Last week I visited Writers In The Storm and wrote about writing deep point of view using layers of emotions and I promised this week to share about writing love in deep point of view. If you missed last week’s post, make sure you check it out.
Let’s recap for a moment. A secondary emotion is our thinking response to primary (instinctive, unthinking) emotions. A secondary emotion could be triggered by one or a dozen primary emotions, and that blend will be unique for every character in every situation.
In deep point of view, it’s vital to understand the why of an emotion. Why is your POVC attracted to that other character? What need or desire are they trying to ease or fill? What emotions (or mix of emotions) is fuelling that feeling of love?
“I opened the door and there he was. It was like I was a magician and had thrown aside the curtain to show my lovely assistant. The sight of him caught my breath in my throat.”
Laurel K. Hamilton, Blue Moon
When it comes to love there isn’t a one size fits all kind of love, is there? It’s nuanced and varied, the relationships don’t all have to look the same or be founded on the same primary emotions. The Greeks have/had 7 words for love:
Eros – erotic-sexual love
Agape – selfless, sacrificial love
Ludus – playful love, overt flirting/teasing/seduction with no strings attached
Philia – deep friendship, platonic and sincere
Pragma – standing in love (as opposed to falling in love) the longstanding practical love as shared by a couple married for a long time
Philautia – self-love – could be meant in a narcissistic way, or in the way of taking care of yourself enabling you to better love others
Storge – familial love as between parent and child
I would guess there’s a lot of books out there that focus on ludus moreso than eros or even pragma. So, let’s reframe how we think about writing love…