deep POV Archives - Lisa Hall-Wilson

Create Emotional Connections With Readers Using Deep Point Of View

December 7, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 1 Comment

There are still many many fans of writers like Tolkien, Austen, and Dickens, but contemporary readers (particularly genre fiction readers) are looking for more than entertainment from a book — they want an emotional experience!

“By some curious chance one morning long ago in the quiet of the world, when there was less noise and more green, and the hobbits were still numerous and prosperous, and Bilbo Baggins was standing at his door after breakfast smoking an enormous long pipe that reached nearly down to his wooly toes (neatly brushed) — Gandalf came by. Gandalf! If you had heard only a quarter of what I have heard about him, and I have only heard very little of all there is to hear, you would be prepared for any sort of remarkable tale.” J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

First published in 1937, The Hobbit was a stellar example of storytelling for the time. The narrator voice is prevalent and the whole work is written in the omniscient POV (both of which were common at the time).

In the early 2000’s, (perhaps earlier) readers began craving work that let them feel closer and more involved in the story and so close third person POV evolved. Strike is the POV character below.

“When informed by telephone that her husband was not, after all, at the writer’s retreat, Leonora Quine sounded anxious.

‘Where is he, then?’ she asked, more of herself, it seemed, than Strike.”

Robert Galbraith (aka J.K. Rowling), The Silkworm

You can see with this closer third person style, the reader was drawn much closer into the story. The Silkworm was published in 2014 – hardly vintage. Still, readers want to be in the action of the story, they want an emotional journey — they want to be the main character.

How Does Deep Point of View Look/Feel Different?

“Chris pulled the phone away from his head and stared at it. The chill on his neck crept down his back. This guy couldn’t be for real. What he was saying about the dreams had to be a coincidence.

“He started down the sidewalk. He needed to get out of here, needed to find his dad, needed to figure out how to stop chasing his tail through life.” K.M. Weiland, Dreamlander

In this last example, the reader isn’t being “told” what’s going on, rather through what the main character sees, hears, knows, thinks, and feels, the reader must infer how the character feels to understand what’s going on. Readers have to care. They must engage and take the journey in the main character’s shoes.

Deep Point Of View Doesn’t Write For The Reader

In other less intimate POVs, the writer can insert information through a character’s internal dialogue, through dialogue tags (ie. he whispered, he wrung his hands anxiously), but in deep point of view everything is written as though the character is alone in their own heads. Beats are used instead of dialogue tags. Instead of writing a story, you’re recording a character’s journey as it happens.

No one else is privvy to the point of view character’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions. The reader and the writer are the main character, they’re not looking over their shoulder.

Using Deep Point of View Selectively

Not every writer who uses deep point of view uses it for their entire story. Some writers will use some aspects of deep point of view for just certain characters, or just certain scenes, to create intensity and intimacy for readers. It is possible to write an entire story in deep point of view, of course it is, but many writers come up with their own brand of deep point of view. They may continue to use italics for emphasis and dialogue tags for instance.

It’s important, as in anything else, to learn the rules first before breaking them. Strictly adhereing to the rules of deep point of view might be too restricting for you or the story you’re telling. Maybe you like the challenge and intensity and never waver from deep point of view.

In a shallower POV style (such as the Robert Galbraith example), deep POV is effective when used for selective scenes to deliver an emotional gut punch for reachers. For books written entirely in deep POV such as the K.M. Weiland example, using a shallower POV style in certain moments and situations will help keep the story moving and not get bogged down in the minutae of the everyday.

Deep Point Of View Isn’t Limited To First Person Or Third

Deep point of view is effective in either first person or third person styles. A story written in first person isn’t deep pov by default — there are many ways writers add distance between the main character and the reader even in first person stories. Deep POV is very popular among first person story writers, but there are many third person writers using deep POV as well.

Deep POV isn’t limited to a present or past tense style either. It can be used effectively either way. You can use deep point of view for every POV character in your story, or just one. You can write in past tense and use present tense for all the internal dialogue in deep point of view. It’s very flexible, the challenge will be to use it consistently (in whatever way you’re using it) in order to prevent jerking the reader out of the story experience.

Avoid Adding Distance Between Readers And Protagonists

The key to effective deep point of view is removing any hint that the reader isn’t IN the story AS IT’S HAPPENING, or that they aren’t the main character in any given scene. Writers build in distance in all kinds of ways that’s acceptable in other POV styles but not in deep point of view. Setting and description are used to do more than tell the reader where the main character is or what’s around them. Instead, in deep point of view the main character must feel their way through the setting.

Do you enjoy reading deep point of view? Do you feel it’s better suited to some genres more than others?

Red Flags For Author Intrusion In Deep Point Of View

December 4, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

How do new writers (or writers new to deep point of view) undermine the emotional tension they’ve created with internal dialogue? By not changing their mindset.

I’m in the middle of my Method Acting For Writers course so I often don’t post here as often as normal when I’m in the midst of giving feedback for students every day. However, I often address issues that trip up my students here on the blog for my larger group of readers. Author intrusion is trick in deep point of view because it’s so sneaky.

Why Write In Deep Point Of View?

Many writers are looking for ways to create a deeper connection between readers and their main character. They want to create an emotional experience and deep point of view definitely can do that, but not if you undermine the feeling that readers are IN THE STORY instead of reading a story – if that makes sense. Readers want an emotional experience in addition to being entertained.

A character’s thoughts tend to be the lifeblood of deep point of view. Internal dialogue helps to clarify the WHY for readers. Why is the MC behaving that way, reacting that way, saying that, etc. But writers switching to deep pov from non-deep point of view styles of writing struggle with too much telling in internal dialogue.

The Minset Switch

Because we want readers to feel like they’re in the story with the MC (think of it like handing a reader a virtual reality headset or going through the story like it’s a first-person shooter game), we want to avoid anything that feels like readers are being told a story.

If your story is a car and the MC is in the driver’s seat, the reader doesn’t want to sit in the stands and watch the race, sit in the backseat or ride shotgun. They want to be in the driver’s lap and see everything the driver sees, feel the vibrations in the wheel and feel the lurch with each gear shift. You break the fictive dream in deep point of view if the reader feels like they’re being told a story rather than living it vicariously through the MC.

So writing internal dialogue as though the reader is listening in comes across as author intrusion. Using internal dialogue to convey backstory or “explain” things to readers feels like author intrusion and breaks the fictive dream. You’ve just picked up your reader, taken them out of the story and plopped them right back in the theatre seats watching the story again.

Red Flags For Author Intrusion In Internal Dialogue

Deep point of view is very personal so internal dialogue works best when it feels organic. Ask whether a character would really explain this to themselves if they already know it.

There’s Bob, Cindy’s fourth boyfriend this year, but what’s he done to his hair?

There’s Bob, was he Cindy’s third or fourth boyfriend this year… What’s he done to his hair?

The information that Bob is just one of many boyfriends is “told” in the first example. The second example feels more like the character is talking to themselves, not the reader. If the character already knows who Bob is, why would they explain who he is to themselves? That’s author intrusion — the information is there just for the reader.

If the reader needs some context or information (and you can’t deliver it through dialogue), you have to frame it in such a way that it feels organic to the moment and the character.

Sentence construction using “when” or “and then” or “when this” and “then that” often leads either to author intrusion and telling OR adding unneccessary distance between the reader and the story. Does that mean you should never use those words? Of course not, but they are red flags.

I was three days into my one week vacation when the phone rang.

In deep point of view this is likely author intrusion. It’s narrator-like, isn’t it. Do you talk to yourself like this? It’s likely being passed off as internal dialogue, but it’s just the writer inserting themselves into the story. At best, it’s adding unneccessary distance for readers. If the reader needs info, it’s usually easier and more organic to have it come out via spoken dialogue.

I picked up the phone.

Hey girl! How’s your vacation?

Stella’s voice brought a grin to my lips. “OK. Four days left. I need to get out of this house.”

Structured this way, the reader is IN the story with the MC instead of having things reported to them and the reader gets the necessary information. You’ll often find writers incorporating newbies or someone new to the story because they can stand in and ask the MC questions that the MC wouldn’t think to answer because they already know the info.

I don’t remember driving home or climbing into my bed and fell asleep right away.

So, if the character doesn’t remember doing any of it then the reader can’t know about it. The character can wake up and realize they don’t remember getting there — in hindsight. You could also use a shallower pov technique to show the character’s awareness of their own actions but that you’re just moving them from point a to point b so to speak. (Yes, if you’re doing it intentionally to create a specific effect or as a story-telling tool, telling or a shallow pov is allowed.)

She stumbled through the door and fell into bed. Had she closed the door? Who cares. She shut her eyes and gave in to sleep.

You can get a copy of my book Method Acting For Writers: Learn Deep Point of View Using Emotional Layers here.

How To Write Fear Authentically Even If You Don’t Write Thrillers

October 31, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

Boo! What better day to write about the body language of fear than the scariest day of the year!

A Deeper Look At Fear

Fear can range from mild to paralyzing. What’s interesting though is that fear caused by a real immediate threat is rarely paralyzing. Our bodies and minds instinctually engage in a race for survival. Usually the fears that can leave us paralyzed are imagined (what ifs).

Chronic stress is a low-intensity fear response to worry, daily insecurity, anxiety, etc. The more I learned about the body language of fear, the more I realized that fear is an emotion that every novelist should know more about because it’s laced in virtually every character arc ever written.

**Sorry if you thought this post was only for horror/thriller authors.** smile **not sorry**

4 Components Of Fear

Fear can be partly instinct, partly learned, partly taught, partly imagined. Pain causes instinctive fear – survival instinct. Falling is an instinctive fear present even in newborns. Past experiences can create learned fears – a young child will learn to fear bunk beds if they had a friend fall out of one and seriously injure themselves. Social context can teach fear of a particular person (avoid your uncle – don’t ever be alone with him) or various forms of racism. The fear of public speaking is largely imagined, but what’s really at stake is reputation, identity, self-worth.

What blend of fear does your character feel?

“Wendy? Darling? Light, of my life. I’m not gonna hurt ya. I’m just going to bash your brains in.”
― Stephen King, The Shining

The Role Of Intuition

Humans have this wonderful gift of intuition. The problem is we don’t listen to it often enough. We perceive a threat (could have been body language, past experience, a friend’s experience, an article we read a year ago) but we discount that perception in favor of what we can see. When you take that admitted predisposition and place a character in a situation that feels threatening but they can’t see anything threatening the fear is ramped up.

Gavin De Becker in his book The Gift of Fear talks about a woman waiting for an elevator. The doors open and inside is a young man in a suit who leers at her and bobs his eyebrows suggestively. Given the statistics about violence against women, her own past experiences and those of her friends, the isolated location, etc. she’s not crazy for perceiving this man as a threat. But rather than obey her intuition and wait for the next elevator, she’ll get into the sound-proof steel box – because he looks OK.

We allow ourselves to disregard our intuition if we can’t explain it logically – he doesn’t look like a rapist.

In fiction, the role of intuition — especially if the character ignores it, is a great device to show the reader unease and discomfort and tip them off that something bad is about to or could happen. The conflict between internal dialogue and physiological response can be juxtaposed with what’s expressed outwardly.

“It is understandable that the perspectives of men and women on safety are so different – men and women live in different worlds…most men fear getting laughed at or humiliated by a romantic prospect while women fear rape and death.” Gavin De Becker, The Gift of Fear

Answering The Why Question

Remember, we have to answer the why question for readers so we work backwards. Why is your character afraid? What is it exactly they’re afraid of and what’s at stake? What do they stand to lose?

Don’t just go through the motions on this. Really dig deep for these answers because the why is how you show the emotion. In deep point of view, we avoid naming emotions so you’ll have to show your reader the excitement or fear through body language, physiology, internal dialogue and spoken dialogue.

This is a guest post for Writers In The Storm blog. Read the full blog post here.

Registration is open now for my 8 week course Method Acting For Writers: Learn Deep Point Of View Using Emotional Layers. Registration closes in THREE DAYS!! Don’t wait!

How To Write About PTSD In Deep Point Of View

October 23, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 12 Comments

We’re always looking to create dynamic characters who are faced with insurmountable (and often life-threatening) obstacles. Characters who are at war with themselves in addition to any external conflict just makes good fiction, and one popular or common internal conflict writers use is post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

The problem is writers research symptoms and run with it. There’s so much more to PTSD than flashbacks that can add emotional layers, depth, and connection for readers.

Why Write About PTSD?

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) has been called shell shock and historically was lumped in with ‘hysteria’ for women. You can research this mental illness, the causes, and the symptoms, (here’s a great link), but I’m more interested in helping you write it with accuracy.

Giving characters a traumatic past and an ongoing condition that hinders their ability to move on is great for character arc if you can pull it off. Otherwise it can come off sounding trite. The character struggling with PTSD is facing overwhelming odds, and any character who stands up to a bully of any kind (even when it’s a mental illness) is someone readers will cheer for.

Recalling Traumatic Events

It’s true that flashbacks can happen with PTSD. What’s really happening with PTSD is that your mind is stuck and forces your body to relive a traumatic event as though it’s happening in real time. So whether the PTSD was caused in a combat situation, a hospital room, or a dark bedroom – your mind convinces your body that you’re right back there again.

Only the most severe cases have flashbacks though. What might be fun to play with is the person discovering their PTSD. They don’t know what’s going on with their bodies, and unless they learn to be very self-reflective won’t be able to figure out what’s wrong.

Who consciously relives traumatic events on purpose? Nobody. But I see this all the time in fiction — as though that’s the only way PTSD manifests. More likely, those memories are shoved to the very back of the mind and actively avoided, and numbed when avoidance isn’t possible. Instead, show the coping mechanisms used to control the symptoms or turn their mind off (escapism, fantasy, porn, drugs, alcohol). Show symptoms of anxiety (sweating, twitchy/jumpy, checking exits, feeling of being trapped – needing to get out/escape) and then send them for another lap around the block even though they’ve already done five more than usual.

The emotions and physical symptoms left by the trauma are so uncomfortable your character will proactively seek a way to get control, but they will avoid thinking about the why. Try showing the emotions and discomfort and leave the memories to be discovered like a bread crumb trail in the woods.

Show The War Going On Inside Your Character

When PTSD is triggered, an adrenaline rush hits with something close to the force the traumatic event caused. The unconscious mind is triggered and it alerts the body to imminent danger — except your conscious mind is aware there’s no danger at all — so you’re at war with yourself quite literally. It will seem to come out of nowhere or can build up slowly to a crashing crescendo.

While part of your mind is hitting the red alert button, the other part of your mind is consciously grappling with your body’s response to the perceived threat and regain control of the physical response. How would this look to an observer? The response will trigger the survival instinct of: fight, flight, or freeze. Will they come out angry, shouting, defensive? Will they try to escape, come up with crazy nonsensical excuses to leave or simply not come after they’ve promised to? Will they stay where they are because running or fighting isn’t going to help them survive – subterfuge, avoidance and compliance will? Will they stay at the party even though they look like they’re being tortured every second of it?

What Does PTSD Look Like?

The physical symptoms are easy to show; just write what’s happening to their bodies. Let internal dialogue focus on their awareness of being irrational, that there’s no threat, yet they’re unable to feel safe. They’ll struggle to control, to conceal, to minimize what others can see. Get it? I’m a BIG fan of Deep POV so I focus on showing the primary emotions through physiology and internal dialogue and showing secondary emotions through outward actions and spoken dialogue.

The Netflix series Jessica Jones is about a woman who struggles with PTSD but won’t admit it. She chooses to numb her emotions with alcohol, anger, and by pushing everyone away. She’s hard to like. But we can cheer for her because every episode she manages to put that aside long enough to help someone who can’t help themselves — she puts herself in danger even though she doesn’t want to because she knows she’s the only one who can help. But the PTSD and addiction is like an anchor everywhere she goes.

PTSD Is About Minimizing Triggers

Those managing PTSD will have a proactive (but not necessarily healthy) strategy to manage symptoms. Some methods might be subtle while others are extreme. Know what your character’s primal goal is when they’re triggered. Is it safety? Is it survival? Is it escaping? Have them seek that out at all costs.

They could have a mantra they recite to control their thoughts. They might have a safe person, someone they trust to watch their backs in new or upsetting situations. Grounding techniques involve consciously cataloguing why the what-ifs won’t happen (There are two exits, It’s a public space, etc.). The slow removal of their dependence on these management techniques is a great way to show growth.

Those who know what their triggers are will actively avoid situations that might set them off. This is a potential for conflict – force them into a situation where they’re uncomfortable, where they feel threatened or unsafe. Put them in new situations. I wasn’t aware that exercise fatigue mimicked my PTSD symptoms, so I was triggered by a jerk at the gym and couldn’t feel it coming on because I was in the middle of a workout. The times when you’re triggered without warning are the worst. Being blindsided by it sets you back days, weeks, even months.

Give Them A Tell

Self-awareness is critical, it’s a hyperawareness often because if you can see it coming or starting you can get off the crazy train before it really gets going. Your unconscious mind will get the ball rolling after a trigger: I’m not safe. I’m not safe. You have to be aware of that mental shift and think your way out of it but more often what tips you off is physical symptoms.

I have a couple of tells that always tip me off: blushing and sweating—profuse sweating disproportionate to the environment. Does your character have a physical symptom they’ve trained themselves to watch for? Are they suddenly jumpy or have an intense urge to leave no matter what?

They’ll want to hide what’s going on because it makes others uncomfortable (people stare, they avoid the character, or treat them differently). Show the character’s awareness of the stigma, and let them fail from time to time.

Blindside Your Character

You can be blindsided by a trigger at any point. A situation that’s been fine a thousand other times can trigger you that one day. This is a great device to save for a pivotal conflict.

It’s like a two-by-four to the head. Show their emotional wounds bleeding all over the floor and have them keep going anyway. Show them growing stronger, trusting people again against their instincts, forgiving themselves because they couldn’t get a hold of themselves again, etc. Let the whole process be messy, two steps forward and one step back. The stories that end in a pretty bow and leave everyone “cured” simply aren’t authentic.

Have a question you’d like to ask about writing PTSD in fiction with realism? What’s the most compelling portrayal of PTSD in fiction you’ve seen so far?

4 Tricks To Keeping Fight Scenes Authentic

October 17, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 1 Comment

I wrote about writing action or fight scenes in deep point of view a while ago, but I got a reader question asking for more specific advice. To deliver the best punch possible, be specific!

Let’s dive a little deeper at the techniques and stylistic choices you can make to add a punch to your action scenes in deep point of view. How much internal dialogue you use will be determined by your POVC’s (point of view character’s) personality, but also the genre you’re writing in. Sword and sorcery novels will be expected to have less internal dialogue in action scenes than paranormal romance for instance.

All things being equal, what are some of the stylistic choices you can make when writing an action scene?

Use Short Quick Words

Hit, punch, jerk, stab, strike, slice — these are all words that sound fast. Compare that with words like push, gouge, impale, run-through, pummel — these are all well-used words in action scenes too, but they don’t sound fast. It’s the hard consonant sound that can get onomatopoeia working for you. That’s not to say don’t use words with longer soft consonant sounds, but it’s something to keep in mind.

Specificity

Instead of having your POVC strike an opponent in the face, have them crack an eye socket. You don’t have to be graphic or gory, but if you’re able to describe with more precision what’s happening it’s easier for readers to picture what’s happening.

She swung wildly with her knife.

She swung for his eyes with her knife.

One makes you wince and the other doesn’t quite engage you the same way, right. Also, keep in mind the relative fighting experience of your POVC. Someone who’s a trained killer will know precisely what organs, joints, or bones they’re aiming for, what damage they’re aiming to create, and how debilitating that injury will be. The housewife assaulted as she’s getting into her van in a parking garage will be fighting for her life. She might not be able to use the same specificity as the trained assassin.

Keep It Short

Most action scenes are short. You can’t maintain that breakneck pace without readers checking out just to breathe. If you’re writing a prolongued battle scene (whether it’s with fists, swords, or words) remember to give the reader a chance to breathe. Move the fight to a new location – the argument moves to another room, another player enters the scene, you get the idea. This also gives you a chance to change or ratchet up the emotional tension in the scene.

Keep Skills Realistic

If your POVC is female fighting a male, make sure to explain the difference in size, weight, height, wingspan, etc. Your female character can’t be equal to men in EVERY circumstance. There are physiological differences you’ll need to either explain away or compensate for.

A fight to the death should be dirty. Too many fight scenes employ these half-hearted, polite swings and head butts. If your life is on the line, you’re going to draw blood, break bones, there won’t be any holds barred.

A writing teacher rightly criticized one of my fight scenes between two trained soldiers (one more experienced, heavier, and taller than the other) as being too tame. The one who was overpowered in my story at some point stops relying on fancy moves and is simply trying to survive. Would you hesitate to gouge out someone’s eyes if that was the only way you could think to survive an encounter?

Not every genre will require the gory details, but keep it as authentic as possible. Remember, you are not telling this fight scene, your POVC is. How would they see this fight? What won’t they do? What would be their instinct at first? How far would they go to survive? The fallout of these scenes can be very powerful, but the outcome feels fake if the battle to get there wasn’t bloody.

In your current WIP, how much experience does your POVC have with fighting? How would they handle a physical encounter with someone bigger and stronger than them? How would they rationalize a physical encounter with someone they overpower?

I am doing a free 5 Day Deep Point Of View Challenge on Facebook starting October 22. It’ll be in a closed Facebook group. You can sign up for the waiting list here so you don’t miss out when I have all the details put together.