deep POV Archives - Lisa Hall-Wilson

Don’t Let “The Rules” Of Deep POV Limit You!

November 7, 2019 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

There are a great many writers who LOVE rules. Rules. Rules. Rules. They rub their hands together and begin to salivate. Grammar rules. Punctuation rules. Structure rules. Genre rules. Templates. Formulas.

I’m not such a big fan of writing rules myself, generally speaking — so I’m only guessing here, but I suspect some writers love rules because it feels like there’s a greater chance for success. A gaurantee. If I follow all the rules then I will write a great book and scads of people will love my work. And, in all their varied wonder – rules aren’t bad.

Here’s What People Misunderstand About Deep POV

Deep POV is a tool. It’s a strategy. I have used a wrench to pound in a nail because that’s what I had within reach to get the job done, and it worked. If wrenches came with user manuals, would instructions for pounding in a nail with it be found there? Nope. But it worked because my goal was simply to get the nail in the wall RIGHT NOW.

Deep POV is all about creating an effect. It’s a strategy. The goal of deep pov is to remove the perceived distance between the reader and the character, so the reader is immersed in the story so they are living the story as it’s happening. Many, many books and blogs outline the basics of deep pov — and those basics are important, they’re necessary. (Many believe just learning the basics is enough, but there are so many interconnected threads to other writing tools that get filtered through deep pov — that deep pov adds depth and subtle hues to, the basics are just the tip of the iceberg.) However, a little bit of knowledge leads to frustration. You KNOW it’s not coming out on the page the way you want it to, but you don’t know how to fix it.

A comment from a student taking the Method Acting For Writers Masterclass on Deep POV.

Just Knowing The Rules Of Deep POV Won’t Make It Work For You

Learn what effect “the rules” were teaching you to create. Once you understand how the tools are meant to be used, then you have an understanding of how to put them to best use for your story. If my goal is to put a nail in the wall, does it really matter what tool I use to achieve that in the end? No, not really (no matter what any perfectionist says). It’s a nail – no one is going to see it. All people will see is the picture I’ve hung on the nail.

Let’s look at removing the distance between the reader and the character in deep pov for example. Most writers struggle with this to some degree (particularly if you’re a big fan of classic literature where the omniscient pov was king), but in deep pov removing distance is taken to all new levels of intensity and it can be hard to grasp at first.

But learning to recognize distance when you see it is one thing. Knowing how to use it to create a specific effect is another. In deep pov, writers strive to remove the perceived distance between the reader and the character because the goal is to create an effect where the reader feels like they’re IN the story, not being told a story.

However, sometimes distance is helpful. There are simply practical instances such as skimming over time or moving – a character is driving from point A to point B and the story only moves ahead when the character gets to point B. There are stylistic choices such as creating an effect of the character feeling like time is flying by, they’ve lost track of time, or an out-of-mind/body experience. Staying in deep pov in these instances won’t create the effect you’re looking for and/or will tie an anchor to the pace of your novel.

With my book, this blog, my free courses, and my more intensive paid courses, I strive to teach “the rules” because it’s super important to know what effect those rules are trying to create, but then — as an artist — it’s your job to make those effects WORK FOR YOU and not be ruled by them.

But What About… They Break Deep POV Rules

I inevitably get one or a few students pointing out that this author or that one, who I’ve cited as using deep pov, breaks this rule or that one — or a bunch of them. Here’s the thing. YOU get to decide how deep you want to write. YOU decide when you’re going to break the rules. YOU decide how strictly you want to adhere to any one rule or all of them. YOU.

Is it OK to using telling to introduce a character? “The Rules” of deep pov would say no. There’s always a way, without breaking POV, telling, or author intrusion, to introduce a character. And that’s usually correct. But, there may be times where you just need the reader to know who that new character is and keep the flow of the scene moving and focused on something else. That’s OK.

Just remember, if you cheat the rules of deep pov because you can’t be bothered to dig deep enough to find the real emotion powering a scene, a character’s real motiviation, or spend the time to craft a sentence to avoid author intrusion — you’re cheating your readers too. Cheat your reader too much and they won’t keep reading. Lazy writing rarely gets celebrated, my friends.

This is a messy business, and the best writing wrings more blood and tears from the writer than it ever will from the reader. But it’s worth the effort. Always. Because everyone who reads your work will get that emotional experience, that emotional journey you wanted to deliver — even you.

Have you joined the 5 Day Deep Point of View Challenge group on Facebook? Three to five times a year, I run a free challenge where I post video lessons and give feedback on YOUR work.

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4 Exercises To “Go Deeper” With Deep Point Of View

September 22, 2019 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

Hearing “go deeper” from crit partners and editors? Here are my 4 favorite tricks for digging deeper emotionally into a scene.

Deep point of view is a powerful writing technique, but it’s a strategy and like any technique or strategy you need to know what effect you want to create so you understand where and when to break the rules. What you have to decide for yourself (once you know the “rules”) is where and when you’re going to employ or break those rules in any given scene to create a specific effect for readers. There does need to be consistency, but there’s a lot of flexibility here.

Deep point of view applied too rigidly causes writing on the nose, navel gazing, slow pacing, and other problems.

In my Method Acting for Writers Masterclass (and moreso in my Deep Dive Author Club Membership) I help point out places where the writer could “go deeper” with their writing. It’s been my observation that these writers instinctively know what the scene needed, but hold back because they fear being melodramatic or of baring too much of themselves emotionally. Step into the uncomfortable and messy bits!

My students are always asking me how I know where to take the writing deeper. Part of it is simply having some emotional distance from the story. It’s easier to pick it out in a story I haven’t written lol. That aside, here are some things I look for when critiquing student work to help them go deeper.

What does your character want RIGHT NOW?

This is easy to miss and can absolutely swing a scene from blah to bang! Identify what your character desperately needs in the scene you’re working on. What they want will prioritize and filter everything they see, what they think, and how they interpret the body language of others.

A teenage boy gets home from school at 4PM and hasn’t had lunch yet. He’ll blow into the house and not notice if the walls have been painted or if anyone else is home, his goal is to get to the fridge to see what he can eat. He’ll notice if there are grocery bags on the counter. His nose will be attuned to any cooking smells. He opens the fridge and immediately searches the space where he last saw a leftover slice of pizza.

A husband returns home to his wife after a late-night meetup with his lover. What his wife notices or takes in will be a reflection of her priorities, experiences, etc. If she’s neck-deep in work, maybe she’ll give him a kiss on the cheek and apologize that she’ll be up late again. She won’t notice the lipstick on his collar or the perfume on his shirt.

If she’s spent the day wrangling preschoolers and is exhausted and feeling frumpy, she might just sag with relief when he says he’s going for a shower and then bed after being out late because please-don’t-want-sex-tonight. She’ll overlook the red flags, maybe even justify or dismiss clues because she trusts him and her priority at that moment is some peace and quiet.

In either situation, she’s not stupid for missing the clues and it isn’t that she hasn’t registered or taken in the red flags, but her conclusions are filtered through her priorities. It’s human nature to miss what you’re not looking for. If she was suspicious, or less distracted, or angry that he was late, she’d put more importance on or be more attuned to his body language or behavior.

Identify what your character wants in any scene and filter all the details they notice, even the words they use to describe what they notice, through that focus or priority.

Create An Emotional Arc With Every Scene

Identify the emotion your character feels at the beginning of a scene. Each scene has an emotional beginning, middle and end. With plot, you want to structure your scenes in such a way that the character begins with a goal (that is the next step to solving their story goal) and by the end of the scene either they’ve gotten what they wanted but no longer want it, or they fail to get what they want. The emotional arc works the same way. The failure in the scene should be reflected in the emotional arc for the character as well.

Each failure should have an emotional consequence.

This arc doesn’t need to be dramatic or life-altering. It’s a slow change over time. You want to surprise your readers with the emotional arc when possible. Whatever emotion the character started the scene with, make sure they feel an opposite or conflicting emotion at the end of the chapter. It doesn’t have to be blatant like love and indifference. Don’t fulfil your character’s expectations. If the character goes into a scene happy but knows they’ll be betrayed by the end, there’s no surprise for the reader. The reader already knows what’s going to happen because the character does. Go back to the beginning of the scene and change up the emotional starting point.

Think of the second book in the Narnia series Prince Caspian. The Pevensies are transported back to Narnia and they have expected to be elated and overjoyed to have returned to what feels familiar, but instead, they arrive and are confused. That expected elation and joy feels a bit flat when they realize they haven’t returned to the Narnia they left.

Avoid Cliches With Metaphors And Similes

Cliches are boring for readers, they know what’s coming. Sometimes you can make that work for you, sometimes it undermines your story. So, how do you avoid clichés with your characters? First, make sure the character is telling the story – you’re not. In deep point of view, the goal is for the writer to disappear as much as possible so that the reader is living out the story WITH the main character.

Strap a Go-pro to your character and write what they see, pause at, are surprised by – as they work their way through the story. When you can do that, the next step is to infuse your character’s internal and spoken dialogue with phrases and comparisons that are unique. This is the easiest way to avoid cliché (because sometimes we write clichés and don’t even realize it).

To describe someone who’s angry, a farmer might say they’re mad as a hornet in a Coke can. A businessman might describe a meeting was as much fun as the middle seat on an international flight. What’s common to that character based on their experience and background? Choose comparisons that hint at where they’ve come from, or what’s important to them, when thinking or speaking.

Find The Key Emotional Point In Every Chapter

Your POV character is solving a problem – that’s your story. Every chapter/scene is the POV character’s plan (the next step they’ve come up with) on how to resolve or solve this problem they have. Obviously, they can’t solve their story problem in the first chapter, and there have to be obstacles between the character and whatever goal they have in.

In each scene, look at the goal the character has for that scene. List three or five possible emotions your character could be feeling. Stretch yourself here. Get curious. Why would they feel each of those emotions? What are the consequences of those emotions? What would be the personal fallout of each of those emotions? What kind of person do they think would feel that way? What judgement do they make about themselves based on how they feel about what they’re doing?

Whichever one you pick, make that emotion unique to that character in that moment.

There are many shades of fear, right. Why would that character be afraid in that moment? A character afraid of losing their job will feel differently than a character afraid of losing face by approaching a pretty girl. Answer the WHY for readers so they understand (and can empathize with and cheer for) your character’s motivations.

The 5 Day Deep Point Of View Challenge is starting up again on October 14. The Method Acting For Writers Masterclass will begin at the end of the 5 day challenge, so be sure to join the group to get all the updates on the course!!

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Identify Your Character’s Emotional Triggers

June 26, 2019 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

Everyone has an emotional trigger. This is not about mental health, anxiety, PTSD — none of that. Every one has emotional triggers – but are you using this to increase the emotional tension in your story? Why not!?

What Does Your Character Think Is Their Strength?

What does your character pride themselves on having, being, doing, possessing, needing, controlling, etc? Do they rest their identity in any of these things? Some common ones are: acceptance, respect, being liked, being needed, freedom, attention, being in control, autonomy, safety, etc.

It could be a strength or aptitude that was reinforced when they were young. A child identified as gifted at a young age might place all their identity and self-worth in being smart, in being the smartest person in the room. How would they feel when faced with a new colleague who is smarter, faster, more innovative? What would that do to their self-confidence?

This where personality plays into things. Would they react in anger and lash out, gossip, try to undermine the new colleague at every opportunity? Would they sink into shame and beat themselves up constantly? Would they become competitive and work themselves into the groud to maintain what they believe they’re owed or due?

A woman who’s always told how pretty she is might begin to expect that compliment from people, from men in particular. What thought takes root if that doesn’t happen? What emotions come to the fore if she’s in the room when another woman gets all the compliments and not her?

Emotional triggers are often linked to anything at all that a character feels they’re really good at, that they deserve, something they see as their personal identity, or that they’re constantly striving for (feeling heard by a spouse for example).

What Does Your Character Value Most And Fears Having Taken Away?

This where the primary and secondary emotions come into play. You can read more about that here – but for to recap a primary emotion is an instinctive emotional response: fear, guilt, envy, jealousy, attraction. A secondary emotion is any emotion that requires a thinking response: love, anger, hatred, shame, etc.

Anger and shame and love are always secondary emotions.

Some emotions can be either a primary or secondary emotion. Take attraction for instance (learn to write the body language of attraction here), attraction can be an instinctive thing (a primary emotion), but it can also develop over time with familiarity (a secondary emotion).

An emotional trigger skips the primary emotion phase and jumps right to the thinking response – the secondary emotion. That’s why you can instantly be angry at something and not know why.

So, for example, I have a character with an emotional trigger of feeling high maitenance. If she perceives that people think she’s being high maitenance, too-big-for-her-britches, because it’s a learned response (one that she’s practiced many times) she skips right to feeling shame. The shame is what’s observable (showable in actions or dialogue). The shame is what I show when writing this emotional trigger.

What Emotions Are Activated When Key Needs Are Or Aren’t Met?

Activated is another way to say triggered, but in this context it seems more descriptive. Once you’ve identified the feelings or fears that are emotional triggers for your character (and yes you can have more than one), next figure out what emotions are activated when that situation crops up.

You have to think in terms of secondary emotions here. Do they immediately become angry? Are they riddled with shame? Do they feel loved? Remember, triggers don’t have to be negative!

Now, to manage or overcome an emotional trigger, an individual needs a good measure of self-awareness and humility. Then, as Brene Brown would say, they need to get curious. Why do they feel that way? What do they feel is at stake?

How To Show And Not Tell An Emotional Trigger

In my Method Acting For Writers Masterclass, I talk about how primary emotions are usually felt and secondary emotions are usually seen. How does that play out?

Eliza’s husband is three hours later coming home than he said he’d be, without answering texts, emails or phone calls to explain the delay. Eliza has shipped the kids off to grandma’s for the night, prepared a nice dinner, and gottten all dressed up — as a surprise.

By the time hubs arrives home, Eliza has cleared the romantic setting from the table, put all the still-edible bits of food in the fridge, and Eliza’s changed out of the sexy outfit she’d been wearing into a terry bathrobe.

During the whole clean-up, her primary emotions are going wild. Frustration (feeling taken for granted). Concern (did something happen at work). Fear (was he in an accident). Jealousy (was there another woman). You’d show all these emotions colliding around inside through physiology , actions, and internal dialogue.

Once hubs arrives home and is safe – oh, whoops – went out for drinks did I forget to text you? Now she has to DO something with these emotions so now she’s angry. But if Eliza had an emotional trigger of say… feeling in control, then not knowing where her hubs was when he was supposed to be at home would be a trigger for a secondary emotion. Having her well-thought-out plans for the surprise would be an emotional trigger.

Emotional triggers can be powerful and effective, because they’re so often over-the-top emotional reactions. When your emotional triggers are activated, you’re not just angry — you’re livid. People can observe these night-and-day emotional hairpin turns because they seem to come out of nowhere if you’re not privvy to what the trigger is.

Are you using emotional triggers in your novel? What is your character afraid will be taken away or threatened?

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Why Is Learning Deep Point Of View So Hard?

May 30, 2019 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

When you only have the basics of deep point of view, writing with this technique becomes a bit like exploring a new house by groping your way through the main floor in the dark. You’re guessing, making assumptions, and skimming over important details. This is a case where a little information is a dangerous thing. Many writers take these basic strategies and think that’s all there is to it, but there’s SO MUCH more to deep point of view.

Deep point of view is hard to learn because it’s hard to find more information than just the basics!

The Four Basics Everyone Covers

If you do a search on deep point of view, you’ll probably find a rehash of the same four or five basic principles of deep point of view. And these are a great starting place. The problem is that those blogs don’t tell you they’re just scratching the surface – or maybe they don’t know themselves if they don’t write in deep point of view.

What are the basics? Avoid telling (such as naming emotions). Remove all distance and thinking words. Watch for author intrusion. Write tight (because deep pov often adds to your word count).

These are great tips, but the problem is writers read these and think that’s all there is to deep point of view. If they can master these things, they’re off to the races. And it can’t really be that hard, right. Just do a search in your manuscript for these naughty words — good to go!

Not quite.

What Makes Deep Point Of View Work?

I wrote about whether deep point of view will work for your story, which is a different question. What makes deep point of view work is much deeper than plot drivers or genre.

The power of deep point of view is the intimate perspective, the raw and authentic emotions, and the very narrow worldview readers experience a story through. You can nail all the basics mentioned above and still get feedback that you need to go deeper.

I created the Deep Point Of View Blueprint so you’d have an idea of what techniques and tools you’ll need to explore more if you wanted to do the research and learning on your own.

That’s how I learned. But it took me years and years to do it on my own!

I went to my first writer’s conference in 2007. I won free registration. That’s where I first heard about close third person — which is sorta deep point of view but not quite. I was fascinated by the way my favourite authors were now writing in such a way that I felt like I was IN the story. There was a fresh intensity and connection to books I hadn’t felt before (and I was a lifelong reader) and I set out to write like this for myself.

I recently came across conference critiques I’d received in 2011 – so FOUR YEARS after I first launched my own exploration and study into what would become known as deep point of view. So, after four years I was convinced I had the basics down pat (but I didn’t know they were just the basics) and had a publishable story.

The editor, agent, and contest judge made the same comments I’d heard everywhere else without much help on what to do next:

Great concept, but I don’t understand why [character name] made that decision – it’s irrational. Undercuts the tension.

Ouch! How about this one:

You need to go deeper. I don’t know how your character feels about this. If I don’t know how they feel, I can’t care with them.

Or…

I can’t picture any of what’s going on. Lot of suspense, but I wasn’t drawn in…

For FOUR YEARS!! I’d been studying and reading up on deep point of view and guys – I was still missing the point. I still couldn’t get deep point of view to work for me! And I couldn’t find the information I needed in one place.

I came home absolutely defeated. What was I missing? I had done everything the blogs and writing books had said to do. If I was lucky, I’d get one or two comments on the next thing to work on: use beats not tags; this is author intrusion; this is telling… Let me tell you, that is the SLOW and expensive way to learn! lol

I almost quit. I needed to go deeper – but I don’t know HOW!! Have you been there too?

It took years and years working on my own to grasp what deep point of view was really about. I had to delve into intermediate topics on writing and taught myself to see the connections and common threads. I studied the books that made me FEEL to see how they were using language and perspective. I read psychology books on emotions and body language, and started incorporating the information about behavior, thinking, and coping I was learning with my therapist into my writing.

I didn’t realize how comprehensive writing in this style was until I sat down to create my deep point of view masterclass and pulled all the threads together into a bite-size series that even newer writers could learn from and use right away.

Deep point of view is not hard to learn once you understand what effect you’re trying to create and the range of tools you have at hand to do that. It’s more than a set of rules — words to avoid. It’s a shift in how you tell stories, in digging deep into your own emotional experience, and creating an effect that pulls readers so deep into a story they feel like they’re RIGHT THERE WITH YOUR PROTAGONIST.

My deep point of view masterclass is open right now. This course is almost 5 weeks long. It’s intense. It’s a masterclass for intermediate writers. You will have to work – but at the end you’ll have all the tools, a concept map on how to use the tools, personalized feedback, and a community of writers you can turn to when you need a hand.

Learn more about this masterclass here! Registration closes on June 3.

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Will Deep Point Of View Work For You?

May 28, 2019 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 1 Comment

Will deep point of view work for you? Deep point of view is going to change your writing and even change how you read fiction, but it’s not a panacea to bestseller status. It’s just not. Deep point of view is an intermediate fiction technique that requires you to have a good foundation in basic writing skills to make it work for you.

Deep point of view is lipstick on a pig if you don’t understand story structure, character arc, tension, conflict, scenes and sequels, hooks, avoiding adverbs, passive voice, point of view, and maybe a few others that aren’t coming to my mind at the moment. If you are just starting out, focus on learning these things first. I promise you, it will save you hours and hours of editing and disappointment.

Why? Because these basic things will be all people point out to you when you’re starting out. They will see these beginning mistakes and shrug. This is a good writer, but they’re not ready to be published yet.

Been there.

However, if you’re past all those things and you’ve been writing for a bit then you’re probably ready for deep point of view. You’ve probably heard about deep point of view already and maybe wondered what it’s all about. This technique is particularly popular among any of the romance genre writers, but is growing in popularity across all popular fiction categories including fantasy, thrillers, crime, sci-fi, historicals, and others.

What Genres Does Deep Point Of View Work For?

Deep point of view brings the reader in super close to the emotional heart of a story. While action is conveyed through deep point of view effectively, the power of deep point of view is how a character feels (hence the prevalence of it being used in romance genres).

So whether your character has escaped her kidnapper, is the target of a serial killer, is parsing out whether that hot guy is worth the trouble he’s causing, is hunting for a missing child, is alone on a piece of driftwood after the Titanic has sunk, or facing down a dragon — how the character feels and how the events of the story impact their heart is where deep point of view really grabs readers by the throat and won’t let go.

What this means practically is that your story might be well-suited to using deep point of view throughout the whole novel, or is better used strategically for key scenes. It can be boiled down to a very simplistic view of character driven vs plot driven. However, every story is unique and the emotional tension might be a key aspect of a plot driven story. Only you can answer this question, and the answer might vary from one novel to another.

In a thriller, if the story is written from the victim’s POV, deep point of view could be very effective for the entire novel because his terror and self-doubt and rage are what you want the reader to connect with (the story is character driven). If the POV is the detective hunting the killer, then the concrete details of the investigation (plot driven) are the main plot drivers so using deep point of view for key scenes – like the aftermath of the discovery of a new victim, the night off when the detective chooses to drink herself into oblivion to avoid the emotions flooding her senses – could be very impactful for readers. These are trends I’ve observed, but it is overly simplistic. I think deep point of view can work for any kind of novel.

Can I Use Deep Point Of View With First Or Third Person?

Not all first person stories are written in deep point of view. I used to think that writing in first person nessicitated using deep point of view, but that’s not the case. How deep you want to delve into the emotional heart of a character and how close the reader feels to being IN the story, is the pertinent question to ask.

Deep point of view can work in either first person or third person. I’ve seen deep point of view used for one POV character and not another. I think the main point is to be consistent. If you begin writing a character in deep pov then keep that going. If you’re only using deep pov for key scenes, then keep doing that – for the whole novel.

3 Keys To Success With Deep Point Of View

Be Realistic And Authentic

Between the work from students of my Method Acting Class, submissions in my 5 Day Deep Point Of View Challenge on Facebook, and comments from readers of my Method Acting For Writers book, I’ve come to see that some writers don’t care about being realistic or authentic with emotions.

From time to time, most writers realize they’ve written a character who is being irrational, lacks focus or goals, or doesn’t face the consequences of their behavior — and we revise. We want to do better. But I’ve also encountered many writers who don’t care. They have an end goal in mind – a happily ever after or whatever, and they don’t care if the journey to get there feels real or authentic to readers. This is THEIR story and they can do what they like.

The problem with that attitude is that if these flaws are evident in your character in a shallower point of view, deep pov will only point a spotlight on them. Will there be readers who don’t care if a story is well-written or authentic? Yeah.

I’m not content to write those kinds of stories. I encourage all my students to strive for more than that too. I want to write the kind of story that impacts readers, makes them feel, is a story they want to revisit over and over — not just be an afternoon’s fling and never thought of again.

Commit To Excelling At Craft And Writing The Best You Can Write

If you want to write in deep point of view, commit to learning the strategy. Half-assing it will not create the effect you’re hoping for. Deep point of view is about so much more than avoiding distance words or telling.

Many of us are tempted to skim over details for a few common reasons. We don’t know the character well enough to know what they feel, why they feel that way, or what the impact of that emotion is on their character or actions. Sometimes we’re writing about an emotion or event that hits a little too close to home and we’d just rather skim over the details and get back to the story. If that’s the case, change the story event. You’re the author. You’re allowed to change things like that and still get your character to feel a particular way. Sometimes you have to put the story aside for a time until you’ve found some healing and perspective for yourself first.

Be mindful of your own mental health though. We’ve all read stories of actors who took method acting a step or two too far and paid some heavy mental health consequences as a result. Be kind to yourself. Take a break when needed. Talk with a friend, spouse, or therapist. Hey – athletes don’t hestitate to go to physio, a chiropractor, or massage therapist if it will help their performance. If your trade is writing emotions with authenticity and realism, then talking to someone who’s an expert on those things is a business expense and those experts are part of your support team.

Be Strategic

Know what effect you want to create in any given scene, where you want the character to go/feel/do as a result of any scene, and use the best tool for the job. This is hard if you don’t know what tools you have at hand or how to use them.

There are troves of blogs out there excusing telling without explaining how to use it strategically. There are blogs that only repeat the basic foundational steps for writing in deep point of view – they offer the top drawer tools in a tool box and neglect to mention all the bottom of the box tools you also need or have at hand. Sure, you can put on base boards with a hammer and nails, but a pro is going to use a nail gun. Learn the pro tools for a better overall finished effect.

Registration is open now for my Method Acting For Writers Masterclass. Learn deep point of view in 5 weeks (all the tools, not just the top level stuff), get personalized feedback, and submit 3 pages per week for critique so you know you’ve got it right! Learn more here.

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How To Create 3-D Emotional Depth In Fiction

May 14, 2019 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 2 Comments

Adding emotional depth to a scene, often in the revision stage, can be hard because you’ve written it as you pictured it in your head, right. However, sometimes what’s in your head isn’t what comes across on the page. How frustrating! Try creating a 3-D effect for readers and using sensory details to convey motive/goals/priorities, and emotions.

Before You Turn To The Sensory Details…

Yes, sensory details are going to be important, but first thing’s first. For deep point of view, you must become the main character in each scene. You’re not a passive third-party observer, a movie-goer in a theatre seat – you are the main character. This small tweak to how your brain captures the scene is very helpful.

Now, what’s your character’s goal in this scene? What do they want to happen? What are they trying to acheive? What’s at stake? What’s their worst case scenario? Jot all this down if you need to. This is your character’s WHY and it will be the filter through which all the other details are seen through.

List 5 Things Your Character Can See

This is actually a twist on a grounding exercise for those struggling with PTSD, anxiety, etc. Close your eyes and become your main character for a moment. Remind yourself of their WHY – what are they desperate to find, get to, rescue, overcome, etc.

List 5 things your character can see. What are the first five things your character notices about the setting? Remember, readers do 90% of the work with description. If I write that my pretty female MC has pulled the handsome male MC she’s been crushing on into a dark office and made a point of locking the door behind her. She reaches for the buttons on her blouse and he reaches for the blinds.

What are the first 5 things she sees? Here’s my guess: his body posture, the desk he’s leaning back against, the way his fingers curl around the edge of the desktop, the light coming into the office under the locked door, the file marked TOP SECRET on his desk.

Adding Layers Of Sensory Details To Show Emotional Depth

Sight is the primary sense writers use and that’s totally understandable, but we have other senses that take in information that influences our decisions and interpretations of things. You’ve written down the character’s WHY, and the first five things the character sees in this scene. (What she notices or searches for hints at her WHY.)

List 4 things she can hear: the metallic rasp of the blinds against the office windows, the muted footsteps and murmurs of colleagues passing by the office, the crunch of papers under his backside, the sharp intake of his breath.

List 4 things she can touch: the hard smooth buttons on her blouse, the soft silk of her blouse, the stiff utilitarian carpet under her toes, the restrictive watch band on her wrist ticking away the time…

List 3 things she can smell: his cologne or aftershave, the lingering scent of her own shampoo, the sharp popcorn odour from the microwave in the office across the fall.

What Can All Those Sensory Details Show Readers?

My character is concerned with getting a glimpse of a file on the guy’s desk, but she also really really likes this guy. She’s a little conflicted. She’s very aware of the time – of how quickly it’s passing, and that they’re not alone. They are in a busy office setting.

Now, in a story I wouldn’t want to just catalogue all these details. I would pick one or two or three details that would create a 3 dimensional setting for readers. The physical details of the setting, the desk, the door, are what’s vital for reader to know. Does it matter in this scene if there’s art on the wall? That the guy has a $30,000 vase on a shelf? What the name plate on his desk says? Not right now. All of the setting details are filtered and prioritized through her scene goals and motivations.

The Key To Creating A 3-D-Style Setting

The really key thing to remember is that YOU (the writer) are not describing the scene or the setting, the character is. That’s the tweak you need to make to the POV perspective.

Whatever is important to the character, whatever their goals are, what they’re afraid of, all those things are going to create a filter through which they take in information. In deep point of view, what they overlook or don’t notice is just as important as what they do see. If my character above had never been in that office before, she might notice different things maybe. If she had a different reason for being in that office with that guy, she would focus on different details. The fact that she doesn’t notice any setting details beyond the desk, the man, and the folder on the desk inside the office offers clues for readers.

Trust Your Readers To Understand How Sensory Details Betray Emotions

The biggest issue I come across when helping people learn deep point of view is that they don’t trust the reader. They leave this beautiful trail of clues that are subtle and well done, and then the next sentence they blurt out everything they alluded to above just to “make sure the reader gets it.” This is what beta readers are for. Ask them, did you get this? In this scene, what did you think she wanted most? These kinds of questions will help you figure out if you need to tweak the description or not instead of resorting to blunt telling.

I’m opening up the 5 Day Deep Point Of View Challenge on Facebook again from May 20-24! Join the free group and get 5 days of free video lessons and get feedback on your homework! Make sure you answer the questions to get into the group!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/5daydeeppovchallenge/

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