Use Beats In Deep POV To Convey Emotion

September 9, 2020 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 7 Comments

In deep point of view, we want to use beats instead of dialogue tags to attribute dialogue. Beats move the story ahead, they are more efficient, keep the reader deep inside the character’s head, and remove the writer/narrator voice. In limited third person, dialogue tags are encouraged (he said/she said), but they aren’t used much (or preferably at all) in deep point of view.

“Hand me that bowl,” Edith said. (dialogue tag)

“Hand me that bowl.” Edith waved her finger at the large red bowl on the top shelf. (action beat)

Action Beats

It’s a pretty easy switch to replace dialogue tags with some movement or action by the character speaking. This is known as an action beat, but if all you’re doing with that action is attributing dialogue it’s a stage direction. Stage directions have their place, but in deep point of view you want to use stage directions sparingly and instead challenge yourself to ensure every word moves the story ahead. Your action beats should also show emotion, or motivation, or priorities, etc. AS WELL AS attribute dialogue.

“Hand me that bowl.” Edith waved her finger at the top shelf. “The red one.”

“Hand me that bowl.” Edith stabbed the air towards the top shelf with a stiff finger and raised her voice. “The red one!”

For an action beat to do all of this, dig deeper than stuffing hands in pockets, running hands through their hair, or moving from stage right to stage left. Really be aware of the emotions the character is struggling with (both those they’re willing to let people see and those they’re trying to hide) and then add movements or gestures that reflect their emotions, their inner turmoil, angst, hopes, etc.

Jan sat and bounced back up out of her chair to pace. “But I really like him and he doesn’t even know I exist.”

Physical Sensations: Internal and External

There are internal physical sensations and external ones and these can be used to attribute dialogue as well. Both work well for powerful beats to convey emotion and move the story along.

Heart rate is an internal sensation. The sting of crushing snow in your bare palm is an external sensation.

Emotions are FELT inside the body, so google the emotion you want to convey and work with the physical symptoms. Consider flushed skin, heart rate, constricted throat, tense muscles, quivering muscles, numbness, sensitivity, tingles, shivers, prickles, stinging, etc. Various aches and constricting – throat, gut, shoulders, back, lower abdomen, thighs, hands, etc. show emotion or emotion withheld. Whether these parts ache, or squeeze, twist, have stabbing pains, get tense, or throb – they can all show how a character feels, what they want to do, etc.

Where do they carry tension or hold emotion? Where a character carries their tension can tattle on the kind of tension they carry. A tight and clenched throat often hints at words that are swallowed or stamped down, or some deep emotion (from the past) that’s kept under control though it wants to burst forth.

Choose verbs that convey emotion intentionally and strategically. Do shivers creep up their arms, or rattle their spine? Is there a stiff breeze or a chilly draft? Is it raining or humid, how does that make their skin feel? Are their clothes too tight, too loose, wet, bunching – what draws their attention to their discomfort? The character’s perception of these things can all be used to show how a they feel or show the WHY behind a decision.

Shannon sank her toes deeper into the icy sand and cracked her neck. “I can do this.”

Shannon swallowed around the lump clogging her throat and pressed her shaking fingers against her belly. “I can do this.”

Setting Beats

A character’s perception of the setting can be used as a beat. Remember, it’s all about how the character perceives what they take in – do they feel encouraged, set upon, beat up, blocked – how can the natural world around them or the physical setting show this?

“So you’re leaving? There’s no changing your mind?” Steve leaned against the faded pencil marks on the doorframe that had tracked their childrens’ growth over the years that now seemed more like a countdown clock to this moment.

“I don’t believe you. He was fine this morning. I kissed him goodbye.” Cynthia glanced out the window and the last leaf let go on the maple Joe had planted, scattered to winter’s coming chill.

Tone Of Voice

I find this one is very effective, but often overlooked as a beat. Tone of voice shows us so much about how a character feels. The actual meaning of the words we speak are only one third of the information we take in when deciphering communication: meaning of words, body language, tone of voice.

She couldn’t keep the quiver from her voice. “Everything is my fault.”

Steve crouched down to the child’s eye-level and forced some cheer into his voice. “I’m home now. Still wanna play?”

This is also effective when the POV character is interpreting what others are saying to them. Consider these examples. Barric is NOT the POV character in any of these sentences, but the POV character is taking in more than just his words to interpret the meaning of what he’s communicating.

“Well, you’re stuck with me.” Barric didn’t raise his voice. Like he wasn’t mad at all. “We don’t get to choose our families.”

“Edric was doing his job.” Barric’s tone grew sharper and his accent more pronounced than it had been. “Don’t find meaning in actions where none was intended.”

Internal Dialogue

Yes, you can use a thought as a beat. In deep POV, italics or he/she thought tags are avoided and beats used to attribute thoughts as well. Some writers *I think* fear that if they don’t tell the reader the character is thinking they won’t know thoughts from narrative, but in deep pov all of it comes from the POV character. Thoughts, when used well, can be very effective beats.

“Why are you doing this to me?” Lynna had told him the truth and he was still saying no. (Lynna is the POV character)

Unique To Your Character Or Storyworld

Many of us have “tells” that tattle on the emotion we’re feeling or even trying to hide. Does your character have a tick or a specific mannerism that readers will associate with a specific emotion? Do they twist buttons, or pick at loose threads, or bite their lip? Are there any objects they carry or have at hand to help them stay calm or find motivation?

Sara wiped the blood off her sword and stood straight. “I’m fine.”

Judy perked up her antennae but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. “All clear, Captain.”

Using Subtext

The above beats, when used strategically, are very effective. But challenge yourself to go even deeper! Try using subtext to replace dialogue between people who know each other well. (read more about replacing dialogue with subtext here).

Steve caught Marcy’s gaze, tapped his watch, and lifted his brows. “It’s ten o’clock.”

Marcy threw him that saucy smile of hers, and then turned her back on him and kept right on talking.

Complex Beats

Try combining two of the above ideas to create a nuanced beat that really pulls readers in and grabs them by the throat. Go deeper than an internal sensory beat (a racing heart or trembling fingers) and also incorporate internal dialogue or metaphor to add depth and realism. The goal is for the reader to feel like they’re right there in the room, inside the character’s head, in their skin almost. Show what they’re feeling!

“There’s been some mistake. I’m Joe.” He straightened to his full height and looked down on the girl.

This example uses dialogue, an action beat, and subtext to show emotion.

Stacy’s heart pounded against her ribs like a wrongly-convicted prisoner behind bars “You’re Charlie. I heard you give that name to the maitre-D.”

This beat uses an internal sensation and a metaphor.

You’ll notice that I haven’t included stating emotions in any of the beats. That’s because in deep POV, using emotion words (most of the time) is considered telling. It’s fine if you’re writing limited third person, but the goal is to eliminate the author/narrator voice in deep POV. The following types of beats would be considered telling in deep POV, but perfectly acceptable in limited third person:

“Steve, you came!” Natalie bounced on her toes and clenched her hands against the nervous flutter.

Mark stamped his foot in anger. “I’m not going!”

What other beat-creation tips do you use when writing in deep POV?

4 Ways To Make Limited Third Person Into Deep POV

August 19, 2020 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 12 Comments

Are you writing (or wanting to write) in limited 3rd person POV or Deep POV? Many blogs write as though the these two popular fiction styles are the same and it muddies the water quite a bit leading to a great deal of confusion. Deep POV came out of limited third person, and they have some similarities, but they are in fact different in style and strategy.

Have you joined the free Facebook group Going Deeper With Emotions in Fiction where I share tips and teach about Deep POV?

Third person POV has a three different styles: omniscient third, objective third, and limited third. This distinction is important to understand the intent behind limited third person and how it differs from deep point of view.

Omniscient third person uses an all-knowing narrator who not only reports on facts but may interpret those facts through the perspective (thoughts) of any of the characters. Neil Gaiman’s The Graveyard Book and Lemony Snicket’s A Series Of Unfortunate Events is an example of omniscient third.
Objective third person is an all-knowing narrator who doesn’t go inside the character’s head much at all. The reader gets what the narrator observes. Hemingway wrote in objective third.
Limited third person limits the narrator voice to one character’s experience (thoughts) at a time and usually with a very limited cast of characters. The reader gets one character’s point of view (at a time), but the story is told by the author. Limited third has varied flexibility in how strictly the author limits themselves.

Deep POV developed out of limited third person. Deep POV aims to remove the author/narrator voice entirely and write AS the character to create an immersive experience for readers. Here are the top ways I can think of that make these writing styles different.

Author Voice

In close 3rd person, the author is telling the story about the character. The reader is brought in close to the character’s perspective through dialogue and thoughts (internal dialogue), but the author or another narrator-type voice is telling the story. Because of this, the author voice can share a good deal of information that the point of view character doesn’t know, wouldn’t think, etc. Some author will limit how much of this they do, but it’s still not deep POV.

In Deep POV, you’re writing AS the character instead of about them. The reader experiences the story as the character experiences the story to create an immersive effect. (Learn more about immediacy here) That means, all those author-voice bits become author intrusion or telling in deep POV. The reader can only know what the point of view character knows, sees, hears, intuits, learns, etc. even when not writing speech or internal dialogue. Every word written comes from the POV character’s perspective.

Deep POV takes show don’t tell to all new levels, and many storytelling strategies that are acceptable in close third are considered telling — like naming an emotion (telling) instead of showing what that emotion feels like. This includes filter words like: saw, heard, noticed, and felt (although some writing in limited third eliminate these as well). This includes thinking words like thought, remembered, hoped, reminisced, and wanted. (Read more about author intrusion in deep POV here.) This forces the reader to lean in and engage with the character emotionally.

In Close 3rd: Sherry was terrified of her boss. He always yelled at her during breaks when she wasn’t doing anything wrong.

In deep POV: The boss walked towards Sherry. She trembled. What did I do wrong this time?

Character Voice

In close 3rd person point of view, the character’s voice predominately comes through in dialogue and thoughts (internal dialogue). Everything else written comes from the author, so you’re not limited to only what the point of view character knows, their vocabulary or prior knowledge, etc.

In deep pov, you are limited by these things. If your character Charlotte has car trouble, you are limited in how you can describe the problem by Charlotte’s knowledge of cars. If she doesn’t know a spark plug from an air filter, she won’t be able to open the hood and identify the problem or know the names of any of the engine components. She’ll just know the car isn’t working. In limited 3rd person, the author can fill in those details, use terminology Charlotte doesn’t know.

In limited 3rd person, the reader isn’t inside the character’s head all the time. This gives the writer more freedom to describe things. In close third, Sally can trudge through the door of the tavern and the author/narrator voice describes the place as a seething cesspool of vice. Sally may or may not share this opinion — remember the author is telling the story not Sally.

In deep POV, the way Sally feels about the tavern, and her motivations for staying there, her goals for that scene, will dictate how SHE thinks/talks about it.

Speech and Thought Tags

He/she said. He/she thought. These are tags and in close third person you’re free to use these. In fact, because readers are more likely to just skim over these without being pulled from the story, you’re encouraged to use these over others such as, he exclaimed.

In deep POV, tags aren’t used at all in favour of beats. A beat is an action that keeps the story moving ahead, SHOWS how a character feels, and attributes dialogue or thoughts. Further, in deep POV there’s no italics for internal dialogue (thoughts) because the reader knows who’s thinking or talking through context. Deep POV allows you to write a story in third person POV (he/she), and use first person for thoughts (internal dialogue) if you want to. (Read 8 FAQs About Deep POV Here.)

“What are you doing?” David said. His wife’s clothes sat piled high in a suitcase on the bed. His fists clenched in anger. She can’t leave him!

“What are you doing?” David shoved Sarah’s suitcase off the bed, dumping her clothes on the floor. She can’t leave me!

Keeping Secrets

In close third POV, the character is allowed to think/know things that the reader doesn’t. Because the reader only gets selected glimpses into the character through speech and thought, the author can keep the character’s plans or expectations a secret. Conversely, the author can share details with the reader that the point of view character doesn’t know.

In deep POV, if the character knows something, the reader knows it. So, you can’t send a character into a situation with a plan fully formed without the reader also knowing the plan. Using an unreliable narrator in deep POV still works so long as the character is lying not to the reader, but to themselves.

Know Each Style’s Strengths And Weaknesses

Bravo if you’ve made it this far!! Here’s the golden ticket, my friends. There are positives and negatives with each writing style, and neither is right or wrong. You can use deep POV with first or third POV, past or present tense. It’s really more of a question of genre (some genres trend more towards one style over another) and personal preference.

Now, those seeking a fail-safe template clutch your pearls. You can write a novel entirely in deep POV, or third person limited, or use a combination of both styles as fits the story. My advice is to thoroughly understand the techniques of each style, the effects those techniques aim to create, and then use them to create the effect you’re looking for. Afterall, you can use a wrench to pound in a nail if you want to, if you’re making a point about something, but often it’s more efficient to use a hammer. Make these styles work FOR you, don’t be enslaved to either one.

I love this bit of advice from David Mamet:

Use deep POV in scenes that call for it. You might write your book in limited third and reserve deep POV for scenes that warrant a more introspective look. “Sara noticed he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring and wondered if he deliberately took it off before he met up with her.” That’s an interesting observation in a story and worthy of deeper exploration. Cut the distance between Sara and the reader. “His wedding ring was missing. Did he take it off before he got here?”

What other differences between close third and deep POV have you noticed?

8 Ways Voice Can Show Emotional Depth

July 6, 2020 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

How we say things communicates as much or more than what our words say. Deep point of view takes show-don’t-tell to new extremes, and I’ve found it helpful to pause and take things in from new angles and perspectives because there are a great many things we overlook or take for granted.

When we communicate in real life, we use quite a lot of non-verbal cues to convey emotion. We parse the meaning in speech from body language (gestures, expressions, etc.), from content, and voice.

Tone of voice is incredibly powerful and often overlooked in fiction. We’re tempted to shortcut things – he exclaimed, she whispered, she said anxiously. Sometimes our voices change unconsciously, but the change can be heard, and sometimes it’s intentional. When intentional, we can affect our voice to convey emotion or attempt to invoke it in another person.

Ever seen a young girl try and wheedle something from her father? This lilting, half-pleading, higher pitched voice is affected. “Daddy… Can I have…”

Think about the phrase “get out.” Said with a loud assertive voice – Get Out! You know the speaker wants those with them to leave. Get out said in a playful light tone might indicate surprise or incredulity.

How a voice sounds is about more than volume, but also consider speed, pauses, cadence, pitch, etc. Punctuation can also play a role in this by hinting at pauses, words trailing off, etc.

Try listening to this clip – just listen. Can you pick out the voice changes? The emotion in the both Ethan Hawke’s and Robin Williams’ voices?

Let’s have a deeper look at some aspects you can play with when adding voice details. Remember, you can mix and match these. Surprise readers with emotions they don’t see coming but that also give a greater depth to your characters.

Shaky Voice – This can affect both the pitch and volume. It can tattle on nervousness, overstimulation, exhaustion. It could also be described as a tremble where it might show being cold or afraid. There’s a rhythmic wobble to the voice, and it can affect the neck, jaw, tongue and face as well.

Change in Pitch – There are lots of emotions that might cause us to change the pitch of our voice. When there’s romantic interest, our pitch can change dramatically to show interest, deference, or vulnerability. A sudden higher pitch can signal nervousness or anxiety. Suddenly lowering the pitch can indicate vulnerability, a desire to hide.

Her lithe body pressed against his chest, her every curve flattened against his torso.

“Everything OK?” His voice cracked on the last word.

Can you guess at what this character ↑ is feeling? Just tone of voice.

Cadence – It’s when you choose to go louder or softer, faster or slower, etc. Monotone voices can show boredom, nervousness, lack of enthusiasm. Choosing to use a rising inflection at the end of every phrase, whether it’s actually a question, or not — is pretty annoying.

Volume – We get really quiet for a variety of reasons including feeling vulnerable or overwhelmed, nervous, anxious, tired, fearful, etc. We similarly get loud for good reason too, sometimes just to be heard over another noise, to clarify ourselves, frustration, nervous, angry, etc. Ever expected someone to be really mad at you and instead they go quiet? That’s super unnerving isn’t it. This is often paired with cadence, we get quiet and our speech speeds up, or our voice gets low and very quiet, etc.

Watch this clip from The Fresh Prince. Soooo many raw emotions. So many small signals of one emotion blending into another. Powerful!

Dry Throat/Loss of Voice/Hoarse Voice – These can be symptoms for a variety of things from innocuous allergies to very serious illnesses. However, when used to convey emotion, having a suddenly dry throat or hoarse voice conveys nervousness, anxiety, panic, fear, stress, etc. A common cause for a dry throat is constant swallowing from being anxious or nervous. Those characters who carry tension in the throat or jaw may struggle with this.

Articulation – How well a person can express themselves, or they express themselves differently can show lots of emotion. We typically skip over or omit in fiction the ums and ahs, however, those stumbles can show nervousness, anxiety, fear, vulnerability, excitement, surprise, overwhelmed, etc. Showing someone search for a word, or go around in circles trying to say something that’s simple – it all shows emotion.

Effective use of pauses, incorrect words, forget words, backtrack and reword things repeatedly, can show emotion. Combine this with a higher or lower pitch, with a sped up or slowed down speech, or even volume – have the voice get progressively quieter or louder. Mix and match these things for greater effect.

Stuttering/Mumbling – We stumble and mumble when we’re nervous, tired, apprehensive, afraid, etc. There’s a number of emotions this could show. We can trip over our words unsure of how exactly to express ourselves or become hyper aware of body language and self-correct endlessly when we sense our words are having a negative or undesired affect.

Listen to how Matt Damon’s voice gets lower, quieter, when he talks about the wrench and why he chose the wrench. Can you hear the vulnerability there? Hear the contrast in the lighter, almost playful-dismissive tone Damon uses juxtaposed against Williams’ even, radio-FM DJ voice. It carries conviction without being confrontational. Just listen to the changes in Damon’s voice near the end when it’s repeated – it’s not your fault. He goes from joking, defiant, angry, and then vulnerable and it’s all through his voice.

Intensity – You can use an assertive tone, a playful tone, an authoritative tone, a declarative tone. I follow two actors on social media who both like to post inspirational/motivational videos. One punctuates his speech with various noises, laughs, varied cadence, and comical expressions to get his point across. Always on point and way deeper than you expect. The other actor taps into an intensity that includes being loud, that includes faster speech, lots of cadence, and is punctuated by sharp movements and clipped words. You can show passion, excitement, frustration, redemptive anger, stress, sadness, joy, fear — all kinds of things by varying the intensity.

An Exercise

Next time you’re in a group or public place, listen for the changes in voices that signal emotions. Or do the same with a movie or TV scene. How does their voice change? How does the pitch, cadence, tone, tempo, articulation, etc. change to affect meaning in the speaker or those they’re speaking to.

Do you incorporate a character’s voice into your story to add emotional depth?

An Emotion-Critique Group For Intermediate Writers

July 5, 2020 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 1 Comment

Are you looking for a critique group that goes beyond the basics? A group who is committed, who has a bit of a thicker skin, who understands story structure, character arc, plot, tension, pace, etc. They might not always have these things nailed, but they know how important they are and want to craft the best stories they can. And they need/want help adding emotional depth to their stories.

And hey – maybe there are some advanced writers in this place too?

I have found that many conferences and workshops and books are targeted to the beginning writer. And that’s fair – there are a lot of people who want to write a novel or a book and are looking for help on how to get started. But, after I learned the basics, I searched for a group that would help me get to the next level and those were very hard to find.

Maybe you’ve published one or two books, maybe you have one or ten manuscripts in a drawer. You’ve been at this for a while and want to add emotional depth to your story and characters, but can’t find a crit group or the resources to help you focus on that. The beginner classes are no longer much help, but you don’t yet qualify for the professional groups like NINC.

The Deep Dive Author Club Membership

I created this membership last year and the founding members offered their own insights into how to make it even better. So, I’m launching this curated critique group to a wider audience.

This critique group will read up to 30 pages a week. We critique up to ten pages a week for the first three weeks of every month and take the last week a month off. You are expected to not only submit pages for review each week, but read and offer critiques to the others in your small group (three to four writers).

This is intense. It will be a lot of work. You need a teachable spirit. Sassy-pants and drama llamas will not be tolerated. The focus is on going deeper with emotions. Comments may be made towards structure and plot, but that will not be the focus. Deep POV will only highlight structural problems, it never fixes them.

Each small group will be created with an eye to grouping like-genre and experience together. You will also receive a critique from me each of the first three weeks. You’ll receive your file back with comments in the margin and also a Loom video of me going over the critique so you understand some of the why’s behind my comments.

On the off week each month, there will be a teaching video exclusive to the group that focuses on going deeper with emotions and deep point of view.

There are only 20 spaces available. I opened this up to the alumni of my 5 week deep pov masterclass last week, so I only have a few spots remaining. Learn more here: https://deepdiveauthorclub.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1031977

This group will open 2-3 times a year for new members. Current registration closes July 9th, 2020 (this is the deadline for submitting your first ten pages). Watch this page for dates of when it will open again, or join the free Facebook group Going Deeper Into Emotions In Fiction — details of new classes will always be posted there.

Writing Traumatic Memories Without Overwhelming Readers

June 9, 2020 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 12 Comments

This is Part One of a Two-Part Series. Find Post Two Here: 4 Tips For Writing Your Character’s PTSD And Trauma Memories

PTSD and trauma (both big “T” and small “t” trauma), affect our memory in different ways, and when writing in deep point of view, it becomes telling to label an emotion for readers. So, how do we write trauma memories realistically without overwhelming readers with gratuitous details and melodrama?

PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and trauma, either as current events or historical, are compelling elements in fiction. An essential tool then becomes backstory, memories, and flashbacks to show character arc and internal (and external) conflict.

Big “T” Trauma vs Small “t” Trauma

Trauma is a response to any event that overwhelms our ability to cope, causes feelings of helplessness and diminishes our ability to feel a full range of emotions. Keep that in mind, because anything can be traumatic depending on the individual and what they can cope with.

Big “T” trauma events cause an individual to feel they’re in mortal danger. Small “t” trauma events (a divorce for instance) are overwhelming for a short time. When crafting characters, don’t think of trauma as only big “T” trauma events like natural disasters, hostage taking, kidnapping, murder, rape, war, etc. Small “t” trauma can be just as devastating, and moreso for individuals who endure repeated small “t” trauma. A series of “t” events that pile up (like being bullied) can be trauma by a thousand cuts.

How Big “T” Trauma Affects The Brain

Small “t” trauma, because it lacks the life-threatening component, may be captured differently in memory. The character might remember what they were thinking for instance, where they were, what else they were doing that day. When asked to recall a traumatic event, brain imaging scans show that some parts of the brain light up and others go quiet. To oversimplify things, the part of the brain focused on survival is prioritized and the parts of the brain focused on communication, analytical thinking, etc. are slowed or at the least not prioritized.

People may react first without really thinking about their actions when when fight, flight or freeze is triggered. I walked five miles for help, but don’t remember walking. The ground crunched when I walked, every step on broken glass, but I couldn’t think of why it the ground would sound like that (see account below). The part of the brain that labels things, that rationalizes or understands the WHY behind the things we do, shuts down. Of course there are accounts where some were able to maintain a presence of mind and think their way out of a problem, but their ability to do that in life-threatening circumstances is remarkable.

With PTSD, once the trauma memories are triggered (with or without flashbacks), the ability to remember and learn is diminished. I’ve sat through countless martial arts classes, but if I’m triggered while I’m there, I won’t remember anything that was taught. Nada. My brain is too focused on finding and protecting me from threat. I’ll be a yellow belt FOREVER lol.

Focus on particular details, specific sensory details, that you want readers to tune in to, that will create that immersive visceral effect you’re looking for. Rather than trying to capture everything.

How Age Affects Trauma Memories

When big “T” trauma isn’t experienced until adulthood, likely the character will have support systems in place, already developed the coping mechanisms and neural connections that will help them respond and hopefully overcome whatever they’ve survived. Things a child might not have access to or developed yet.

This means the trauma memories will be different between children and adults. They may have different priorities, different things may be considered overwhelming. This will affect how they remember things, and which details the brain looks to other sources to fill in. Memory can return in bits and pieces over time.

The internal dialogue around a trauma memory will be different depending on how old the character was when the trauma occurred. One place I’ve seen this really illustrated is in accounts of the Holocaust, because there’s been a large effort to capture those memories in the words of those who lived them. Those survivors who were adults when it happened, they remembered different details in different ways than those who were children when it happened.

How Trauma Memory Works

A trauma memory isn’t recorded in continuous action like a film. It’s recorded in bits with skips and blanks. Writing a memory from a trauma experience that reads like a news report will overwhelm readers and isn’t how memory works at all.

Memory is flexible and fluid. With time some elements fade and others come to the fore. This is the problem with prosecuting rape in court, because a victim might retell the experience immediately following the event one way and then have a slightly different story (leave some details out or become unsure of small points, remember new details) six months later in court which then makes the memory and the victim seem unreliable by judges and juries.

Memory Seeks Context, Continuity, and Closure

Human brains crave beginnings, middles, and ends to things. Context. Continuity. Closure. So, what a victim remembers immediately after an incident, their brain may purposely forget because it’s overwhelming. Or, details they couldn’t handle initially or weren’t initially aware of may emerge as they’re able to deal with the trauma in time.

The Netflix series Unbelieveable, while incredibly hard to watch, does a good job of capturing the effects of memory on trauma over an assortment of characters.

Author Rene Gutteridge described her experience being in/near the Oklahoma City bombings.

“The building had a gaping hole. Cars and trees were on fire. Ash-covered people wondered aimlessly like zombies. Police, fire and ambulances came rushing to the scene.”

But Gutteridge admits that asking her to describe the event has her tapping into coverage she saw after the fact, not her own personal experience of it. Her brain needed context and continuity, so the news coverage fills in the gaps in her own memory. In deep pov, we don’t want the news coverage, we want the lived experience of the event. What was it like in the moment? She then shared her memory of her lived experience of the event:

“One of the most vivid things I recall is the crunch, crunch, crunch sound of glass as I ran to the south side of the building to get around the fires. I didn’t take a step that didn’t put glass under my feet, but at the time I couldn’t figure out what it was that I was running on…I remember all that paper floating down from the sky and the urge to gather it up because that’s what you do when people lose their important papers—you gather it up for them.

Hours after the bomb went off, sirens still took up all the silence…Did I see death? Blood and gore? The most desperate moments of my fellow human beings? I did. I had to have. There was no way for me to miss it. Yet I have one or two small, vivid images of that sort of thing.”

Do you see the difference?

Recap: Trauma memory is captured in bits and pieces with gaps and skips in time. Our brains will fill in the gaps because it seeks continuity, context, and closure. Details remembered may change over time. Big “T” trauma memory may not register why the character is acting a certain way or what they’re experiencing in the urgency to escape or survive. PTSD memory is covered in part two, but it is not like trauma memory but is frozen in time.

This is Part One of a Two-Part Series. Find Post Two Here: 4 Tips For Writing Your Character’s PTSD And Trauma Memories

Are you using trauma memories in your stories?

Been told you should learn Deep Point Of View? Had an editor or critique partner tell you to “go deeper” with the emotions in your fiction? Looking for a community of writers seeking to create emotional connections with readers? Check out the Going Deeper With Emotions In Fiction Facebook group.

Using Defense Mechanisms To Create Emotional Depth In Fiction

April 30, 2020 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

This is part two to a post I wrote last week for Writers Helping Writers on giving characters emotional context.

Your character has a reason for feeling the way they do and reacting the way they do. In deep point of view, everything is filtered through your POV character’s perspective. What does this situation mean to THAT character, RIGHT NOW, based on their own unique past experiences, prejudices, fears/concerns, priorities, and goals (emotional context)?

We know that emotions serve a specific purpose – they’re always trying to keep us safe, protect us, or inform us of a concern. In last week’s post I talked about the kids at the table. Here’s what’s important to know – not every kid at the table represents an emotion. Some of the kids at the table will be defense mechanisms. Everyone has defense mechanisms they default to, some are chosen involuntarily, some we aren’t even consciously aware of. But all of that will show the reader a lot about who the character is and what’s important to them.

Defense mechanisms (or coping mechanisms) are emotions or behaviours that step in when we are faced with something that’s uncomfortable, overwhelming, that creates cognitive dissonance, or leaves us feeling vulnerable/exposed. Some defense mechanisms are learned (often in childhood), some are involuntary, and some are unconscious.

Let’s unpack that a bit. Emotions that are uncomfortable or overwhelming, or leave us vulnerable or feeling fearful will usually force the character to DO something to resolve the discomfort. Whether they choose to avoid the problem, channel it into exercise, fantasize about what they should have said, or rationalize why doing nothing is the right path, they will DO something to feel better. They will DO something to feel as though they’ve regained control of the situation or their emotions.

Cognitive dissonance is when we simultaneously have two or more conflicting beliefs and act against one. Your character meets this really great guy, she really likes him — but he got angry once and hit her. Does she marry him? There are two opposing ideas of safety at play here. Will she choose to remain alone (which she believes makes her vulnerable), or somehow rationalize, intellectualize, or even repress the violence? How does she make these opposing beliefs somehow appear to agree with each other?

Dig Down For The Primary Emotion

Your reader won’t ever understand why your character is mad if you don’t know. You might become frustrated that your beta readers aren’t getting it, but more likely you’ll fall back into telling to get the point across. Resist!! Primary emotions are emotional reactions to things that are instinctive or knee-jerk. Secondary emotions are the thinking reactions to primary emotions. Learn more about that here. Defense mechanisms can behave like a secondary emotion, but don’t be fooled.

A Google search might bring up a variety of lists of primary emotions and if that’s helpful to you that might be a place to start. There isn’t really a template here or definitive list to go by to tell you if something is a primary or secondary emotion.

Many many emotions can be either a primary or secondary emotion. Fear could be a primary emotion: Little dog has a barking fit and the character looks up from her weeding to see a bear in the yard. The bear moves towards her little dog so she picks up her trowel and pail, stands up and starts cursing and banging and yelling and waves her arms around at the bear. What makes her decide to behave that way? Fear is the primary emotion fuelling her reaction and then anger kicks in that the bear would threaten her dog.

The anger is a secondary emotion – it’s a reaction to the fear. But if all the readers know is that she’s trying to scare off the bear (which might seem irrational), they won’t understand WHY. If the readers don’t know that the reason she’s doing it is fear, because she lost other dogs to a bear not fear for her own safety, they won’t connect with her struggle.

Afterwards, the adrenaline has worn off, her pup is safe and the bear is gone. The fear won’t go away, it’s uncomfortable, it’s unsettling, she’s trembling, feels out of control, unsafe. She returns to her gardening like it never happened. She doesn’t choose to sit with the fear, or let it dissipate, she ignores it (defense mechanism).

Suppressing the fear should have consequences. Will it make her twitchy? Will she decide she no longer wants to garden? Will she put up a fence? Will she buy a gun? What will that suppressed emotion force her to do to make it soften back, to sit quietly at the table again?

Smoking can be a defense mechanism, and if it is — you can use it to SHOW how your character is feeling or what they’re avoiding feeling. Excessive exercise is another defense mechanism that can help you show readers that the character is struggling for control or trying to sort something out. A character who actively avoids a particular person or situation does that for a reason and it can create emotional depth for readers to understand why they do that. Alcohol and sleeping a lot are both defense mechanisms that attempt to numb emotions — show the WHY behind that behaviour.

I’ve created a list of 22 different defense mechanisms to help spark your imagination or provide a label for further research as well as a chart to help you brainstorm and organize how you’re using emotions and defense mechanisms. You can download it for FREE in the Resource Hub.

What defense mechanisms are you using in your current WIP? What emotions are they avoiding or trying to feel in control of?

Been told you should learn Deep Point Of View? Had an editor or critique partner tell you to “go deeper” with the emotions in your fiction? Looking for a community of writers seeking to create emotional connections with readers? Check out the Free Resource Hub and then join the Going Deeper With Emotions In Fiction Facebook group.