Deep Point of View Archives - Lisa Hall-Wilson

How To Write Fear Authentically Even If You Don’t Write Thrillers

October 31, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

Boo! What better day to write about the body language of fear than the scariest day of the year!

A Deeper Look At Fear

Fear can range from mild to paralyzing. What’s interesting though is that fear caused by a real immediate threat is rarely paralyzing. Our bodies and minds instinctually engage in a race for survival. Usually the fears that can leave us paralyzed are imagined (what ifs).

Chronic stress is a low-intensity fear response to worry, daily insecurity, anxiety, etc. The more I learned about the body language of fear, the more I realized that fear is an emotion that every novelist should know more about because it’s laced in virtually every character arc ever written.

**Sorry if you thought this post was only for horror/thriller authors.** smile **not sorry**

4 Components Of Fear

Fear can be partly instinct, partly learned, partly taught, partly imagined. Pain causes instinctive fear – survival instinct. Falling is an instinctive fear present even in newborns. Past experiences can create learned fears – a young child will learn to fear bunk beds if they had a friend fall out of one and seriously injure themselves. Social context can teach fear of a particular person (avoid your uncle – don’t ever be alone with him) or various forms of racism. The fear of public speaking is largely imagined, but what’s really at stake is reputation, identity, self-worth.

What blend of fear does your character feel?

“Wendy? Darling? Light, of my life. I’m not gonna hurt ya. I’m just going to bash your brains in.”
― Stephen King, The Shining

The Role Of Intuition

Humans have this wonderful gift of intuition. The problem is we don’t listen to it often enough. We perceive a threat (could have been body language, past experience, a friend’s experience, an article we read a year ago) but we discount that perception in favor of what we can see. When you take that admitted predisposition and place a character in a situation that feels threatening but they can’t see anything threatening the fear is ramped up.

Gavin De Becker in his book The Gift of Fear talks about a woman waiting for an elevator. The doors open and inside is a young man in a suit who leers at her and bobs his eyebrows suggestively. Given the statistics about violence against women, her own past experiences and those of her friends, the isolated location, etc. she’s not crazy for perceiving this man as a threat. But rather than obey her intuition and wait for the next elevator, she’ll get into the sound-proof steel box – because he looks OK.

We allow ourselves to disregard our intuition if we can’t explain it logically – he doesn’t look like a rapist.

In fiction, the role of intuition — especially if the character ignores it, is a great device to show the reader unease and discomfort and tip them off that something bad is about to or could happen. The conflict between internal dialogue and physiological response can be juxtaposed with what’s expressed outwardly.

“It is understandable that the perspectives of men and women on safety are so different – men and women live in different worlds…most men fear getting laughed at or humiliated by a romantic prospect while women fear rape and death.” Gavin De Becker, The Gift of Fear

Answering The Why Question

Remember, we have to answer the why question for readers so we work backwards. Why is your character afraid? What is it exactly they’re afraid of and what’s at stake? What do they stand to lose?

Don’t just go through the motions on this. Really dig deep for these answers because the why is how you show the emotion. In deep point of view, we avoid naming emotions so you’ll have to show your reader the excitement or fear through body language, physiology, internal dialogue and spoken dialogue.

This is a guest post for Writers In The Storm blog. Read the full blog post here.

Registration is open now for my 8 week course Method Acting For Writers: Learn Deep Point Of View Using Emotional Layers. Registration closes in THREE DAYS!! Don’t wait!

How To Write About PTSD In Deep Point Of View

October 23, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 7 Comments

We’re always looking to create dynamic characters who are faced with insurmountable (and often life-threatening) obstacles. Characters who are at war with themselves in addition to any external conflict just makes good fiction, and one popular or common internal conflict writers use is post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

The problem is writers research symptoms and run with it. There’s so much more to PTSD than flashbacks that can add emotional layers, depth, and connection for readers.

Why Write About PTSD?

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) has been called shell shock and historically was lumped in with ‘hysteria’ for women. You can research this mental illness, the causes, and the symptoms, (here’s a great link), but I’m more interested in helping you write it with accuracy.

Giving characters a traumatic past and an ongoing condition that hinders their ability to move on is great for character arc if you can pull it off. Otherwise it can come off sounding trite. The character struggling with PTSD is facing overwhelming odds, and any character who stands up to a bully of any kind (even when it’s a mental illness) is someone readers will cheer for.

Recalling Traumatic Events

It’s true that flashbacks can happen with PTSD. What’s really happening with PTSD is that your mind is stuck and forces your body to relive a traumatic event as though it’s happening in real time. So whether the PTSD was caused in a combat situation, a hospital room, or a dark bedroom – your mind convinces your body that you’re right back there again.

Only the most severe cases have flashbacks though. What might be fun to play with is the person discovering their PTSD. They don’t know what’s going on with their bodies, and unless they learn to be very self-reflective won’t be able to figure out what’s wrong.

Who consciously relives traumatic events on purpose? Nobody. But I see this all the time in fiction — as though that’s the only way PTSD manifests. More likely, those memories are shoved to the very back of the mind and actively avoided, and numbed when avoidance isn’t possible. Instead, show the coping mechanisms used to control the symptoms or turn their mind off (escapism, fantasy, porn, drugs, alcohol). Show symptoms of anxiety (sweating, twitchy/jumpy, checking exits, feeling of being trapped – needing to get out/escape) and then send them for another lap around the block even though they’ve already done five more than usual.

The emotions and physical symptoms left by the trauma are so uncomfortable your character will proactively seek a way to get control, but they will avoid thinking about the why. Try showing the emotions and discomfort and leave the memories to be discovered like a bread crumb trail in the woods.

Show The War Going On Inside Your Character

When PTSD is triggered, an adrenaline rush hits with something close to the force the traumatic event caused. The unconscious mind is triggered and it alerts the body to imminent danger — except your conscious mind is aware there’s no danger at all — so you’re at war with yourself quite literally. It will seem to come out of nowhere or can build up slowly to a crashing crescendo.

While part of your mind is hitting the red alert button, the other part of your mind is consciously grappling with your body’s response to the perceived threat and regain control of the physical response. How would this look to an observer? The response will trigger the survival instinct of: fight, flight, or freeze. Will they come out angry, shouting, defensive? Will they try to escape, come up with crazy nonsensical excuses to leave or simply not come after they’ve promised to? Will they stay where they are because running or fighting isn’t going to help them survive – subterfuge, avoidance and compliance will? Will they stay at the party even though they look like they’re being tortured every second of it?

What Does PTSD Look Like?

The physical symptoms are easy to show; just write what’s happening to their bodies. Let internal dialogue focus on their awareness of being irrational, that there’s no threat, yet they’re unable to feel safe. They’ll struggle to control, to conceal, to minimize what others can see. Get it? I’m a BIG fan of Deep POV so I focus on showing the primary emotions through physiology and internal dialogue and showing secondary emotions through outward actions and spoken dialogue.

The Netflix series Jessica Jones is about a woman who struggles with PTSD but won’t admit it. She chooses to numb her emotions with alcohol, anger, and by pushing everyone away. She’s hard to like. But we can cheer for her because every episode she manages to put that aside long enough to help someone who can’t help themselves — she puts herself in danger even though she doesn’t want to because she knows she’s the only one who can help. But the PTSD and addiction is like an anchor everywhere she goes.

PTSD Is About Minimizing Triggers

Those managing PTSD will have a proactive (but not necessarily healthy) strategy to manage symptoms. Some methods might be subtle while others are extreme. Know what your character’s primal goal is when they’re triggered. Is it safety? Is it survival? Is it escaping? Have them seek that out at all costs.

They could have a mantra they recite to control their thoughts. They might have a safe person, someone they trust to watch their backs in new or upsetting situations. Grounding techniques involve consciously cataloguing why the what-ifs won’t happen (There are two exits, It’s a public space, etc.). The slow removal of their dependence on these management techniques is a great way to show growth.

Those who know what their triggers are will actively avoid situations that might set them off. This is a potential for conflict – force them into a situation where they’re uncomfortable, where they feel threatened or unsafe. Put them in new situations. I wasn’t aware that exercise fatigue mimicked my PTSD symptoms, so I was triggered by a jerk at the gym and couldn’t feel it coming on because I was in the middle of a workout. The times when you’re triggered without warning are the worst. Being blindsided by it sets you back days, weeks, even months.

Give Them A Tell

Self-awareness is critical, it’s a hyperawareness often because if you can see it coming or starting you can get off the crazy train before it really gets going. Your unconscious mind will get the ball rolling after a trigger: I’m not safe. I’m not safe. You have to be aware of that mental shift and think your way out of it but more often what tips you off is physical symptoms.

I have a couple of tells that always tip me off: blushing and sweating—profuse sweating disproportionate to the environment. Does your character have a physical symptom they’ve trained themselves to watch for? Are they suddenly jumpy or have an intense urge to leave no matter what?

They’ll want to hide what’s going on because it makes others uncomfortable (people stare, they avoid the character, or treat them differently). Show the character’s awareness of the stigma, and let them fail from time to time.

Blindside Your Character

You can be blindsided by a trigger at any point. A situation that’s been fine a thousand other times can trigger you that one day. This is a great device to save for a pivotal conflict.

It’s like a two-by-four to the head. Show their emotional wounds bleeding all over the floor and have them keep going anyway. Show them growing stronger, trusting people again against their instincts, forgiving themselves because they couldn’t get a hold of themselves again, etc. Let the whole process be messy, two steps forward and one step back. The stories that end in a pretty bow and leave everyone “cured” simply aren’t authentic.

Have a question you’d like to ask about writing PTSD in fiction with realism? What’s the most compelling portrayal of PTSD in fiction you’ve seen so far?

4 Tricks To Keeping Fight Scenes Authentic

October 17, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 1 Comment

I wrote about writing action or fight scenes in deep point of view a while ago, but I got a reader question asking for more specific advice. To deliver the best punch possible, be specific!

Let’s dive a little deeper at the techniques and stylistic choices you can make to add a punch to your action scenes in deep point of view. How much internal dialogue you use will be determined by your POVC’s (point of view character’s) personality, but also the genre you’re writing in. Sword and sorcery novels will be expected to have less internal dialogue in action scenes than paranormal romance for instance.

All things being equal, what are some of the stylistic choices you can make when writing an action scene?

Use Short Quick Words

Hit, punch, jerk, stab, strike, slice — these are all words that sound fast. Compare that with words like push, gouge, impale, run-through, pummel — these are all well-used words in action scenes too, but they don’t sound fast. It’s the hard consonant sound that can get onomatopoeia working for you. That’s not to say don’t use words with longer soft consonant sounds, but it’s something to keep in mind.

Specificity

Instead of having your POVC strike an opponent in the face, have them crack an eye socket. You don’t have to be graphic or gory, but if you’re able to describe with more precision what’s happening it’s easier for readers to picture what’s happening.

She swung wildly with her knife.

She swung for his eyes with her knife.

One makes you wince and the other doesn’t quite engage you the same way, right. Also, keep in mind the relative fighting experience of your POVC. Someone who’s a trained killer will know precisely what organs, joints, or bones they’re aiming for, what damage they’re aiming to create, and how debilitating that injury will be. The housewife assaulted as she’s getting into her van in a parking garage will be fighting for her life. She might not be able to use the same specificity as the trained assassin.

Keep It Short

Most action scenes are short. You can’t maintain that breakneck pace without readers checking out just to breathe. If you’re writing a prolongued battle scene (whether it’s with fists, swords, or words) remember to give the reader a chance to breathe. Move the fight to a new location – the argument moves to another room, another player enters the scene, you get the idea. This also gives you a chance to change or ratchet up the emotional tension in the scene.

Keep Skills Realistic

If your POVC is female fighting a male, make sure to explain the difference in size, weight, height, wingspan, etc. Your female character can’t be equal to men in EVERY circumstance. There are physiological differences you’ll need to either explain away or compensate for.

A fight to the death should be dirty. Too many fight scenes employ these half-hearted, polite swings and head butts. If your life is on the line, you’re going to draw blood, break bones, there won’t be any holds barred.

A writing teacher rightly criticized one of my fight scenes between two trained soldiers (one more experienced, heavier, and taller than the other) as being too tame. The one who was overpowered in my story at some point stops relying on fancy moves and is simply trying to survive. Would you hesitate to gouge out someone’s eyes if that was the only way you could think to survive an encounter?

Not every genre will require the gory details, but keep it as authentic as possible. Remember, you are not telling this fight scene, your POVC is. How would they see this fight? What won’t they do? What would be their instinct at first? How far would they go to survive? The fallout of these scenes can be very powerful, but the outcome feels fake if the battle to get there wasn’t bloody.

In your current WIP, how much experience does your POVC have with fighting? How would they handle a physical encounter with someone bigger and stronger than them? How would they rationalize a physical encounter with someone they overpower?

I am doing a free 5 Day Deep Point Of View Challenge on Facebook starting October 22. It’ll be in a closed Facebook group. You can sign up for the waiting list here so you don’t miss out when I have all the details put together.

4 Ways To Replace Dialogue With Subtext Even New Writers Can Master

October 12, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 1 Comment

Once I realized what subtext was and the different ways I could use it effectively, it became a go-to tool for deep point of view. I had a reader ask: Can subtext replace dialogue and how would that look?

Subtext is silent communication. It’s the body language (posture, facial expressions, gestures), tone of voice — all the ways we send signals and communicate without using words. Subtext can add a layer of realism and authenticity to our stories and is a necessary technique when using deep point of view.

Subtext Is Often Added In Rewrites

It’s hard to effectively use subtext in a first draft. In order to use subtext, you have to really know your characters. If I can’t get subtext to work for me, it’s usually because I don’t know the characters involved well enough.

Subtext is art more than mechanics. It’s the polish to the story so to speak. Once I really understand the story arc, the emotional arc of each POVC and the goal of each scene, then I go back and tighten things up for the subtext. In a first draft, I’m more likely to just write what the character’s thinking. Subtext is about what isn’t said, right. So the rewrites is where you can objectively study a scene and decide if using subtext would add authenticity or tension for readers.

Leave Them Hanging

One trick that’s effective with subtext is to take a question and answer exchange in a scene and cut one or the other. Have a character ask a question and then cut the answer — use facial expressions or body language (subtext) to answer. Or, cut the question (use subtext) and let the character answer what they think the question was. Yes, they might get it wrong. We get it wrong all the time in real life. Let that add tension, conflict, and complexity to your story.

Done strategically, this is very effective at showing relationship, familiarity, or a shared history/goals.

Here’s an example from the WIP I have out with beta readers right now.

She picked up the first stone between her hands. She turned it over in her hands and stared at Ulrik. Would make a sizable dent in a man’s head.

“Get to it, Felora.” He rested his hand on the handle of his sword. Easy way or hard way?

Were her expressions so transparent? She needed to work on that.

One of my all-time favorite movies is Dirty Dancing. There’s this scene between Johnny and Baby where they have this really personal, vulnerable conversation and it gets awkward, he’s annoyed. She asks him to dance.

The entire dance is subtext. It’s question and answer over and over as the intimacy escalates. I don’t use many romance examples, but I couldn’t resist here.

Facial Expression Gold

Watch the people around you, particularly people you’re close with, and see how they use their facial expressions to communicate. Here’s an example:

Sarah waited to Bobby to open the trunk and then set her bags of groceries in the car. She wiped her forehead with the back of her wrist and glared at the searing sun overhead.

Bobby shut the trunk. They both turned to get into the car when an elderly woman hobbled past trying to wrangle three overflowing shopping bags, a walking cane, and her purse.

Sarah glanced at Bobby but he hadn’t noticed the old woman’s plight. Sarah tipped her head to the side.

Bobby’s eyes narrowed. She repeated the gesture and he finally looked at the old woman for a moment. He shrugged and opened his car door.

Sarah cleared her throat. Bobby looked over the roof of the car at her. Sarah tipped her head towards the old woman again and owled her eyes. Do something.

He straightened and his brows shot up. What did she want him to do?

She slammed her hand on the top of the car. His jaw tensed, but he shut his car door and approached the old woman to see if he could help.

We all have a variety of go-to expressions to communicate questions and answers.

Something That Can’t Be Said

Do you have a scene where two characters are talking, but they can’t mention what they’re talking about? Or maybe they don’t want to acknowledge what they’re really talking about? Sometimes we all seek a little bit of deniability, right.

Maybe this is a long-standing argument — who’s going to take out the trash this week. Maybe there are others present who don’t/can’t know what’s really being talked about? Mom and Dad arranging a little one on one time with little ears still in the room for instance.

In these situations, subtext can be the whole other conversation happening that’s unrelated to what’s actually being said. These are fun to write because they’re challenging and rewarding when you can pull it off.

I love this scene from Captain America: The First Avenger. Steve Roger’s plane is going down, it’s a suicide mission and he contacts Peggy one last time to say goodbye. But instead they talk about rescheduling a dance at the Stork Club. It’s heartbreaking to watch.

Backstory Kills Subtext

Backstory serves you, the writer, better than the reader often. Remember, backstory answers one question and leaves the reader with two more. It gets dripped into the story. Save the backstory drips for exposition or internal dialogue. Keep the backstory out of your subtext.

When subtext is being used in place of dialogue, keep it snappy and the pace moving. Keep the internal dialogue to a minimum if you can. If the dialogue is more of a mix between spoken dialogue and subtext, you’ll need the internal dialogue for readers to follow along.

Do you think you’ll use subtext in place of dialogue? Where in your current WIP would this add a deeper layer of meaning or authenticity for readers?

How To Use Beats To Keep Long Dialogue Passages Interesting Even If There’s No Action

October 10, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

There are times in a manuscript where your characters engage in a longer dialogue exchange. Ideally, those dialogue passages are where important information is revealed for readers. In deep point of view, we want to avoid using dialogue tags (he said, she said) but additionally we don’t want readers to lose track of who’s talking, where the characters are (setting: time and place), or how the POVC (point of view character) feels as the dialogue is happening.

How do you keep long dialogue passages interesting even if there’s no action?

Tags vs Beats vs Stage Directions

We want to avoid dialogue tags in deep point of view and instead use beats (bits of action) to attribute speech. More advanced writers will look to up their game from simply using stage directions to using meaningful beats that move the story forward.

Even the best dialogue can fall flat without effective beats weaving in character thoughts, feelings and/or backstory. Beats can:

help vary the pace
keep the characters alive in our readers’ minds – prevents longer dialogue passages from becoming just talking heads to our readers
attributes dialogue
and identifies the POVC in any scene.

Body Language And Beats

Good beats let the reader in on how the POVC feels about the conversation through body language. Is the character fidgeting while talking, picking at their nails, avoiding eye contact, bouncing their knee, scribbling or doodling instead of taking notes, or plucking at a loose thread? What are they doing with their body that would reveal how they feel or what they’re really thinking? What can the POVC observe and assume about the people they’re talking to?

If they’re not face-to-face with the person they’re talking to, what are they doing that the other person can’t see?

Tone of voice is one element that’s often under-used in these situations. Does their voice get softer or quieter (not the same thing), louder, do they emphasize a certain word or phrase, mumble, begin to talk faster, do they make any noises that would signal delight or frustration?

Whatever emotion they’re feeling as the dialogue progresses, what are they feeling and how does that emotion affect their voice? Someone who’s increasingly upset will grow more tense, rigid, clench their stomach or their jaw — how does that change their voice? If you can really dial into that emotion and how it affects their voice or posture, you can show the reader how your character feels without having to resort to telling.

Utilizing Beats Of Other Characters

I looked at one mss for a student whose POVC was stuck in a bed–they couldn’t move. If your POVC isn’t moving or able to move while talking, is anyone else in the room talking or moving? Can you include some internal dialogue about the movements being distracting, loud, whatever? These don’t have to be long interruptions or pauses in the dialogue.

What other ambient noises could be noticed? Other patrons in a coffee shop? The clink of dishes being cleared from a table? The garbage being emptied? If your POVC isn’t distracted by these noises, could the person they’re talking to turn to notice?

“What are you talking about? I never said that.” Shawn shook his head and looked out the window instead of facing her.

“You did so.” Sherry leaned back for the server to set down their plates of spaghetti. “Now you’re mad I changed my plans because I took you at your word?”

He snorted and pushed his plate away.

“So now I’m selfish for wanting to visit my mom?”

“You’re being irrational.”

“Irrational?” The people in the booth behind Sherry got up from their table and left. “You want to see irrational?” Her voice grew sharp and shrill. “I can do irrational.”

Do you see how in this small bit of dialogue, the beats move the story ahead as much as the actual dialogue? Make every beat count. Don’t just add random action for the sake of attributing dialogue, make your beats work harder than that.

Internal Dialogue As Beats

This is always a great way to attribute dialogue, but be careful inserting thoughts where fast-paced dialogue is supposed to happen. Having “thoughty” characters in a tense action-dialogue scene can undermine the tension. Be strategic.

Someone who’s under intense emotional stress might not be able to filter their thoughts, what they think will come out their mouths. In a situation where a character needs to make quick decisions, having them pause to consider their options without consequence will belie whatever tension you’re trying to create. The internal dialogue must not slow down the pace of the scene. Quick one-word thoughts might be all that’s needed – Run!

Avoid Stage Directions

When choosing beats, try to see the scene from the POVC’s point of view. Don’t just have the character move so the reader knows who’s talking. A beat can be a physical action or gesture or it could be a snippet of internal dialogue. Here’s a snippet where stage directions are used instead of meaningful beats.

“Welcome to Found. Can I show you something?”

The man turned and shrugged. “I had to see it one last time before it goes to a new home.”

Catherne’s mouth hung open a moment. “Mr. Silas?”

“It’s just Silas.” He waved his glass at the room. “I love your gallery. You should advertise more.”

Catherine stared. He had the most beautiful green eyes. She cleared her throat. “My source said your collection was in Europe.” Her source had also told her the painting had been an impulse buy and was kept in storage.

He shrugged. “When I discovered the broker was in Boston, I had to come and visit.”

Catherine smiled. “Let me show you around.”

Let’s look at how I updated that snippet to remove the stage directions and use more meaningful beats.

His dark curls, more of a messed-on-purpose coif, framed his face like a broken halo. She’d bet good money he’d never thrown a hay-bale in his life. “Welcome to Found. Can I show you something?” His suit fit like it was tailored and it framed his physique well.

He nodded at the painting next to him. “I had to see it one last time before it went to a new home.”

Her brows shot up. “Mr. Silas?”

“It’s just Silas.” He waved his glass at the room as though dismissing her formality. “I love your gallery. You should advertise more.”

He had the most beautiful green eyes. Focus Cat! She cleared her throat. “My source said your collection was in Europe.”

“It was an impulse buy. It’s just been sitting in a warehouse, so I thought it was time to stop hoarding my collection and let others enjoy it too.” He lifted a shoulder and winked. “When I discovered the broker and buyer were in Boston, I had to come and visit.”

Heat crept into her cheeks. Was he flirting? “Let me show you around.”

Do you see any difference in terms of understanding how Catherine feels and interprets what’s going on? Now you’re not just observing the scene taking place, like someone in a movie theatre, but (hopefully) you feel like you’re more in the action. You’re seeing the story through her eyes.

Every Beat Should Move The Story Forward

What would distract the POVC or catch their eye/ear? Why does it catch their attention and what can that show readers about how they’re feeling? Are they anxious? What sorts of things would an anxious person notice or take stock of: where are the exits, who’s looming, who looks like they might be out of control, etc.

Are they afraid of being overheard? What would they do/notice to ensure privacy?

Conversely, what would someone whose heart is breaking overlook or fail to notice? Would they be easily distracted or have laser focus on whatever is destroying their world in that moment? Don’t undermine the tension and emotion in the moment to tell the reader what’s going on, because you can always have another character point out what the POVC isn’t noticing. Lower your voice! People are staring. The POVC themselves may be aware of other things going on, but pushes that awareness to the side.

Gah! I’m out of space. Listen, I’m doing a free 5 Day Deep Point Of View Challenge on Facebook staring October 22. It’ll be in a closed Facebook group. You can sign up for the waiting list here so you don’t miss out when I have all the details put together.

Do you notice an improvement when you aim for beats over stage directions? Do you prefer to use dialogue tags even when writing in deep point of view?

3 Tips On Writing Internal Conflict With Emotional Punch

September 20, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 4 Comments

Does your main character have a line in the sand, a personal boundary or belief they will not violate? This internal conflict is central stories written in deep point of view often. What happens if the character violates their belief or boundary? What would they sacrifice in order to avoid crossing that line? What would either action show readers about what kind of person they are?

In Mission Impossible: Fallout near the very beginning of the movie, Tom Cruise’s character Ethan Hunt draws a line in the sand that defines his actions for the rest of the movie. Benji is anxious about a deal they’re trying to make happen and Hunt turns to him and says, “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

That line in the sand isn’t just about Benji. Hunt means it for anyone he cares about or works with. If he feels responsible for you, he won’t let anything happen to you. (Nothing permanent, anyway.)

In the movie Law Abiding Citizen with Jamie Fox and Gerard Butler, the goal of Butler’s antagonist is to convince Fox’s lawyer character: I don’t make deals with criminals. That’s the line in the sand.

I’ll never be hungry again! – Scarlet O’Hara

What Does Internal Conflict Look Like?

Internal conflict is the experience of having opposing psychological beliefs, desires, impulses or feelings — when you believe one thing and act in a different way. If you want to Google it and learn more, you’ll want to search for cognitive dissonance. This internal conflict is often a battle between what we know and what we feel. Most of the time, people crave consistency, so this internal conflict is when we’re basically at war with ourselves but it’s how we justify our behavior or correct course. This can lead to irrational behavior.

People struggling with internal conflict are squeamish. They might turn pale or lose color. They might feel dizzy or lightheaded. They might tremble or even pass out. Most of these reactions are observable, so another character could comment on them. A character in deep point of view can share the feeling of being dizzy, trembling, feeling lightheaded, queasy or nauseous.

People justify their actions, often audibly. Consider the guy who finds the courage to talk to or ask a girl out and she brushes him off. He’ll have this inner conflict, knowing he hasn’t really lost anything and feeling rejected or unwanted. One way he might choose to create consistency again, regain control of his feelings, is to justify why it didn’t work out. She wasn’t as pretty up close. She’s actually a snob and I’m better off without her. Or perhaps he decides she wants him to work harder so he doubles down and creates consistency between what he believes and how he feels that way.

Another facet of the above point is ignoring what’s plain to everyone else. The woman in an abusive relationship might know her boyfriend is toxic to her wellbeing, but feels like she can’t leave. Leaving means being alone, means supporting herself, means not knowing what tomorrow might bring.

It could mean that every derogatory thing he’s ever said to her is actually true, and she’s sure she’d face any negative consequences he’s threatened. So to create consistency between what she knows and feels, she avoids acknowledging the abuse. She justifies or explains away his behavior so that she doesn’t have to do anything about it.

What Emotional Layers Could Be At Play With Internal Conflict

There are dozens of emotions possible with internal conflict based on what’s at stake, right. In Laurel K. Hamilton’s Blue Moon, the protagonist Anita Blake doesn’t believe in torture. But there’s a short scene where she’s desperate to get the truth from someone and resorts to torture. She crossed her own line in the sand. She’s disregarded what she knows and gave in to how she felt.

The fallout of that is her renewed faith in the boundary that she won’t torture, and when it comes up again in the novel where she needs information from someone and is encouraged to expedite the process with pain, she refuses and that costs her emotionally. As soon as a character questions their abilities or self-worth and sees themselves falling short in some way, we have shame.

Shame is a very powerful emotion to play with as a writer. Shame doesn’t tell us we did a bad thing, shame says we are bad. Shame is so heavy, such a burden emotionally that typically people will do anything to get out from under that weight. But shame is a secondary emotion, so work backwards and identify the primary emotions that would cause shame.

Subtext Is Needed For Internal Conflict

The only way internal conflict works as a story device for emotional arc is when the reader is aware of the conflict in the protagonist. The best way to show this to readers is to use subtext. This is a more advanced fiction writing tool, but if you can master subtext you’ll take your writing to another level. Subtext is what’s not being said, it’s the unspoken communication. I’ve written about subtext here and here and here.

Can you think of a movie or book that had really great internal conflict that ratcheted up the stakes for the protagonist?

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