Deep Point of View Archives - Lisa Hall-Wilson

Identify Your Character’s Emotional Triggers

June 26, 2019 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

Everyone has an emotional trigger. This is not about mental health, anxiety, PTSD — none of that. Every one has emotional triggers – but are you using this to increase the emotional tension in your story? Why not!?

What Does Your Character Think Is Their Strength?

What does your character pride themselves on having, being, doing, possessing, needing, controlling, etc? Do they rest their identity in any of these things? Some common ones are: acceptance, respect, being liked, being needed, freedom, attention, being in control, autonomy, safety, etc.

It could be a strength or aptitude that was reinforced when they were young. A child identified as gifted at a young age might place all their identity and self-worth in being smart, in being the smartest person in the room. How would they feel when faced with a new colleague who is smarter, faster, more innovative? What would that do to their self-confidence?

This where personality plays into things. Would they react in anger and lash out, gossip, try to undermine the new colleague at every opportunity? Would they sink into shame and beat themselves up constantly? Would they become competitive and work themselves into the groud to maintain what they believe they’re owed or due?

A woman who’s always told how pretty she is might begin to expect that compliment from people, from men in particular. What thought takes root if that doesn’t happen? What emotions come to the fore if she’s in the room when another woman gets all the compliments and not her?

Emotional triggers are often linked to anything at all that a character feels they’re really good at, that they deserve, something they see as their personal identity, or that they’re constantly striving for (feeling heard by a spouse for example).

What Does Your Character Value Most And Fears Having Taken Away?

This where the primary and secondary emotions come into play. You can read more about that here – but for to recap a primary emotion is an instinctive emotional response: fear, guilt, envy, jealousy, attraction. A secondary emotion is any emotion that requires a thinking response: love, anger, hatred, shame, etc.

Anger and shame and love are always secondary emotions.

Some emotions can be either a primary or secondary emotion. Take attraction for instance (learn to write the body language of attraction here), attraction can be an instinctive thing (a primary emotion), but it can also develop over time with familiarity (a secondary emotion).

An emotional trigger skips the primary emotion phase and jumps right to the thinking response – the secondary emotion. That’s why you can instantly be angry at something and not know why.

So, for example, I have a character with an emotional trigger of feeling high maitenance. If she perceives that people think she’s being high maitenance, too-big-for-her-britches, because it’s a learned response (one that she’s practiced many times) she skips right to feeling shame. The shame is what’s observable (showable in actions or dialogue). The shame is what I show when writing this emotional trigger.

What Emotions Are Activated When Key Needs Are Or Aren’t Met?

Activated is another way to say triggered, but in this context it seems more descriptive. Once you’ve identified the feelings or fears that are emotional triggers for your character (and yes you can have more than one), next figure out what emotions are activated when that situation crops up.

You have to think in terms of secondary emotions here. Do they immediately become angry? Are they riddled with shame? Do they feel loved? Remember, triggers don’t have to be negative!

Now, to manage or overcome an emotional trigger, an individual needs a good measure of self-awareness and humility. Then, as Brene Brown would say, they need to get curious. Why do they feel that way? What do they feel is at stake?

How To Show And Not Tell An Emotional Trigger

In my Method Acting For Writers Masterclass, I talk about how primary emotions are usually felt and secondary emotions are usually seen. How does that play out?

Eliza’s husband is three hours later coming home than he said he’d be, without answering texts, emails or phone calls to explain the delay. Eliza has shipped the kids off to grandma’s for the night, prepared a nice dinner, and gottten all dressed up — as a surprise.

By the time hubs arrives home, Eliza has cleared the romantic setting from the table, put all the still-edible bits of food in the fridge, and Eliza’s changed out of the sexy outfit she’d been wearing into a terry bathrobe.

During the whole clean-up, her primary emotions are going wild. Frustration (feeling taken for granted). Concern (did something happen at work). Fear (was he in an accident). Jealousy (was there another woman). You’d show all these emotions colliding around inside through physiology , actions, and internal dialogue.

Once hubs arrives home and is safe – oh, whoops – went out for drinks did I forget to text you? Now she has to DO something with these emotions so now she’s angry. But if Eliza had an emotional trigger of say… feeling in control, then not knowing where her hubs was when he was supposed to be at home would be a trigger for a secondary emotion. Having her well-thought-out plans for the surprise would be an emotional trigger.

Emotional triggers can be powerful and effective, because they’re so often over-the-top emotional reactions. When your emotional triggers are activated, you’re not just angry — you’re livid. People can observe these night-and-day emotional hairpin turns because they seem to come out of nowhere if you’re not privvy to what the trigger is.

Are you using emotional triggers in your novel? What is your character afraid will be taken away or threatened?

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Why Is Learning Deep Point Of View So Hard?

May 30, 2019 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

When you only have the basics of deep point of view, writing with this technique becomes a bit like exploring a new house by groping your way through the main floor in the dark. You’re guessing, making assumptions, and skimming over important details. This is a case where a little information is a dangerous thing. Many writers take these basic strategies and think that’s all there is to it, but there’s SO MUCH more to deep point of view.

Deep point of view is hard to learn because it’s hard to find more information than just the basics!

The Four Basics Everyone Covers

If you do a search on deep point of view, you’ll probably find a rehash of the same four or five basic principles of deep point of view. And these are a great starting place. The problem is that those blogs don’t tell you they’re just scratching the surface – or maybe they don’t know themselves if they don’t write in deep point of view.

What are the basics? Avoid telling (such as naming emotions). Remove all distance and thinking words. Watch for author intrusion. Write tight (because deep pov often adds to your word count).

These are great tips, but the problem is writers read these and think that’s all there is to deep point of view. If they can master these things, they’re off to the races. And it can’t really be that hard, right. Just do a search in your manuscript for these naughty words — good to go!

Not quite.

What Makes Deep Point Of View Work?

I wrote about whether deep point of view will work for your story, which is a different question. What makes deep point of view work is much deeper than plot drivers or genre.

The power of deep point of view is the intimate perspective, the raw and authentic emotions, and the very narrow worldview readers experience a story through. You can nail all the basics mentioned above and still get feedback that you need to go deeper.

I created the Deep Point Of View Blueprint so you’d have an idea of what techniques and tools you’ll need to explore more if you wanted to do the research and learning on your own.

That’s how I learned. But it took me years and years to do it on my own!

I went to my first writer’s conference in 2007. I won free registration. That’s where I first heard about close third person — which is sorta deep point of view but not quite. I was fascinated by the way my favourite authors were now writing in such a way that I felt like I was IN the story. There was a fresh intensity and connection to books I hadn’t felt before (and I was a lifelong reader) and I set out to write like this for myself.

I recently came across conference critiques I’d received in 2011 – so FOUR YEARS after I first launched my own exploration and study into what would become known as deep point of view. So, after four years I was convinced I had the basics down pat (but I didn’t know they were just the basics) and had a publishable story.

The editor, agent, and contest judge made the same comments I’d heard everywhere else without much help on what to do next:

Great concept, but I don’t understand why [character name] made that decision – it’s irrational. Undercuts the tension.

Ouch! How about this one:

You need to go deeper. I don’t know how your character feels about this. If I don’t know how they feel, I can’t care with them.

Or…

I can’t picture any of what’s going on. Lot of suspense, but I wasn’t drawn in…

For FOUR YEARS!! I’d been studying and reading up on deep point of view and guys – I was still missing the point. I still couldn’t get deep point of view to work for me! And I couldn’t find the information I needed in one place.

I came home absolutely defeated. What was I missing? I had done everything the blogs and writing books had said to do. If I was lucky, I’d get one or two comments on the next thing to work on: use beats not tags; this is author intrusion; this is telling… Let me tell you, that is the SLOW and expensive way to learn! lol

I almost quit. I needed to go deeper – but I don’t know HOW!! Have you been there too?

It took years and years working on my own to grasp what deep point of view was really about. I had to delve into intermediate topics on writing and taught myself to see the connections and common threads. I studied the books that made me FEEL to see how they were using language and perspective. I read psychology books on emotions and body language, and started incorporating the information about behavior, thinking, and coping I was learning with my therapist into my writing.

I didn’t realize how comprehensive writing in this style was until I sat down to create my deep point of view masterclass and pulled all the threads together into a bite-size series that even newer writers could learn from and use right away.

Deep point of view is not hard to learn once you understand what effect you’re trying to create and the range of tools you have at hand to do that. It’s more than a set of rules — words to avoid. It’s a shift in how you tell stories, in digging deep into your own emotional experience, and creating an effect that pulls readers so deep into a story they feel like they’re RIGHT THERE WITH YOUR PROTAGONIST.

My deep point of view masterclass is open right now. This course is almost 5 weeks long. It’s intense. It’s a masterclass for intermediate writers. You will have to work – but at the end you’ll have all the tools, a concept map on how to use the tools, personalized feedback, and a community of writers you can turn to when you need a hand.

Learn more about this masterclass here! Registration closes on June 3.

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Will Deep Point Of View Work For You?

May 28, 2019 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 1 Comment

Will deep point of view work for you? Deep point of view is going to change your writing and even change how you read fiction, but it’s not a panacea to bestseller status. It’s just not. Deep point of view is an intermediate fiction technique that requires you to have a good foundation in basic writing skills to make it work for you.

Deep point of view is lipstick on a pig if you don’t understand story structure, character arc, tension, conflict, scenes and sequels, hooks, avoiding adverbs, passive voice, point of view, and maybe a few others that aren’t coming to my mind at the moment. If you are just starting out, focus on learning these things first. I promise you, it will save you hours and hours of editing and disappointment.

Why? Because these basic things will be all people point out to you when you’re starting out. They will see these beginning mistakes and shrug. This is a good writer, but they’re not ready to be published yet.

Been there.

However, if you’re past all those things and you’ve been writing for a bit then you’re probably ready for deep point of view. You’ve probably heard about deep point of view already and maybe wondered what it’s all about. This technique is particularly popular among any of the romance genre writers, but is growing in popularity across all popular fiction categories including fantasy, thrillers, crime, sci-fi, historicals, and others.

What Genres Does Deep Point Of View Work For?

Deep point of view brings the reader in super close to the emotional heart of a story. While action is conveyed through deep point of view effectively, the power of deep point of view is how a character feels (hence the prevalence of it being used in romance genres).

So whether your character has escaped her kidnapper, is the target of a serial killer, is parsing out whether that hot guy is worth the trouble he’s causing, is hunting for a missing child, is alone on a piece of driftwood after the Titanic has sunk, or facing down a dragon — how the character feels and how the events of the story impact their heart is where deep point of view really grabs readers by the throat and won’t let go.

What this means practically is that your story might be well-suited to using deep point of view throughout the whole novel, or is better used strategically for key scenes. It can be boiled down to a very simplistic view of character driven vs plot driven. However, every story is unique and the emotional tension might be a key aspect of a plot driven story. Only you can answer this question, and the answer might vary from one novel to another.

In a thriller, if the story is written from the victim’s POV, deep point of view could be very effective for the entire novel because his terror and self-doubt and rage are what you want the reader to connect with (the story is character driven). If the POV is the detective hunting the killer, then the concrete details of the investigation (plot driven) are the main plot drivers so using deep point of view for key scenes – like the aftermath of the discovery of a new victim, the night off when the detective chooses to drink herself into oblivion to avoid the emotions flooding her senses – could be very impactful for readers. These are trends I’ve observed, but it is overly simplistic. I think deep point of view can work for any kind of novel.

Can I Use Deep Point Of View With First Or Third Person?

Not all first person stories are written in deep point of view. I used to think that writing in first person nessicitated using deep point of view, but that’s not the case. How deep you want to delve into the emotional heart of a character and how close the reader feels to being IN the story, is the pertinent question to ask.

Deep point of view can work in either first person or third person. I’ve seen deep point of view used for one POV character and not another. I think the main point is to be consistent. If you begin writing a character in deep pov then keep that going. If you’re only using deep pov for key scenes, then keep doing that – for the whole novel.

3 Keys To Success With Deep Point Of View

Be Realistic And Authentic

Between the work from students of my Method Acting Class, submissions in my 5 Day Deep Point Of View Challenge on Facebook, and comments from readers of my Method Acting For Writers book, I’ve come to see that some writers don’t care about being realistic or authentic with emotions.

From time to time, most writers realize they’ve written a character who is being irrational, lacks focus or goals, or doesn’t face the consequences of their behavior — and we revise. We want to do better. But I’ve also encountered many writers who don’t care. They have an end goal in mind – a happily ever after or whatever, and they don’t care if the journey to get there feels real or authentic to readers. This is THEIR story and they can do what they like.

The problem with that attitude is that if these flaws are evident in your character in a shallower point of view, deep pov will only point a spotlight on them. Will there be readers who don’t care if a story is well-written or authentic? Yeah.

I’m not content to write those kinds of stories. I encourage all my students to strive for more than that too. I want to write the kind of story that impacts readers, makes them feel, is a story they want to revisit over and over — not just be an afternoon’s fling and never thought of again.

Commit To Excelling At Craft And Writing The Best You Can Write

If you want to write in deep point of view, commit to learning the strategy. Half-assing it will not create the effect you’re hoping for. Deep point of view is about so much more than avoiding distance words or telling.

Many of us are tempted to skim over details for a few common reasons. We don’t know the character well enough to know what they feel, why they feel that way, or what the impact of that emotion is on their character or actions. Sometimes we’re writing about an emotion or event that hits a little too close to home and we’d just rather skim over the details and get back to the story. If that’s the case, change the story event. You’re the author. You’re allowed to change things like that and still get your character to feel a particular way. Sometimes you have to put the story aside for a time until you’ve found some healing and perspective for yourself first.

Be mindful of your own mental health though. We’ve all read stories of actors who took method acting a step or two too far and paid some heavy mental health consequences as a result. Be kind to yourself. Take a break when needed. Talk with a friend, spouse, or therapist. Hey – athletes don’t hestitate to go to physio, a chiropractor, or massage therapist if it will help their performance. If your trade is writing emotions with authenticity and realism, then talking to someone who’s an expert on those things is a business expense and those experts are part of your support team.

Be Strategic

Know what effect you want to create in any given scene, where you want the character to go/feel/do as a result of any scene, and use the best tool for the job. This is hard if you don’t know what tools you have at hand or how to use them.

There are troves of blogs out there excusing telling without explaining how to use it strategically. There are blogs that only repeat the basic foundational steps for writing in deep point of view – they offer the top drawer tools in a tool box and neglect to mention all the bottom of the box tools you also need or have at hand. Sure, you can put on base boards with a hammer and nails, but a pro is going to use a nail gun. Learn the pro tools for a better overall finished effect.

Registration is open now for my Method Acting For Writers Masterclass. Learn deep point of view in 5 weeks (all the tools, not just the top level stuff), get personalized feedback, and submit 3 pages per week for critique so you know you’ve got it right! Learn more here.

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4 Tips To Get Unstuck Writing Hard Emotions In Fiction

May 22, 2019 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

Emotions are hard to capture authentically in fiction, maybe in part because as a society we tend to want to express things more in terms of what we’re doing or thinking. This diving deep into the raw humanity expressed through emotions is the power of deep point of view.

How You Doin Joey GIF from Howyoudoin GIFs

Emotions are hard and uncomfortable and sometimes inconvenient and there’s an inherent vulnerability in writing — in good writing — where the writer lays bare her own heart for readers in a variety of ways.

I’m an avid student of psychology and learning how emotions work intrigues me, so being able to authentically capture all this for my readers is important to me. And if you’re here on this blog, I know it’s important to you too because that’s kinda… I mean *smile* that’s what I blog about alot. What I’ve been digging into recently is trying to better understand how emotions work, how much predictability there is in terms of the consequences of past events on adult behaviour, and the dichotomy between what’s expressed outwardly (what’s observable to others) and what’s said and felt internally.

To that end, here are four aspects of writing emotions that I’ve focused on with my characters with good results. You might not use/need all of these for any one novel or even a character, but they are tools to keep in your pocket and pull out if you’re stuck or struggling how to convey an emotion authentically.

All The Girls At The Table

A friend (who’s a counsellor) described this idea of the girls at the table which she uses with her clients and it really resonated with writer-me. When emotions for your character get hot, confusing, sad, overwhelming, uncomfortable, create foggy thinking — get curious as Brene Brown would say. What’s driving those emotions for your character? Whether your character has enough self-awareness or personal insight to figure it out or not, you need to know. Why do they feel like this? Why does this hurt? What are they really upset about? Why don’t they want to be here?

This can be transformative. Get curious about your character’s emotions. Why are they feeling that way? Why don’t they want anyone to know they feel that way? What are they afraid of?

Now, add in my friend’s advice. Sit down with all the girls at the table. For every hurt moment or traumatic event in life, imagine that kid (girl or guy) at the table. Each traumatic event or hurtful moment adds another seat at the table of the heart. That group, collectively and individually, influences which past events are triggered in the present. Ask that kid – why are you afraid? What are you trying to hide? You’re hurt about this — but what does this really mean?

I have a character who’d made plans for a vacation with a close friend, and the close friend had to bail at the last minute (legitimate reason) but my character was devastated by this. The reaction wasn’t in line with what had happened so as the writer, I had to get curious. Why was this so hurtful? I realized the hurt was legitimate disappointment about not going on the trip but there was something more. There was a kid at the table slumped in her seat, arms folded over her chest, kicking her feet against the legs of the chair. That friend routinely cancelled, for always legitimate reasons, and there were past disappointments at play.

Another kid at the table cried. This was a younger still kid, she remembered that many many times her needs were ignored, overlooked, told they didn’t matter as much as someone else’s. THAT’s the kid causing the tears because once again she had felt unimportant, not a priority, passed over. Once you have this information, you can express the primary emotions at play with visceral authenticity that will capture your readers. Read more about primary and secondary emotions here.

Feelings Aren’t Facts

Feelings and emotions can’t always be trusted. As someone who struggles with foggy thinking at times because of a post traumatic stress injury, this has become super important to remind myself of.

Just because I feel a certain way, doesn’t mean that feeling is true or trustworthy. Because there’s a lot of past experiences and prejudices at play (see above with all the girls at the table) that can influence, skew, and colour my perception of what’s going on around me or being said (or not said).

This is important to understand, because emotions and feelings power our goals, motivations, and priorities. Where does your character’s feelings lead them astray? How does their past influence them to incorrectly evaluate a situation or threat? At what point do they realize their feelings may not be trustworthy in any given situation or recurring circumstance? What are the consequences of the thinking based on feelings that can’t be trusted? OOooh – tell me you can see all the conflict that potentially arises from this?

Emotions Aren’t Stable

Being emotionally stable is nebulous though highly sought after. We tend to avoid people we perceive to be emotionally unstable. Here’s the thing though, we’re all emotionally unstable at times and our characters can’t always have it all all together either. Just as feelings aren’t facts, emotions are neither static nor linear. Some days our emotions bounce from one conflicting emotion to another like a ping pong ball. We have what’s called a “window of tolerance” and anyone can be pushed out of their window of tolerance (the ability to function, perceive, and integrate information and emotions effectively) at any time.

Those perceived as emotionally unstable are often individuals with a narrower window of tolerance. However, a car accident will push you out of the window of tolerance. A sudden death in the family or a close friend will likely push you out of the window of tolerance. Those with anxiety or traumatic injuries will likely have a narrower window of tolerance and a learned response to certain triggers (hyper arousal -fight or flight- or hypo arousal – freeze).

Most of the time, as writers, we craft a situation (or several situations) in a story where we push our characters out of their window of tolerance which means they’ll be emotionally unstable. Be authentic with that. Let there be consequences to that. Let them learn from that. Will that experience narrow or widen their window of tolerance? Hmmm…

Emotions Are Subtle And Nuanced

Speaking of wide brushes, I hope I’ve made a case for drilling down into why a character feels a certain way, determining how much intergrity those feelings have, and the natural consequences of that unique blend of factors combined with a character’s past experiences, prejudices, goals, and motivations. If you’re able to know your characters well enough to have all this sorted, then deep point of view is going to intensify your fiction and grab your readers by the throat!

Not every emotion your character feels needs to be BIG. Not every decision needs to be based on a BIG emotion. Sometimes we’re ruled by emotions we refuse to acknowledge but are readily picked up on by others. Avoid the easy road with your fiction. These are really simple factors that when combined create endless possibilities. It’s the possibilities that make each character unique.

Not every character needs to be thought through to this level, but certainly your protagonist and antagonist do.

Which character(s) from your favourite book or movie had an emotional journey that really resonated with you?

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How To Create 3-D Emotional Depth In Fiction

May 14, 2019 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

Adding emotional depth to a scene, often in the revision stage, can be hard because you’ve written it as you pictured it in your head, right. However, sometimes what’s in your head isn’t what comes across on the page. How frustrating! Try creating a 3-D effect for readers and using sensory details to convey motive/goals/priorities, and emotions.

Before You Turn To The Sensory Details…

Yes, sensory details are going to be important, but first thing’s first. For deep point of view, you must become the main character in each scene. You’re not a passive third-party observer, a movie-goer in a theatre seat – you are the main character. This small tweak to how your brain captures the scene is very helpful.

Now, what’s your character’s goal in this scene? What do they want to happen? What are they trying to acheive? What’s at stake? What’s their worst case scenario? Jot all this down if you need to. This is your character’s WHY and it will be the filter through which all the other details are seen through.

List 5 Things Your Character Can See

This is actually a twist on a grounding exercise for those struggling with PTSD, anxiety, etc. Close your eyes and become your main character for a moment. Remind yourself of their WHY – what are they desperate to find, get to, rescue, overcome, etc.

List 5 things your character can see. What are the first five things your character notices about the setting? Remember, readers do 90% of the work with description. If I write that my pretty female MC has pulled the handsome male MC she’s been crushing on into a dark office and made a point of locking the door behind her. She reaches for the buttons on her blouse and he reaches for the blinds.

What are the first 5 things she sees? Here’s my guess: his body posture, the desk he’s leaning back against, the way his fingers curl around the edge of the desktop, the light coming into the office under the locked door, the file marked TOP SECRET on his desk.

Adding Layers Of Sensory Details To Show Emotional Depth

Sight is the primary sense writers use and that’s totally understandable, but we have other senses that take in information that influences our decisions and interpretations of things. You’ve written down the character’s WHY, and the first five things the character sees in this scene. (What she notices or searches for hints at her WHY.)

List 4 things she can hear: the metallic rasp of the blinds against the office windows, the muted footsteps and murmurs of colleagues passing by the office, the crunch of papers under his backside, the sharp intake of his breath.

List 4 things she can touch: the hard smooth buttons on her blouse, the soft silk of her blouse, the stiff utilitarian carpet under her toes, the restrictive watch band on her wrist ticking away the time…

List 3 things she can smell: his cologne or aftershave, the lingering scent of her own shampoo, the sharp popcorn odour from the microwave in the office across the fall.

What Can All Those Sensory Details Show Readers?

My character is concerned with getting a glimpse of a file on the guy’s desk, but she also really really likes this guy. She’s a little conflicted. She’s very aware of the time – of how quickly it’s passing, and that they’re not alone. They are in a busy office setting.

Now, in a story I wouldn’t want to just catalogue all these details. I would pick one or two or three details that would create a 3 dimensional setting for readers. The physical details of the setting, the desk, the door, are what’s vital for reader to know. Does it matter in this scene if there’s art on the wall? That the guy has a $30,000 vase on a shelf? What the name plate on his desk says? Not right now. All of the setting details are filtered and prioritized through her scene goals and motivations.

The Key To Creating A 3-D-Style Setting

The really key thing to remember is that YOU (the writer) are not describing the scene or the setting, the character is. That’s the tweak you need to make to the POV perspective.

Whatever is important to the character, whatever their goals are, what they’re afraid of, all those things are going to create a filter through which they take in information. In deep point of view, what they overlook or don’t notice is just as important as what they do see. If my character above had never been in that office before, she might notice different things maybe. If she had a different reason for being in that office with that guy, she would focus on different details. The fact that she doesn’t notice any setting details beyond the desk, the man, and the folder on the desk inside the office offers clues for readers.

Trust Your Readers To Understand How Sensory Details Betray Emotions

The biggest issue I come across when helping people learn deep point of view is that they don’t trust the reader. They leave this beautiful trail of clues that are subtle and well done, and then the next sentence they blurt out everything they alluded to above just to “make sure the reader gets it.” This is what beta readers are for. Ask them, did you get this? In this scene, what did you think she wanted most? These kinds of questions will help you figure out if you need to tweak the description or not instead of resorting to blunt telling.

I’m opening up the 5 Day Deep Point Of View Challenge on Facebook again from May 20-24! Join the free group and get 5 days of free video lessons and get feedback on your homework! Make sure you answer the questions to get into the group!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/5daydeeppovchallenge/

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Brene Brown’s Guide To Creating An Emotional Arc Using Shame

April 30, 2019 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

Shame is one of the most powerful and underused emotions in a fiction-writer’s toolbox. Shame is pervasive and common, it’s ugly and hard to capture well, but deep point of view is the perfect technique to use with this complex emotion. Readers cheer for characters who are relate-able, who stand up to bullies, who stay and fight when they don’t have to. They relate to characters who have flaws!

And shame is one emotion everyone studiously avoids, denies, and conceals and because of that can have some awful negative consequences like rage, anxiety, depression, emptiness, isolation, addiction, substance abuse, violence, bullying, suicide, eating disorders, etc.

Guilt says you did a bad thing. Shame says you’re a bad person.

This is an excerpt from a guest post – click here to read the whole post on Writers In The Storm.

How To Show And Not Tell Shame In Fiction

Brene Brown in her book Rising Strongdescribed shame as living with a rock on your chest. Shame feels like a crushing, inescapable weight on our chests, cutting off our air, knotting our guts, stealing our words, making us flushed. (The Emotion Thesaurus is a great resource.)

Whether your character starts off feeling shameful about something (past or present) and works to shake that off, or shame is something that they take on in the course of the story, the key to a shame emotion arc is what Brene Brown calls The Reckoning, The Rumble, and the Revolution. It looks a lot like the 3-act structure *smile*

In Rising Strong, Brown gives this example: “…Your face turns red and heat radiates from your chest when you learn that your boss gave the lead for a new project to your colleague.”

Here are two scenarios Brene poses to this emotional problem:

“My boss is an a—hole. Todd’s such a brownnoser. Who cares? This job sucks and this company is a joke.” This is the shame-train reaction—the knee-jerk, off-loading, emotional avoidance caused by shame. As long as your character stays here and never questions WHY they feel this angry, then your character is letting emotions they refuse to admit they feel to drive the shame-train.

“I’m so pissed about her giving the lead to Todd. I need to figure this out before I lose it with everyone on our team…” This curiosity begins the process below. There’s an inciting incident that causes the character to take a proactive step to get off the shame-train.

The 3 Act Structure For Writing Shame According To Brene Brown

The Reckoning: At some point in the story, your character decides to jump off the shame-train and gets curious. Why do I feel like this? Why am I reacting like this? Why do I think of x or y when this happens? Hopefully your character has a friend or ally with them. The Reckoning is about identifying and/or labelling the emotion or thinking that’s got them convinced they’re a bad person (put them on the floor of the arena).

The Reckoning is heart-breaking work because it’s one step forward and two steps back over and over. Their best thinking is what put that boulder on their chest (either as a reaction to something they did or is a survival mechanism to something done to them) to begin with and they’ve managed the rock by ignoring it was there altogether. Now that they acknowledge it’s there, life is going to get harder as they reckon with hard emotions they’ve trained themselves to numb or off-load onto others.

This kicks off The Rumble.

The Rumble:The Rumble is the shame-showdown. Now that your character acknowledges the thinking and emotions that have put them on the floor of the arena, now they’re going to THINK their way out from under the shame-boulder. But they’re acutely aware of those in the stands staring at them, at their repeated failure, their unworthiness.

The Rumble is about living with, allowing to well up, wrestling with the emotions they’ve avoided all this time. It means admitting they over-reacted. It’s about acknowledging emotions they might not understand or memories that seem unrelated that keep popping up. It’s doing the hard work of figuring out how they feel and WHY!

Now the character moves on to The Revolution.

The Revolution:Once the character has gotten the rock of shame off their chest, once they’ve rumbled with the emotions that put it there, now comes the revolution. They now must rebuild their self-esteem. This provides incredible character arc if you look for it. How does one let go of perfectionism? How does one learn to forgive themselves? What do they ask themselves as they stumble in The Rumble? That’s narrative gold, right there.

Questions To Ask Your Characters About Shame

What emotions does your character refuse to acknowledge they’re struggling with? Does the tomboy refuse to acknowledge the girly side that’s vulnerable? Does the warrior refuse to cry? WHY?

When something negative happens, we create the stories in our heads we expect to hear. We filter everything that’s said and done through how we believe we’re perceived even if there’s no evidence for that conclusion. How can a self-fulfilling prophecy of shame play into your story?

What thought does your character avoid having confirmed in any conflict or hurtful event?

What is your character’s go-to emotional substitution? Do they lash out in anger? Do they self-flagellate with destructive internal messages?

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