writing fiction Archives - Lisa Hall-Wilson

Deep Point of View: First Person Or Third Person POV

January 29, 2019 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 3 Comments

Is it better or does it create more emotional connection to write fiction in first or third person? Does genre matter? Can I use multiple POVS? Am I worried about the wrong things?

Is First Person Or Third Person Better?

This is one of the most common questions I get asked when I’m running my Method Acting For Writers class on writing in deep point of view. There’s a long answer and a short answer.

The Short Answer:

What do you feel more comfortable writing? Don’t get caught up in the first or third person dilemma – it’s a red herring. I’ve never heard a reader tell me they decided not to read a story that intrigued them because it was written in one or the other. Readers want well-told stories.

The Long Answer:

The question of first or third can be a question of genre. YA novels lately have been trending towards first person POV. Many romance genres also seem to be trending lately towards first person. That said, there are examples in those genres of authors using third person. Most of the fantasy novels I’ve read recently have been in third person, but your experience may be different.

Most writers seem to feel one POV comes more naturally to them than the other. So stick with that until you’re proficient and have a couple of titles under your belt. Some stories seem to lend themselves better to one POV style than another as well. You may find yourself writing in third for one novel, and the next writing in first.

First Person Isn’t Necessarily In Deep Point Of View

One of the common misperceptions I find is that writers assume a story written in first person POV must be written in deep POV. Not so. Some writers are able to write first person POV and still make use to distance and other techniques that would be considered “telling” in deep POV. I find this more commonly in literary fiction genres. To be clear, this isn’t wrong. It’s a stylistic choice.

“I wore a black suit and a white shirt, a black tie and black shoes, all polished and shiny: clothes that normally would make me feel uncomfortable, as if I were in a stolen uniform or pretending to be an adult. Today, they gave me comfort of a kind. I was wearing the right clothes for a hard day.” The Ocean At The End Of The Lane: A Novel, Neil Gaiman

So, this isn’t in deep POV because there’s too much distance between the character and the reader. The character is “telling a story” as opposed to living out a story and letting the reader experience it vicariously. There’s a filter applied that wouldn’t be present in deep point of view. It’s a stylistic choice.

Writing Deep POV In Third Person Isn’t Harder

If writing in third person has always been what comes naturally to you, then writing in third deep POV will become just as natural. There is a learning curve, that comes with learning deep POV, but it’s just as effective in third person as in first.

“Heart hammering, he lurched upright in bed. Sweat drenched the front of his T-shirt and plastered his hair to his temples…He squinted against the early morning sunlight and groaned. Another dream. Another ridiculous dream.” Dreamlander, K.M. Weiland

You Don’t Have To Stick To ALL The Rules

I think it’s important to learn the rules of a writing technique. Learn the parameters of deep point of view so that you understand why specific techniques are employed, what effect the writer is trying to create by using them. Once you understand that, you can flex the rules a little so that they work for you. Lots of writers employ a version of deep point of view that breaks some rules and follows others.

Game of Thrones is one that immediately comes to mind. George R. R. Martin isn’t constrained by the “rules” of deep point of view. He uses speech tags, he uses telling in certain places, he allows distance to creep in more than a strict deep point of view technique would call for. Does it matter? Not really. His storytelling is still compelling and emotionally rich. How many people have given up on the series because the character *they loved* was killed off? They wouldn’t stop reading if they didn’t care – a lot!

The important thing is to be consistent and always get an editor and/or beta readers to give specific feedback on whether the effects you’re trying to create are working.

But What Do You Recommend?

This is the inevitable next question when I refuse to tell people what to do. *grin* I’m still not going to tell you what to do, but if it’s helpful here’s my personal preference.

Third person is more flexible than first person. Not everyone agrees with me on this and that’s fine. If first person comes to you more naturally than third person, then go with that. I don’t write in first person for the following reasons.

I write entirely in deep point of view, so I use this technique like a camera lens for the story and I’m the director. As the director, I can use a variety of camera techniques and angles to heighten interest and tension. I can use a wide shot to give a sense of the bigger picture, zoom in to a small group of people, zoom in to just one person, zoom in so you can see the character’s sweat. I never violate POV, but by adding small amounts of distance, filtering, or telling, third person lets me adjust the zoom on deep point of view to create specific effects strategically.

This means that writing in third person allows me to flex the rules a little – like Martin does with Game of Thrones (which is also written in third person). I find first person more difficult and confining in terms of a storytelling vehicle — but your mileage with this last bit of advice may vary.

Do you prefer to write in third or first person POV? Have you read novels in both first and third person deep POV?

Make sure you check out my book Method Acting for Writers: Learn Deep Point Of View Using Emotional Layering.

4 Questions To Ask To Avoid Info Dumps In Deep Point Of View

January 25, 2019 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 2 Comments

No one likes reading an info dump, but we writers justify their existence because we’re sure the reader needs all this background information here, right now. Info dumps kill the pace and tension in your story and readers may just put down your book and walk away forever.

What Is An Info Dump?

“An info dump is a very large amount of information, usually backstory, supplied all at once in a narrative.” Backstory is important and vital to any character and story, but the reader doesn’t necessarily need to know all of what you know or have created. As any good introvert knows, people have to earn the trust to be told your entire lifestory, you don’t just verbally vomit on a stranger. It’s rude. *smile*

Concerning Hobbits…

In an omniscient point of view, the kind of worldbuilding Tolkien used in The Lord Of The Rings and The Hobbit is acceptable. Omniscient point of view though is largely out of favor with modern readers and acquisition editors.

It’s hard to ground the reader in time and place without frontloading a work with all the ways that world is different from our own world/reality/time/place. Whether you’re writing Steampunk, Space Opera, Edwardian romance, spec fic, etc etc — the key is to avoid large deposits of information and let the world unfold for the reader as the character sees it. If everyone in your story world is green with large antennae, construct an organic scenario that would cause your character to notice it — because we don’t often think/comment on things that seem every day or ordinary.

An Info Dump: Cassandra kept her claws rounded and painted which showed her pride in her appearance. The green-skinned passersby didn’t give her any notice. They kept their long antennae gleaming and straight. Her people were fastidious and prided themselves on their appearances. Not being noticed was a good thing.

Organic Worldbuilding: Cassandra examined the filed ends of her claws. Perfect. Her antennae twitched and she turned to find Steve behind her.
His left antennae was bent and hung limp. Sickly splotches of purple marred his green skin. Everyone gave him a wide berth, covering their gills as they passed by. Would she be contaminated by association? She took a step back. “What happened to you? Are you contagious?”

Add Backstory In Phrases

Jami Gold has a great technique (and I’m sure she doesn’t use it exclusively) of adding backstory through phrases. Not paragraphs, not even whole sentences, but in phrases. Check out this excerpt from Jami Gold’s novel Stone-Cold Heart about the first time we meet the hero, a gargoyle named Garrett. (read Jami’s post on info dumps on page 1 here.)

Warmth crept through Garrett’s chest and spread into his limbs. Tingles followed, racing along his nerves, stirring sensations in his body.

For the first time in countless years, he awoke from stone-death. The human female curled between his limbs explained why. She must have focused enough trust toward him to help him regain full consciousness.

About blasted time. Although these circumstances weren’t the situation he wanted to encounter when he awoke. Of all the things he’d seen during his stone-death, he hadn’t seen the one thing he’d expected. None of his regiment had brought a human female he could use to awaken—or had even come by to check on him.

All those years in his vulnerable form, where his prison of stone could have shattered—ending his life. Years without word, without reports from the field, without conversations with his regiment. Years left alone. Abandoned.

Jami has bolded all the phrases that give backstory bits. Readers are drawn into this story world through the eyes of a gargoyle and what he’s concerned with RIGHT NOW. We know he’s just waking up after countless years asleep, that he needs a female to wake him up, he’s been forgotten, and that things aren’t right in his world. That’s all we really need at this point to cheer for Garrett.

An info dump would have seen Garrett reflecting on his past years as a gargoyle before he was turned into stone, perhaps the history of why he’d been abandoned by his gargoyle friends, blah blah blah. These would all be things he already knows but wouldn’t think about without a reason to bring up all that history. Instead, keep the reader rooted in the right now and what would organically come to the character’s mind.

Backstory should answer one question for the reader and leave them with two more.

Backstory And Deep Point Of View

If you’re writing your entire novel in deep point of view (as opposed to just using this technique for emphasis in key scenes), backstory and worldview info dumps whether through narrative, internal dialogue or spoken dialogue are easily avoided by asking yourself these questions:

What is the character worried about/interested in/working towards RIGHT NOW?
What information does the reader NEED to know RIGHT NOW in order for the story to make sense. How can I answer their most pressing question but leave them asking even more questions?
Which bits of backstory are so compelling that readers will be cheering for my character? (Look at Jami’s excerpt – Garrett’s been forgotten, a soldier left behind-vulnerable, and now someone’s woken him up. I’m already cheering for him.)
Why do I think the reader needs this information now? Is it just to prove I’ve thought of it? (You, as the writer, need to keep yourself out of the story.)

Remember, in deep point of view, the reader is restricted to only what the point of view character (POVC) knows, sees, hears, feels, touches, etc. But it’s also a very intimate and immediate style of writing, so just as we often reflect on the past, the memories are triggered by something in the here and now — a smell, a sound.

Answer The Why

With any bit of backstory or worldbuilding info you include, ask yourself why you’re putting that there, in that scene, right now. Is there an organic reason for the character to think of it? Otherwise it turns into what I call I-have-a-puppy syndrome. I’ve been a teacher in a variety of formal capacities, and it never fails that in a group of young children someone feels left out and interrupts the conversation by bouncing up and down, their hand shooting up in the air, to say, “I have a puppy!”

That’s what it feels like to the reader to be jerked out of the character’s head and sent on a bunny trail that neither feels organic to the moment or the character.

So, ask why you want to include that information in that place of the story. Ask why your readers need that information. Often, the reader needs only a fraction of what we think they need, but be sure and offer context for the character and the setting. Giving the reader too little information is as bad as too much.

Finally, ask whether the character really would be thinking or talking about that bit of backstory or worldbuilding. Because we rarely explain things to ourselves that we already know.

There’s Bob with Cindy, his third girlfriend this year.

There’s Bob. Is it Cindy? No, that was the second one. Mindy? I don’t remember.

Do you struggle to identify info dumps in your work? What’s your achilles heel – what kind of info dumps are you most prone to committing without realizing it?

Make sure you check out my book Method Acting for Writers: Learn Deep Point Of View Using Emotional Layering.

3 Red Flags For Author Intrusion In Deep Point Of View

December 4, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

Readers want an emotional experience or journey in addition to being entertained.

Many writers are looking for ways to create a deeper connection between readers and their main character. They want to create an emotional experience and deep point of view definitely can do that, but not if you undermine the feeling that readers are IN THE STORY instead of reading a story – if that makes sense.

A character’s thoughts tend to be the lifeblood of deep point of view. Internal dialogue helps to clarify the WHY for readers. Why is the MC behaving that way, reacting that way, saying that, etc. But writers switching to deep pov from non-deep point of view styles of writing struggle with too much telling in internal dialogue.

The Mindset Switch

Because we want readers to feel like they’re in the story with the MC (think of it like handing a reader a virtual reality headset or going through the story like it’s a first-person shooter game), we want readers to feel like they’re IN the story not being told a story.

If your story is a car and the MC is in the driver’s seat, the reader doesn’t want to sit in the stands and watch the race, sit in the backseat or ride shotgun. They want to be in the driver’s lap and see everything the driver sees, feel the vibrations in the wheel and feel the lurch with each gear shift. You break the fictive dream in deep point of view if the reader feels like they’re being told a story rather than living it vicariously through the MC.

So writing internal dialogue as though the reader is listening in comes across as author intrusion. Using internal dialogue to convey backstory or “explain” things to readers feels like author intrusion and breaks the fictive dream. You’ve just picked up your reader, taken them out of the story and plopped them right back in the theatre seats watching the story again.

Red Flag #1 – Author Intrusion In Internal Dialogue

Deep point of view is very personal so internal dialogue works best when it feels organic. Ask whether a character would really explain this to themselves if they already know it.

There’s Bob, Cindy’s fourth boyfriend this year, but what’s he done to his hair?

There’s Bob, was he Cindy’s third or fourth boyfriend this year… What’s he done to his hair?

The information that Bob is just one of many boyfriends is “told” in the first example. The second example feels more like the character is talking to themselves, not the reader. If the character already knows who Bob is, why would they explain who he is to themselves? That’s author intrusion — the information is there just for the reader.

If the reader needs some context or information (and you can’t deliver it through dialogue), you have to frame it in such a way that it feels organic to the moment and the character.

Red Flag #2 – Unneccesary Distance

Sentence construction using “when” or “and then” or “when this” and “then that” often leads either to author intrusion and telling OR adding unneccessary distance between the reader and the story. Does that mean you should never use those words? Of course not, but they are red flags.

I was three days into my one week vacation when the phone rang.

I walked down the street and then a dog bit my leg.I hugged myself to keep all the emotions inside when this was the last thing I should’ve done.

It’s narrator-like, isn’t it. Do you talk to yourself like this? The writer is inserting themselves into the story and forcing the reader back on the couch to read the story instead of experience it in real time. At best, it’s adding unneccessary distance for readers. If the reader needs info, it’s usually easier and more organic to have it come out via spoken dialogue.I

When Readers Need Information The POV Character Wouldn’t Say/Think Of Organically…

You’ll often find writers incorporating newbies characters or someone new to a profession or place because they stand in and ask the MC questions that the MC wouldn’t think to answer because they already know the info. Consider Watson and Sherlock Holmes. Watson asks the vital questions readers need the answers to in order to understand the story. But Sherlock wouldn’t volunteer that information, because he already knows the answers himself.

Watson asks the questions readers

Red Flag #3 – Quick Stepping Over Time

Bad: She didn’t remember driving home or climbing into bed and falling asleep.

Bad: She would wake up in the morning and regret the drinking, but right now she was having fun.

Good: She stumbled through the door and fell into bed. Had she closed the door? Who cares. She shut her eyes and gave in to sleep.

Good: She woke up and looked around. Where was she? Bits of memory floated into focus. Right… The bar. The drinking. So much drinking. But how did she get home?

Okay: She wrestled her way out of the car, keys jangling with each stumble, begged the lock to turn, and fell into bed.

In deep point of view, the rule is – the reader knows everything the POV character knows, sees, hears, feels, understands/intuits, remembers, etc. But that’s ALL they know. So, if the character doesn’t remember doing any of it then they can’t recall it for readers without breaking POV.

The character can wake up and realize they don’t remember getting there — in hindsight. What you can’t do, is skip over the action and have the POV character recall it to themselves in hindsight. Or comment on the past that hasn’t happened yet as if they’re looking back at a younger self. The action has to happen in real time (past or present tense doesn’t matter).

You could also use a shallower pov technique to show the character’s awareness of their own actions but that you’re just moving them from point a to point b so to speak. (Yes, if you’re doing it intentionally to create a specific effect or as a story-telling tool, telling or a shallow pov is allowed, but not a POV break.)

What aspect of keeping everything immediate, in real time, and tight POV’d do you struggle with when writing deep point of view?

Make sure you check out my book Method Acting for Writers: Learn Deep Point Of View Using Emotional Layering.

Do You Really Have Writer’s Block?

October 19, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

Is there such a thing as writer’s block? I don’t think it’s as common as writers would like to believe. I think we give the “writer’s block” label to a whole bunch of other things because we feel like we can’t do anything about writer’s block — so we’re off the hook.

Not so, my friends.

Do You Really Have Writer’s Block?

I don’t think I’m all that terribly unique to experience things in a vacuum. I’m convinced that my experiences are fairly universal when it comes to the trouble with getting words down at a rate I find acceptable. But, I’ve also come to see that what I’ve classically labelled as “writer’s block” is in face a host of other things I could do something about and just don’t want to.

Procrastination

There’s this myth that we should LOVE to write all the time. What job is like that? People get tired. They get distracted. There are sometimes other places we’d rather be, people we’d rather be with. Tasks we’d rather not do. If you have been given the impression that real writers love to write all the time and if you don’t you have writer’s block — that’s a lie. Sometimes it’s just plain old procrastination.

This could apply to a first draft, but for pantsers it most often applies to the seemingly endless revision process.

Poor Planning

This one goes hand in hand with procrastination. Sometimes, when we don’t know where the story is going next (talking to all my fellow pantsers out there), we feel stuck. We’re just not sure where to take the story next so we do nothing and call it writer’s block. In reality, if we’d take the time to sit down and do a bit of plotting (at least, this has been my way through it) or talking it out with a patient friend or partner, we can navigate our way out.

It isn’t that we don’t know what we could write or could take the story, we just want to minimize the rewriting we’ll have to do and so… We do nothing and call it writer’s block. It isn’t an inability to think creatively or write, it’s a reluctance to go the wrong direction.

Too Long In The Same Place

Get up and move around. Maybe that means moving to a new room to write or a new location. Maybe that means you pause every hour or so and do a bit of housework or go for a walk at lunch. Whatever works for you to reset your creativity and get those muscles working a bit.

When I feel stuck, I go for a walk or wash some dishes by hand. Often my best ideas come when I’m active and focused on something else that doesn’t require me to pay close attention. The shower is another place I am often able to think my way through a stuck place in a story.

Working Too Long

Did you know that most people only have 3-5 good creative hours in a day? If you’re one of those people who sit at a computer and expect to write non-stop (maybe pause for lunch) for 8 hours a day endlessly, I think you’re going to be frustrated. Make sure to incorporate other tasks into your day, either at the beginning (eat the frog) or at the end (reward).

Writers are observers. We take in life around us and then recreate what we see. If you do nothing but sit at a computer and stop actually observing and taking in life around you, how can you expect to write? Take a day off! Go for a hike. Try something small you’ve never tried before – take a cooking class, do a free gym trial, volunteer at an animal shelter. Do something small that scares you. You don’t have to jump out of a plane, but maybe that means talking to the new neighbour, trying a new class, or trying on clothes you’d never wear!

When Are You Most Creative?

Don’t feel that you have conform to whatever schedule those around you stick to. Work when you’re most creative. If that’s first thing in the morning or late at night, it’s easier to work with your internal clock than against it. Me – I have no creativity in the afternoon. None. I try to leave my marketing work for the afternoons – scheduling social media, creating social images, tinkering with the website, etc. I write in the mornings and late at night.

Now, sometimes we have life circumstances that prevent us from doing this (family, day job, etc.), so I’ve found the writing is harder when I’m working against my internal clock so I have to give myself a bit of grace for working slower than I’d like.

Fear Of (fill in the blank)

Sometimes we label our fears as writer’s block. What are you afraid of? That no one will read your work? That people won’t like your work? That you can’t get an agent? That you never seem to have all the pieces? Listen, every writer deals with those fears. Really. Every writer faces moments or seasons where they’re convinced they’re going to be exposed as the frauds they’re sure they are.

If you want to write, sit down and write. Does having someone’s approval make you a writer? Does having an agent make you a writer? WRITING MAKES YOU A WRITER! So write.

When Is Writer’s Block Actually Writer’s Block?

Opinions vary, right. Some deny that it exists at all (and I might be in that camp – see the Stephen King quote above). That said, I’ve found there have been times when all the things I’ve mentioned above don’t really apply. In my experience, writer’s block is likely more properly labelled burn out. I wrote about that here. Burnout is debilitating and devastating, and the only way out of it is to rest and take a break.

When we ignore our health, when we work too many hours for too long and have nothing to refuel our drive or energy, we burn out. Burn out is real. Take care of yourselves!

What about you? Do you think you’ve called a writing snag writer’s block when it was really one of the things (or something else) above?

I am doing a free 5 Day Deep Point Of View Challenge on Facebook starting October 22. It’ll be in a closed Facebook group. You can sign up for the waiting list here so you don’t miss out when I have all the details put together.

3 Tips On Writing Internal Conflict With Emotional Punch

September 20, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 5 Comments

Does your main character have a line in the sand, a personal boundary or belief they will not violate? This internal conflict is central stories written in deep point of view often. What happens if the character violates their belief or boundary? What would they sacrifice in order to avoid crossing that line? What would either action show readers about what kind of person they are?

In Mission Impossible: Fallout near the very beginning of the movie, Tom Cruise’s character Ethan Hunt draws a line in the sand that defines his actions for the rest of the movie. Benji is anxious about a deal they’re trying to make happen and Hunt turns to him and says, “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

That line in the sand isn’t just about Benji. Hunt means it for anyone he cares about or works with. If he feels responsible for you, he won’t let anything happen to you. (Nothing permanent, anyway.)

In the movie Law Abiding Citizen with Jamie Fox and Gerard Butler, the goal of Butler’s antagonist is to convince Fox’s lawyer character: I don’t make deals with criminals. That’s the line in the sand.

I’ll never be hungry again! – Scarlet O’Hara

What Does Internal Conflict Look Like?

Internal conflict is the experience of having opposing psychological beliefs, desires, impulses or feelings — when you believe one thing and act in a different way. If you want to Google it and learn more, you’ll want to search for cognitive dissonance. This internal conflict is often a battle between what we know and what we feel. Most of the time, people crave consistency, so this internal conflict is when we’re basically at war with ourselves but it’s how we justify our behavior or correct course. This can lead to irrational behavior.

People struggling with internal conflict are squeamish. They might turn pale or lose color. They might feel dizzy or lightheaded. They might tremble or even pass out. Most of these reactions are observable, so another character could comment on them. A character in deep point of view can share the feeling of being dizzy, trembling, feeling lightheaded, queasy or nauseous.

People justify their actions, often audibly. Consider the guy who finds the courage to talk to or ask a girl out and she brushes him off. He’ll have this inner conflict, knowing he hasn’t really lost anything and feeling rejected or unwanted. One way he might choose to create consistency again, regain control of his feelings, is to justify why it didn’t work out. She wasn’t as pretty up close. She’s actually a snob and I’m better off without her. Or perhaps he decides she wants him to work harder so he doubles down and creates consistency between what he believes and how he feels that way.

Another facet of the above point is ignoring what’s plain to everyone else. The woman in an abusive relationship might know her boyfriend is toxic to her wellbeing, but feels like she can’t leave. Leaving means being alone, means supporting herself, means not knowing what tomorrow might bring.

It could mean that every derogatory thing he’s ever said to her is actually true, and she’s sure she’d face any negative consequences he’s threatened. So to create consistency between what she knows and feels, she avoids acknowledging the abuse. She justifies or explains away his behavior so that she doesn’t have to do anything about it.

What Emotional Layers Could Be At Play With Internal Conflict

There are dozens of emotions possible with internal conflict based on what’s at stake, right. In Laurel K. Hamilton’s Blue Moon, the protagonist Anita Blake doesn’t believe in torture. But there’s a short scene where she’s desperate to get the truth from someone and resorts to torture. She crossed her own line in the sand. She’s disregarded what she knows and gave in to how she felt.

The fallout of that is her renewed faith in the boundary that she won’t torture, and when it comes up again in the novel where she needs information from someone and is encouraged to expedite the process with pain, she refuses and that costs her emotionally. As soon as a character questions their abilities or self-worth and sees themselves falling short in some way, we have shame.

Shame is a very powerful emotion to play with as a writer. Shame doesn’t tell us we did a bad thing, shame says we are bad. Shame is so heavy, such a burden emotionally that typically people will do anything to get out from under that weight. But shame is a secondary emotion, so work backwards and identify the primary emotions that would cause shame.

Subtext Is Needed For Internal Conflict

The only way internal conflict works as a story device for emotional arc is when the reader is aware of the conflict in the protagonist. The best way to show this to readers is to use subtext. This is a more advanced fiction writing tool, but if you can master subtext you’ll take your writing to another level. Subtext is what’s not being said, it’s the unspoken communication. I’ve written about subtext here and here and here.

Can you think of a movie or book that had really great internal conflict that ratcheted up the stakes for the protagonist?

Get your copy of Method Acting for Writers: Learn Deep Point of View Using Emotional Layers on Amazon or Kobo.