writing fiction Archives - Lisa Hall-Wilson

Red Flags For Author Intrusion In Deep Point Of View

December 4, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

How do new writers (or writers new to deep point of view) undermine the emotional tension they’ve created with internal dialogue? By not changing their mindset.

I’m in the middle of my Method Acting For Writers course so I often don’t post here as often as normal when I’m in the midst of giving feedback for students every day. However, I often address issues that trip up my students here on the blog for my larger group of readers. Author intrusion is trick in deep point of view because it’s so sneaky.

Why Write In Deep Point Of View?

Many writers are looking for ways to create a deeper connection between readers and their main character. They want to create an emotional experience and deep point of view definitely can do that, but not if you undermine the feeling that readers are IN THE STORY instead of reading a story – if that makes sense. Readers want an emotional experience in addition to being entertained.

A character’s thoughts tend to be the lifeblood of deep point of view. Internal dialogue helps to clarify the WHY for readers. Why is the MC behaving that way, reacting that way, saying that, etc. But writers switching to deep pov from non-deep point of view styles of writing struggle with too much telling in internal dialogue.

The Minset Switch

Because we want readers to feel like they’re in the story with the MC (think of it like handing a reader a virtual reality headset or going through the story like it’s a first-person shooter game), we want to avoid anything that feels like readers are being told a story.

If your story is a car and the MC is in the driver’s seat, the reader doesn’t want to sit in the stands and watch the race, sit in the backseat or ride shotgun. They want to be in the driver’s lap and see everything the driver sees, feel the vibrations in the wheel and feel the lurch with each gear shift. You break the fictive dream in deep point of view if the reader feels like they’re being told a story rather than living it vicariously through the MC.

So writing internal dialogue as though the reader is listening in comes across as author intrusion. Using internal dialogue to convey backstory or “explain” things to readers feels like author intrusion and breaks the fictive dream. You’ve just picked up your reader, taken them out of the story and plopped them right back in the theatre seats watching the story again.

Red Flags For Author Intrusion In Internal Dialogue

Deep point of view is very personal so internal dialogue works best when it feels organic. Ask whether a character would really explain this to themselves if they already know it.

There’s Bob, Cindy’s fourth boyfriend this year, but what’s he done to his hair?

There’s Bob, was he Cindy’s third or fourth boyfriend this year… What’s he done to his hair?

The information that Bob is just one of many boyfriends is “told” in the first example. The second example feels more like the character is talking to themselves, not the reader. If the character already knows who Bob is, why would they explain who he is to themselves? That’s author intrusion — the information is there just for the reader.

If the reader needs some context or information (and you can’t deliver it through dialogue), you have to frame it in such a way that it feels organic to the moment and the character.

Sentence construction using “when” or “and then” or “when this” and “then that” often leads either to author intrusion and telling OR adding unneccessary distance between the reader and the story. Does that mean you should never use those words? Of course not, but they are red flags.

I was three days into my one week vacation when the phone rang.

In deep point of view this is likely author intrusion. It’s narrator-like, isn’t it. Do you talk to yourself like this? It’s likely being passed off as internal dialogue, but it’s just the writer inserting themselves into the story. At best, it’s adding unneccessary distance for readers. If the reader needs info, it’s usually easier and more organic to have it come out via spoken dialogue.

I picked up the phone.

Hey girl! How’s your vacation?

Stella’s voice brought a grin to my lips. “OK. Four days left. I need to get out of this house.”

Structured this way, the reader is IN the story with the MC instead of having things reported to them and the reader gets the necessary information. You’ll often find writers incorporating newbies or someone new to the story because they can stand in and ask the MC questions that the MC wouldn’t think to answer because they already know the info.

I don’t remember driving home or climbing into my bed and fell asleep right away.

So, if the character doesn’t remember doing any of it then the reader can’t know about it. The character can wake up and realize they don’t remember getting there — in hindsight. You could also use a shallower pov technique to show the character’s awareness of their own actions but that you’re just moving them from point a to point b so to speak. (Yes, if you’re doing it intentionally to create a specific effect or as a story-telling tool, telling or a shallow pov is allowed.)

She stumbled through the door and fell into bed. Had she closed the door? Who cares. She shut her eyes and gave in to sleep.

You can get a copy of my book Method Acting For Writers: Learn Deep Point of View Using Emotional Layers here.

Do You Really Have Writer’s Block?

October 19, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

Is there such a thing as writer’s block? I don’t think it’s as common as writers would like to believe. I think we give the “writer’s block” label to a whole bunch of other things because we feel like we can’t do anything about writer’s block — so we’re off the hook.

Not so, my friends.

Do You Really Have Writer’s Block?

I don’t think I’m all that terribly unique to experience things in a vacuum. I’m convinced that my experiences are fairly universal when it comes to the trouble with getting words down at a rate I find acceptable. But, I’ve also come to see that what I’ve classically labelled as “writer’s block” is in face a host of other things I could do something about and just don’t want to.

Procrastination

There’s this myth that we should LOVE to write all the time. What job is like that? People get tired. They get distracted. There are sometimes other places we’d rather be, people we’d rather be with. Tasks we’d rather not do. If you have been given the impression that real writers love to write all the time and if you don’t you have writer’s block — that’s a lie. Sometimes it’s just plain old procrastination.

This could apply to a first draft, but for pantsers it most often applies to the seemingly endless revision process.

Poor Planning

This one goes hand in hand with procrastination. Sometimes, when we don’t know where the story is going next (talking to all my fellow pantsers out there), we feel stuck. We’re just not sure where to take the story next so we do nothing and call it writer’s block. In reality, if we’d take the time to sit down and do a bit of plotting (at least, this has been my way through it) or talking it out with a patient friend or partner, we can navigate our way out.

It isn’t that we don’t know what we could write or could take the story, we just want to minimize the rewriting we’ll have to do and so… We do nothing and call it writer’s block. It isn’t an inability to think creatively or write, it’s a reluctance to go the wrong direction.

Too Long In The Same Place

Get up and move around. Maybe that means moving to a new room to write or a new location. Maybe that means you pause every hour or so and do a bit of housework or go for a walk at lunch. Whatever works for you to reset your creativity and get those muscles working a bit.

When I feel stuck, I go for a walk or wash some dishes by hand. Often my best ideas come when I’m active and focused on something else that doesn’t require me to pay close attention. The shower is another place I am often able to think my way through a stuck place in a story.

Working Too Long

Did you know that most people only have 3-5 good creative hours in a day? If you’re one of those people who sit at a computer and expect to write non-stop (maybe pause for lunch) for 8 hours a day endlessly, I think you’re going to be frustrated. Make sure to incorporate other tasks into your day, either at the beginning (eat the frog) or at the end (reward).

Writers are observers. We take in life around us and then recreate what we see. If you do nothing but sit at a computer and stop actually observing and taking in life around you, how can you expect to write? Take a day off! Go for a hike. Try something small you’ve never tried before – take a cooking class, do a free gym trial, volunteer at an animal shelter. Do something small that scares you. You don’t have to jump out of a plane, but maybe that means talking to the new neighbour, trying a new class, or trying on clothes you’d never wear!

When Are You Most Creative?

Don’t feel that you have conform to whatever schedule those around you stick to. Work when you’re most creative. If that’s first thing in the morning or late at night, it’s easier to work with your internal clock than against it. Me – I have no creativity in the afternoon. None. I try to leave my marketing work for the afternoons – scheduling social media, creating social images, tinkering with the website, etc. I write in the mornings and late at night.

Now, sometimes we have life circumstances that prevent us from doing this (family, day job, etc.), so I’ve found the writing is harder when I’m working against my internal clock so I have to give myself a bit of grace for working slower than I’d like.

Fear Of (fill in the blank)

Sometimes we label our fears as writer’s block. What are you afraid of? That no one will read your work? That people won’t like your work? That you can’t get an agent? That you never seem to have all the pieces? Listen, every writer deals with those fears. Really. Every writer faces moments or seasons where they’re convinced they’re going to be exposed as the frauds they’re sure they are.

If you want to write, sit down and write. Does having someone’s approval make you a writer? Does having an agent make you a writer? WRITING MAKES YOU A WRITER! So write.

When Is Writer’s Block Actually Writer’s Block?

Opinions vary, right. Some deny that it exists at all (and I might be in that camp – see the Stephen King quote above). That said, I’ve found there have been times when all the things I’ve mentioned above don’t really apply. In my experience, writer’s block is likely more properly labelled burn out. I wrote about that here. Burnout is debilitating and devastating, and the only way out of it is to rest and take a break.

When we ignore our health, when we work too many hours for too long and have nothing to refuel our drive or energy, we burn out. Burn out is real. Take care of yourselves!

What about you? Do you think you’ve called a writing snag writer’s block when it was really one of the things (or something else) above?

I am doing a free 5 Day Deep Point Of View Challenge on Facebook starting October 22. It’ll be in a closed Facebook group. You can sign up for the waiting list here so you don’t miss out when I have all the details put together.

3 Tips On Writing Internal Conflict With Emotional Punch

September 20, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 4 Comments

Does your main character have a line in the sand, a personal boundary or belief they will not violate? This internal conflict is central stories written in deep point of view often. What happens if the character violates their belief or boundary? What would they sacrifice in order to avoid crossing that line? What would either action show readers about what kind of person they are?

In Mission Impossible: Fallout near the very beginning of the movie, Tom Cruise’s character Ethan Hunt draws a line in the sand that defines his actions for the rest of the movie. Benji is anxious about a deal they’re trying to make happen and Hunt turns to him and says, “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

That line in the sand isn’t just about Benji. Hunt means it for anyone he cares about or works with. If he feels responsible for you, he won’t let anything happen to you. (Nothing permanent, anyway.)

In the movie Law Abiding Citizen with Jamie Fox and Gerard Butler, the goal of Butler’s antagonist is to convince Fox’s lawyer character: I don’t make deals with criminals. That’s the line in the sand.

I’ll never be hungry again! – Scarlet O’Hara

What Does Internal Conflict Look Like?

Internal conflict is the experience of having opposing psychological beliefs, desires, impulses or feelings — when you believe one thing and act in a different way. If you want to Google it and learn more, you’ll want to search for cognitive dissonance. This internal conflict is often a battle between what we know and what we feel. Most of the time, people crave consistency, so this internal conflict is when we’re basically at war with ourselves but it’s how we justify our behavior or correct course. This can lead to irrational behavior.

People struggling with internal conflict are squeamish. They might turn pale or lose color. They might feel dizzy or lightheaded. They might tremble or even pass out. Most of these reactions are observable, so another character could comment on them. A character in deep point of view can share the feeling of being dizzy, trembling, feeling lightheaded, queasy or nauseous.

People justify their actions, often audibly. Consider the guy who finds the courage to talk to or ask a girl out and she brushes him off. He’ll have this inner conflict, knowing he hasn’t really lost anything and feeling rejected or unwanted. One way he might choose to create consistency again, regain control of his feelings, is to justify why it didn’t work out. She wasn’t as pretty up close. She’s actually a snob and I’m better off without her. Or perhaps he decides she wants him to work harder so he doubles down and creates consistency between what he believes and how he feels that way.

Another facet of the above point is ignoring what’s plain to everyone else. The woman in an abusive relationship might know her boyfriend is toxic to her wellbeing, but feels like she can’t leave. Leaving means being alone, means supporting herself, means not knowing what tomorrow might bring.

It could mean that every derogatory thing he’s ever said to her is actually true, and she’s sure she’d face any negative consequences he’s threatened. So to create consistency between what she knows and feels, she avoids acknowledging the abuse. She justifies or explains away his behavior so that she doesn’t have to do anything about it.

What Emotional Layers Could Be At Play With Internal Conflict

There are dozens of emotions possible with internal conflict based on what’s at stake, right. In Laurel K. Hamilton’s Blue Moon, the protagonist Anita Blake doesn’t believe in torture. But there’s a short scene where she’s desperate to get the truth from someone and resorts to torture. She crossed her own line in the sand. She’s disregarded what she knows and gave in to how she felt.

The fallout of that is her renewed faith in the boundary that she won’t torture, and when it comes up again in the novel where she needs information from someone and is encouraged to expedite the process with pain, she refuses and that costs her emotionally. As soon as a character questions their abilities or self-worth and sees themselves falling short in some way, we have shame.

Shame is a very powerful emotion to play with as a writer. Shame doesn’t tell us we did a bad thing, shame says we are bad. Shame is so heavy, such a burden emotionally that typically people will do anything to get out from under that weight. But shame is a secondary emotion, so work backwards and identify the primary emotions that would cause shame.

Subtext Is Needed For Internal Conflict

The only way internal conflict works as a story device for emotional arc is when the reader is aware of the conflict in the protagonist. The best way to show this to readers is to use subtext. This is a more advanced fiction writing tool, but if you can master subtext you’ll take your writing to another level. Subtext is what’s not being said, it’s the unspoken communication. I’ve written about subtext here and here and here.

Can you think of a movie or book that had really great internal conflict that ratcheted up the stakes for the protagonist?

Get your copy of Method Acting for Writers: Learn Deep Point of View Using Emotional Layers on Amazon or Kobo.

How To Discover Your Author Voice And Why You Probably Already Know It

August 24, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 2 Comments

One of the things many writers get hung up on (and I did too) was finding their writer or author voice. It feels like this elusive, ethereal thing that you chase and have about as much chance of catching as netting the wind. You never feel like you’ve “found” it and some writers spend years beating their heads against a wall trying to sort it all out.

Have a seat – here’s some ice – let’s look at this with a bit of objectivity.

What Is Your Writer’s Voice?

Many people confuse marketing and branding with voice. These are not the same thing and once I figured out the differences between them this all got a lot easier. Give yourself a bit of a break here if you feel like you just can’t figure this out. If you’ve got these mixed up, it’ll be like trying to fit a moose inside an Amazon box. It just don’t fit.

Your writer or author voice is very simple. The stories you choose to tell and how you choose to tell them is your author voice. This is what distinguishes Stephen King from Margaret Atwood from Stephanie Meyer from Nicholas Sparks. Each of these writers has a unique-to-them approach and style in their storytelling. Their author voice is the same from book to book and the story details they choose to emphasize or skim over is part of voice. (This is not to be confused with character voice which should be different between characters in each stories and between characters in books.)

An author’s voice may change over the years if a writer’s been at it a while, but that’s because an author’s voice is simply an extension — a collection if you will — of what’s imortant to them, what they value, what they shake their fist at, what they can’t ignore, etc. Voice is personal and intimate and I think that’s why one of the most common questions writers are asked is – is X-character like you? Our characters are often seen as an extension of ourselves.

I have found that my voice is better suited to certain genres. For instance, I often include a romantic subplot in my stories, but I don’t write romance. Why? Marketing and Branding.

What Is Author Branding?

Author branding (or marketing – I try not to use that word around writers, we get twitchy) is the promise you make to readers. When you pick up a Stephen King novel (with a few notable exceptions) what are you expecting to read? A fast-paced, disturbing, horror novel – right? That “promise” is partly genre, but it’s partly author voice too. When you pick up a Nora Roberts novel, you expect strong female characters–it’s part of her brand and her voice. If she put out a pirate romance or tentacle porn, readers would be upset. Some readers will follow you from one genre to another becaues they love your voice, some follow you because they love your voice in that genre.

Disappointed readers don’t buy more of your books.

Where The Confusion Happens

I spent a few years helping writers with social media. I still do to a small extent, but I’m not teaching on it anymore. So, what many of my students struggled with was this crossover between voice and branding online. On Facebook (or any social channel really), you need to decide what persona you’re going to put forth. This persona should absolutely be real and authentic, but you’re allowed to withhold aspects of yourself, your life, your passions, your pasttimes, from those viewing your content online. What and how much you put forth is branding. How you craft posts, the tone, the emotion you add to that content – is author voice.

Does this make sense?

Stop Making Author Voice So Hard

All of the books you’ve read, the people you’ve met, the issues and topics you’re passionate about, your education and upbringing — all of that makes up your author voice. There are some authors who won’t write graphic violence or sex, others want to include all the dirty details of the intimate lives of their characters. Some will only write books with happy endings, or happily ever after endings. Others insist on keeping their fiction as real as possible and are OK with an ending that may not satisfy every reader. Those are author voice choices and there’s no right or wrong–there’s only a right and wrong FOR YOU!

Now, it’s important that you know your author voice well. What kinds of stories do you find yourself telling over and over again? What kinds of characters constantly find their way into your books? Rebels? Good girls? What kinds of challenges do you find yourself throwing at your characters? Are you more focused on your characters reaching a defined goal (solving the crime, getting the girl) or in growing and changing emotionally? Maybe there’s a blending of those things.

Once you know what kinds of stories you’re most drawn to telling, then look to the branding. Genre is a marketing box. It helps readers know what to expect. So, earlier I said that even though I almost compulsively have romantic subplots in my books I don’t write romance. Romance novels (and their various subgenres) promise certain things to readers that I don’t deliver. I’m not very good at Happily Ever After. Sometimes I am, but it makes me twitch to think every story has to be tied up in a neat and happy red bow. (For others, they’re not interested in telling a story that ends any other way.) I don’t market my books as romance because I don’t/can’t make the promises to readers they expect when they pick up a romance novel.

If you love reading historicals, the details and authenticity of places, times, dress, and people is important. If you get those details wrong, readers are upset. If you love authentically true historical stories AND romantic plots with a happy ending, then historical romance might be a good fit for you. Many historical fans read to learn about the history so you have to get that right. If those details aren’t super important to you as a writer but you like the mystery or exoticism of the past (this is part of voice) then perhaps you’re better to write historical fantasy where the details of the past can be fudged a little, skewed here and there to suit the story, and readers are OK with that.

Trying to write to genre when that genre doesn’t match your author voice is going to feel constraining. You might feel like you’re selling out all the time and then writing’s no fun. Writer, know thyself first and then create the brand and marketing around your unique-to-you voice not the other way around. And yes, this takes time and it means you have to write a lot to figure it all out. There may be some stories you set aside for now for the sake of building a brand.

A Real Life Example

Stephen King successfully published many horror novels like Carrie, The Shining, Salem’s Lot, The Stand all before he began exploring other genres. He tried to publish under a pseudonym and this is how wiki reports that was discovered:

“In the late 1970s and early 1980s, King published a handful of short novels–Rage (1977), The Long Walk (1977), Roadwork (1981), The Running Man (1979), and Thinner (1984)–under the pseudonym Richard Bachman…Richard Bachman was exposed as King’s pseudonym by a persistent Washington, D.C. bookstore clerk, Steve Brown, who noticed similarities between the works and later located the publisher’s records at the Library of Congress that named King as the author of one of Bachman’s novels.”

That’s author voice!

How long did it take you to discover your author voice? What’s distinctive about YOUR author voice?

**Make sure to pick up Method Acting For Writers: Learn Deep Point Of View Using Emotional Layers on Amazon in print or ebook.**

4 Point of View Breaks That Sneak In Even When You Know Better

April 13, 2018 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

Point of view errors break the fictive dream for readers. This is a problem in general, but in deep point of view where the aim is to create an immersive experience for a reader – this is equivalent of ripping off the virtual reality goggles without warning. A little jarring at best, enough to make you walk away from the story at worst.

What’s A POV Break?

You must remain in one character’s head at any given time unless you’re writing in omniscient pov. I don’t know of anyone writing in omniscient pov anymore, but you’ll commonly find it in the classic novels written 50+ years ago.

“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.” JRR Tolkien, The Hobbit

In deep point of view, the reader is wearing the virtual reality goggles and they become your main character. They know everything your character knows, but only what your character knows. This limited point of view writing style means there’s lots of little places where we can cheat and sneak in information that our character has no way of knowing. When we do this, we break the fictive dream for readers.

POV Character Labeling Their Own Emotions

Naming or labeling an emotion is a POV break. Avoid telling the reader how your character feels. How often do you pause and think to yourself – I’m sad. I’m angry. Probably not often, right. In deep point of view, the characters emotions are FELT rather than labeled usually. Now, your main character can identify an emotion in another character but this is a bit of a tight rope.

Shane walked with his hands in his pockets and kicked a can down the street. Depressed, he didn’t want to go home. “Nobody would miss me anyway.”

This is an example of a writer who knows to show not tell but doesn’t trust the reader to figure it out.

Depressed, Shane walked home. “Nobody’s going to miss me anyway.”

This is just telling. There’s no showing here at all.

Shane walked with his hands in his pockets and kicked a can down the street. “Nobody would miss me anyway.”

POV Character Knowing Other’s Emotions

Sometimes the pov break with emotions comes in through other characters. While we might remember that labeling the emotion of our point of view character is wrong, the emotions of other characters tend to slip in.

Jared looked at me and his grief was etched into the creases on his face.

How does my character KNOW the reason for that expression is grief? One way around it is to qualify it for readers.

Jared looked at me and it seemed like his grief was etched into the creases on his face.

As if, seems to, looked like… these types of phrases qualify to the reader that your character is making a guess. They are looking at externals and making an educated guess about how someone feels.

The other way to handle this is avoid naming the emotion and simply present observable details and let the reader decide what the other character is feeling – filtered through what your point of view character knows of the person or situation.

Jared stared at me, his eyes filling up with tears. Half a laugh seemed to erupt from him and he swiped at his eyes. “Look at me. You’d think my mother died not my dog.”

POV Characters Seeing Themselves

First, when your point of view character is describing themselves, can we do away with cataloging features common to every human – like two eyes, a nose, a mouth and so on? Just listing physical features tells the reader very little about your character. Second, most of the time, your point of view character can’t see themselves. They can’t see their faces turn red. They can’t see the smirk on their lips. They can’t see the glow of the fire on their face.

They can FEEL things. They can feel their face heat up from a blush. Instead of “a smirk crossed his lips” instead write “he smirked” or “his mouth pulled to one side” because he can feel those things. Your character might know they have blue eyes, but make sure there’s an organic reason for them to think about this. I can’t remember the last time I sat and thought about the color of my eyes, for instance. Although if you’re writing a self-conscious or beauty-preoccupied teen this might work.

POV Characters Knowing The Thoughts/Motivations Of Others

This one can sneak in if you’re not on the watch for it. In deep point of view, remember that the reader knows everything the main character does – but only what the main character knows.

Steve didn’t even pause to think about my request.

How does the point of view character know this? They can’t know what Steve is thinking. Instead, you could use a qualifying phrase – seems like, looks like, etc. Or you could let your main character observe Steve’s body language.

Steve grabbed my hand and shook on the deal before I could meet his handshake half way.

POV Characters Knowing Things They Can’t See

This happens when we (the writer) step in to make sure the reader knows about something going on that the point of view character doesn’t know. If our point of view character doesn’t know, the reader can’t know either in deep point of view.

Sarah turned to greet the latest guests and didn’t notice Martha slip a fork in her pocket.

If Sarah didn’t see it, wasn’t told about, she can’t share it with the reader. Sarah could turn back around and notice the fork missing and observe an odd expression on Martha’s face, or notice Martha suddenly leave.

My personal favorite are the buzzards circling above the house and the main character is still in bed with the bedroom curtains still closed.

Hope this was helpful. Where do POV breaks sneak into your work?

Want to learn more about deep point of view? Heard about it and don’t know what it’s really about? Been told readers struggle to connect with your characters emotionally? Know about deep point of view, but stumped trying to find intermediate-level resources? Registration is now open for Method Acting For Writers: Learn To Write In Deep Point Of View. Class begins May 7 and the cost is $165CDN (approx $130USD).