17 Things To Know About Deep POV Before You Start Writing

April 18, 2022 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 2 Comments

I LOVE deep POV, but there’s a lot of confusion about what it is and what it isn’t, how it works, what genre or tense you must use – lots of questions and a lot of confusion. I wanted to put together a list of things many people don’t realize before doing a two-footed jump in the deep end of deep POV.

Very Few Novels Are Written ENTIRELY In Deep POV

I’m often asked for recommendations for novels written entirely in deep POV, and I struggle to find many. Not many bestsellers use deep POV exclusively. And there’s a reason for that. Deep POV is intense, it can bog down the pace, and not every scene or character is suited to using deep POV. This is a stylistic technique you keep in your writer’s toolbox. Some writers try to stick close to deep POV most of the time, some use it only for key emotional moments. There’s no rules (though, I believe romance generally trends towards using deep POV most of the time).

The key is to know how each scene moves the story ahead, what work each scene needs to do in telling the larger story, and be strategic with the tools you use to create specific effects. That said, I have a list on this blog post if you’re looking for examples.

I’m sharing these titles with the caveat that EVERY novel MUST use telling in places, and in genres where there’s a lot of storyworld building such as fantasy or historicals, the tolerance for it is higher than in some other genres like contemporary romance.

Deep POV Is A Hard Technique To Learn (If You Haven’t Read A Lot In This Style)

Deep POV is not intuitive if you’ve spent a lot of time reading other point of view styles. Many accepted stylistic choices in other point of view styles undermine the immersive effect deep POV aims to create for readers. Those new to learning deep POV often say there’s a steep learning curve because you have to think differently about how you tell the story, the details you choose to focus on, how those details and thoughts are shared.

Emotional Depth Is What Makes Deep POV Powerful

The power of deep POV is in the depth and exploration of the character’s emotional journey. That emotional journey is what readers find so compelling. Stories that utilize a lot of action, that use characters who aren’t prone to self-reflection or thinking, may not be well-suited to being written entirely in deep POV. Deep POV used for key emotional points in stories like these, when used effectively and strategically, are very powerful for inciting incidents, mirror moments, black moments, etc.

There’s More To Deep POV Than The Same 4 Rules

There’s so much MORE to deep POV than most blog posts tell you there is. If you don’t have a goal of writing entirely in deep POV, it’s easy to give a summary explanation of remove dialogue tags, show don’t tell, remove emotion words, remove filter words – and believe that’s all there is to it.

Deep POV is actually very complex and requires a fair amount of strategy to use well. Yes, these four aspects are the most-talked about, but if you don’t learn to recognize the author/narrator voice, get curious about emotional depth, learn to use subtext, learn to use telling strategically, deep POV will be endlessly frustrating and will fall flat with readers and editors.

Deep POV Is Often Added In The Rewrites

I’m often asked how long it took me to learn deep POV. I’m still learning and I’ve been writing deep POV exclusively for more than ten years. What I have found is that deep POV is best edited for, rather than attempted on a first draft. You can learn all the “rules” of deep POV and put out a first draft that immerses readers in the story, but getting curious about and creating reader surprise in the character’s emotional journey in each scene is hard heart work and I reserve an entire read-through JUST for deep POV.

Now, I mean the emotional aspect of deep POV. Learning the red flag words to avoid, removing telling and the author voice, etc. Those are all aspects that you can achieve on a first draft with a lot of practise. But that emotional work, depending on your own writing preferences, may be done on a second draft (planners), it may be a tenth draft (pantsers), but it’s work best saved for after you’ve gotten the plot and pace settled first.

Deep POV Is Not Limited Third, Is Not First Person

Many many people do not understand what deep POV really is. First person is not automatically deep POV. First person allows for author/narrator narration, summary, explanation, conclusions, etc. that would be considered telling in deep POV.

Limited third, close third – this is not deep POV. Let’s just do a quick recap of POV styles:

Omniscient POV – (either first person or third person) the author/narrator tells a story about a character or a group of characters. The narrator/author is not a part of the story, but knows everything about how the characters feel, and what happens next. Ex. Lord Of The Rings, Of Mice And Men, The Ocean At The End Of The Lane

Objective Third Person POV – the author tells the story objectively, without adding emotions, motivations, or thoughts from the character Ex. The Lottery by Shirley Jackson

Limited Third Person POV – the author tells a story about ONE character at a time (this is the ‘limited’ part of this POV style), and may share some of the character’s thoughts directly with the reader (often using italics to set the character’s thoughts apart from the narrator/writer voice).

Deep POV – The character lives out the story in real time, immersing the reader in their emotional journey. There is NO author/narrator voice. Every word on the page comes from within the POV character. Every. Word.

Many take my class believing they’re writing limited third person, but are actually writing in objective third person. Their learning curve is even greater because not only do they have to shift how they tell the story to eliminate the author voice, they also must learn how to write emotions and thoughts that come from within the POV character.

https://lisahallwilson.com/use-beats-in-deep-pov-to-convey-emotion/

Deep POV Works For Almost Every Genre

Deep POV requires enough reader maturity and insight to understand body language, social cues, subtext, etc. So, it’s not well-suited to MG or Children’s Lit.

There are some genres that are well suited to deep POV, romance genres for instance, where the character’s internal life is a focus of the story. Some writers think you can’t use deep POV for genres like mystery or suspense or cozies, because the POV character can’t keep secrets from the reader, but that’s just not true. You can’t keep secrets, but that’s not the only way to write those stories, nor does not keeping secrets remove or undercut the potential for tension.

Deep POV Limits Where The Reader Can Get Information From

With deep POV, the reader knows everything the POV character knows, thinks, feels, wants, sees, intuits, learns. The reader should know the character’s preferences, prejudices, past experience, expertise, etc (without using telling or info dumps). But that’s ALL the reader knows.

Learning to recognize POV breaks in deep POV is another challenge that many blogs don’t mention. If your character wouldn’t know x or be aware of y, then they can’t share that info with the reader. The POV character can guess what another thinks, feels, wants, or knows, but they don’t KNOW unless the other character tells them.

The POV character can’t know what the weather is like outside if they don’t check a weather forecast or they somehow interact with the outside world, and they need a reason to think about the weather. As a Canadian, I generally don’t give much thought to the fact that it will be cold or snowing outside in January. It’s a given. What makes me think about the weather is keeping track of incoming storms, force me to drive somewhere in it, have to bundle up for a walk, then I think about the weather.

The POV character can’t know something, actively think of it, but not share that with the reader. There can be things from the character’s past they don’t think about actively on a weekly, daily, or moment-to-moment basis. But if something happens that triggers emotions from the past, the use of subtext should at least hint at what’s happened. Keeping secrets from the reader without a POV break is really hard.

Show Don’t Tell Is Taken To A Whole New Level With Deep POV

Many blogs will tell you to remove emotion words, to avoid writing: he is sad, she is anxious, he waved anxiously, she clapped with enthusiasm… That’s just the beginning. Remember, the goal is to immerse the reader in the story so the feeling that they’re being TOLD a story is removed and they’re instead vicariously living out this journey alongside the POV character – a fly on the wall inside their heads.

In deep POV, “telling” includes author intrusion, POV breaks, narrative or psychic distance, and the above emotion and thinking words. Those that love flowery descriptions and objectively listing all the items in a room will find their wings clipped in deep POV unless these are details the character would notice or think about. Even word choice is character dependent. A mechanic might label the parts of an engine, a fashionista might identify individual designers, a gardening enthusiast will know a pothos from a philodendron – but most people will not. It’s a car, it’s an engine, it’s a dress or a pair of shoes, it’s a plant… Deep POV really puts the character’s internal world at front and centre.

https://lisahallwilson.com/4-ways-to-replace-dialogue-with-subtext-even-new-writers-can-master/

Deep POV Is A Stylistic Choice, It’s Not About Voice Or Genre

Writing an entire novel only in deep POV is better suited to some genres than others, this is true – but it is possible (and would be compelling) to write a thriller, or a mystery, or a historical in this style. It requires a shift in how you tell the story.

Deep POV does not affect what kind of story you tell – your author voice. Your author voice is about what kind of story you tell, and how you tell it. Deep POV does not require steamy sex scenes or graphic violence, it requires emotional depth. Are you willing to “go there” with your characters? Are you willing to get really curious about what emotions are present, and all the complexities of the emotions felt but not expressed? You must learn to ask yourself what ELSE is going on internally with this character. What do they wish they could do – and why don’t they do that? What do they want, but can’t express or allow space for?

Identifying The Narrator/Writer Voice In Deep POV Is Difficult

This is an aspect of deep POV that seems to hit people unexpectedly. Identifying the narrator/writer voice, learning its function, is the second biggest obstacle for new writers learning to write in deep POV. Intermediate and advanced writers already know what the author/narrator voice is, what function it serves, so learning to write without it is much easier (though I still wouldn’t say it’s intuitive unless you’ve read a lot in this style).

Writing emotions in deep POV without using the narrator/author voice to summarize, explain, justify, conclude, is a learning curve.

You Learn Deep POV Best By Doing It

Deep POV is not intuitive, and depending on your prior skill level can come with a very steep learning curve. This technique is best learned by writing it and getting prompt feedback. There’s a lot to take in. Having a community to help you learn is really really helpful.

Otherwise, you end up learning like I did – slowly, painfully, frustratingly…

I would go to a conference and have an agent or editor meeting, and they’d point out one phrase, or something like removing dialogue tags – as not being in deep POV. I’d think I’ve got it. I might read a few blog posts that pointed out a couple of other things, and I would go the next conference only to be told, you need to remove this to be in deep POV. Over and over that happened. When you only get one cog in the mechanism at a time, nothing works and the learning is super slow.

Not all editors/beta readers understand deep POV

I’ve had many students complain to me that their editor or beta reader flagged this or that aspect of deep POV as wrong. Deep POV is a specific technique that throws out a lot of accepted things, and incorporates other things other POV styles avoid.

Be aware of this when getting feedback. When employing an editor, ask them if they know and understand deep POV, ask for a sample edit and see what they do with the deep POV aspect of your writing.

Deep POV Is Not A Beginner’s Technique

If you’re just beginning to learn writing, deep POV will present a massive learning curve. I like to say deep POV is the cosmetic final layer to building a house. I watch a lot of historical building reno shows from the UK. They take a derelict historical building, and the first thing they must do is make it water-tight and structurally sound. No one is picking curtain fabric or bathroom fixtures until all that work is done.

It won’t matter how pretty the curtains are if the walls won’t stand up. If you are a beginning writer, just know that there’s a steep learning curve ahead of you to learn this technique AND plot, structure, characterization, tension, pace, emotional arc, etc.

Deep POV, without all the foundational aspects of writing fiction in place, is going to shine a giant spotlight on where things are weak. The caveat to all this is if you’ve spent a lot of time reading deep POV and that’s the style that comes to you intuitively.

This class runs 2-4 times a year. It is open April and October 2022.

Deep POV Can Be Past Or Present Tense

Tense is really the wrong question when it comes to deep POV. The goal is to write immersively, and in real time. Can you do that in past tense? Yes. Can you do that in present tense? Yes. Most of us find one or the other usually comes to us more naturally than the other, so go with your preference. Sometimes, genre can dictate tense as well. Deep POV works equally well with either style.

Deep POV Really Brings Your Character’s Voice To The Forefront

Deep POV, because every word on the page comes from within the POV character, that character’s voice: their worldview, prejudices, motivations, past experiences, priorities – all of it is expressed in word choice, in what they focus on or ignore, what’s normal to them, what they pursue, what they give up on, what they suppress, what they express…

This is part of how deep POV creates that immersive effect for readers. But it means you have to set aside how YOU would describe something. You have to cut descriptions of things the character wouldn’t notice, or use words your character wouldn’t use. It’s like handing the reader virtual reality goggles for your character – you, the writer, don’t have a voice.

Writing Emotions Is Hardest Part Of Learning Deep POV

Removing the author/narrator voice can be super challenging. Learning to remove all the telling (emotion words, thinking words, sense words) for instance, can be a huge obstacle and leave writers floundering. Writers mistakenly think this is the hardest part about learning deep POV. It’s not.

Once you’ve learned to remove all these words, phrases, storytelling devices to create this immersive in-real-time effect, you must now add the emotion back in without using those telling techniques. Learning where, and how, and when to add emotional complexity and depth is the black belt level of deep POV and where the real magic happens.

Two to four times a year, I run a deep POV masterclass online. Two units of this masterclass are available all the time, but the interactive course that provides oodles of feedback and a supportive community only opens a few times a year. It’s open for April 2022. Find out more info here.

1 Pro Tip To Create Emotional Depth In Deep POV

December 9, 2021 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 2 Comments

I have mainly been writing guest posts for other blogs and neglecting my own. *sad face* So, I’m hoping to post here more regularly going forward, but it will mean shorter posts. *mittened fist-bump*

One of the things that writers seem to struggle with a lot when shifting from limited third person to deep point of view is using the character’s whole body to show emotions. We learn to remove the telling emotion and thought words, but don’t add in how the emotion feels – the emotions stay in this cerebral thinking mode that doesn’t really immerse the reader in how the character feels.

Limited third person POV allows the writer/author voice to summarize, explain, and justify how a character feels. Whereas deep point of view asks the writer to remove their own voice and capture what the pov character sees, perceives, feels, intuits, etc without that narrative explanation, justification or summarization.

With narrator/writer voice: Jarrah’s heart was breaking and he didn’t even care. How could he betray her like that again and expect her to believe the same lies? She wanted to double over with the pain filling her chest. Steve’s fake contriteness was nothing more than a smoke screen. “I’m not buying it this time.”

Without narrator/writer voice: Steve slouched his shoulders and peered up at her like a contrite puppy. He even made his lips quiver as though he was on the verge of tears. “It just happened. It didn’t mean anything. I swear.” He wrapped his hands around hers as though he shared his warmth. “It’s you I love.”

Jarrah snatched back her hands from his icy grip and folded her arms over her heart. He couldn’t even come up with a new act. Same explanation, same affectation. Every. Single. Time. She would not cry. She drew in a deep breath and stiffened her spine even though her heart bled out. “I’m not buying it this time.”

Do you see the difference with the writer/narrator voice and without? The reader must lean in and perceive the betrayal, the heartache, the resolve that’s breaking her heart.

Add In Reactions

When something happens in the story, look for your POV character’s emotional reaction. You’ve likely built in a thinking reaction – he was stunned, she gulped, etc. Many of these reactions are either telling (the writer/narrator voice is explaining, summarizing or justifying) or you’ve used a simple beat (just an action) when you need to upgrade to a complex beat (action that conveys emotion).

Let’s say Sherry has just found out she’s been fired for something someone else did.

Simple beat:

Sherry stuffed her hands in her pockets. “I don’t understand.”

Sherry shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

“I don’t…” She stared at the floor. “I don’t understand.”

Complex beat:

Sherry’s throat constricted, strangling her words. “I don’t… I… Why?”

“I don’t…” Sherry choked on the lump in her throat, coughing. “I…” Her vision blurred with tears. She sucked in a deep breath to regain her voice. “Why?”

When the emotional reaction remains solely in the character’s head, in just their thoughts, it keeps the reader at a distance from the tension you’re creating. The goal of deep pov is to immerse the reader in the lived experience of the character’s journey.

The Body As An Orchestra For Communication

We feel emotions with our whole bodies. When we relegate emotions just to our heads, to our thoughts, that’s usually a sign of trauma – of dissociation. And if that’s what you’re going for that’s fine. The character can puzzle through why something that should hurt, does not. Or be thankful that this awful thing doesn’t affect them. This clues the reader in that something is off.

But without that trauma or shock element, emotions should be felt throughout the whole body. Tension is felt in the shoulders, spine, joints, jaw, fingers/fists, gut, heart rate, perspiration, stability (sensation of weak joints or limbs, or quivering/shaking/trembling). You can show confusion, distraction, frustration, etc through disordered pacing, gestures that are truncated or jumbled – frantic movements that are inefficient or nonsensical – looking for keys in the fridge for instance.

Emotion can be heard when we speak. How does your character’s voice change with emotion – not just volume (whisper, yell), but in tone, cadence/rhythm, or pitch? In North America, our voices rise in pitch just a smidge to communicate a question or surprise. Ever listened in on one side of a phone call between spouses? I shared very thin office walls with two men in long-standing committed marriages, and I couldn’t hear the words that were spoken through the walls, but I could tell just by the way the tone of their voices deepened, softened, slowed, that they were speaking to their wives.

How does your character’s posture or movements change with their emotions? Even emotions they want to keep hidden affect things that are outwardly observable (a point to keep in mind when your POV character is evaluating how someone else feels). Women (in North America at any rate) often affect a smaller posture when flirting or trying to gain the romantic attentions of someone else. We preen when feeling insecure (straighten tie, suck in gut, smooth out wrinkles or tug on hems, etc.)

Even very slight shifts in stance, shifting of feet or avoiding eye contact can communicate quite a lot.

Application

Will you use this tip? Take one chapter of your manuscript and find a simple beat that stands in for the emotion/telling word you removed or wanted to write. And go deeper using some of these tips for showing emotional reactions. Try to have the emotion felt in the entire body, instead of remaining in the character’s head.

5 Pro Tips On Writing Description In Deep Point Of View

December 31, 2019 by Lisa Hall-Wilson Leave a Comment

Woop! Let’s give 2019 a giant kick out the door and welcome in 2020 with a bang! Beginning January 1^st, I am launching 30 Days Of Deep POV on my Facebook page, where I’ll be creating a video a day based on my 30 most popular blog posts (including guest posts) on deep point of view (t. Don’t miss out! Join the fun on Facebook!

I am continuing the Deep POV FAQ series and today’s question is: how do I add more pertinent details without boring my readers?

I get asked this A LOT concerning writing in deep point of view. I’ve blogged about writing description here and here. Here and here. But it is hard to know what you should expand on or cut way back, so let’s get super practical right now. Because to you – ALL the details are important. So how do you know what to keep and what to get rid of?

How Much Does The Reader Need To Know NOW?

Some details are important for the reader to know – to understand the story, but resist the temptation to deliver all of it at once. Ask – how much does the reader need to know RIGHT NOW to understand what’s going on? My personal rule for backstory is to answer one question and leave the reader with two more. Drip. Drip. Drip. Same rule applies here with description. Scene by scene, drip-drip-drip, ask yourself what information the reader absolutely needs to know to understand what’s going on right now. Does the reader need to know the history of THAT coffee table RIGHT NOW, or does the reader just need to know that there’s an interesting coffee table that catches her eye because right now something is more important to the character?

It’s better to deliver information to the reader through dialogue than a narrative passage, it’s more fun to read and is less likely to slow the pace. Think of the Immortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare. Clary knows nothing about the shadow world, about shadowhunters, so she’s always asking questions and needing things explained to her. Her questions deliver the information the reader needs to know to understand the story, but Clary couldn’t possibly know all the questions to ask in Chapter One. She has to keep moving forward and ask questions as they come up, on a need-to-know basis. That’s the best way to think of it. Keep the story moving ahead always.

For Those Who Love Flowery, Flowing, Descriptive Passages…

If this is you, probably you find that you have to edit out big sections of narrative (and it feels a bit like you’re gutting the heart of the story). First, you can’t fix something that isn’t written, so a pat on the back for getting the words down. That’s the first big hurdle.

With deep point of view, every bit of information given to the reader is filtered through the point of view character – not you, the writer. The goal of deep point of view, remember, is for the writer to disappear and for the reader to feel like they’re IN the story with the character. Ask yourself, at the beginning of any scene, what’s your POV character’s motivation in this scene? Sounds like something an actor would ask, but it works here too. Because, whatever your POV character is zoned in on determines what they notice, ignore, explain away, take in but don’t linger over, etc.

I often use the example of a teenage boy home from school who’s hungry. (yes, this might be an example ripped straight from my own life). The boy won’t notice the new paint on the wall, that the furniture has been rearranged, that mom’s got a new haircut – nothing. (all true stories) What he will notice is that the dog is wet when it jumps on him. He’ll notice if there’s a smell in the house that hints at baking taking place. He will have catalogued everything in the fridge and know if something’s been added or removed (say, leftover pizza).

This filtering of details is super important in deep point of view. A character who’s eager to impress or please, might trip over themselves offering compliments or searching for something they think the other person is proud of. A guy who’s walked into the local coffee shop and sees his girl sitting with some other guy will notice different things than the friends who are standing right next to him. It’s not that those other things don’t exist, but the details are filtered through what’s important to that character right now.

Additionally, remember that the reader does 80% of the work of description. If I tell you that a female walks into a male co-worker’s office, shuts the blinds, slips out of her heels and pops open the top three buttons on her blouse – does it matter what colour the carpet is, or if the desk between them is mahogany or oak? Ask what would THAT character focus on, IN THAT MOMENT? That’s what the reader gets to know about. Cut everything else.

The Details Given Specificity Are Considered Important By Readers

One of the pitfalls of deep point of view is falling into what’s called writing on the nose. This is when every movement is described in a blow-by-blow account that doesn’t serve the story. This needless description frustrates readers because the story’s pace moves at a glacial speed. Remember, the more time you spend describing anything, the more importance the reader will assume it to have. Whether it’s an object on a table, the table itself, or even the walk to answer the door, if it’s important to the character in that moment it had better help move the story forward. Be ruthless about this.

Some writers love these sweeping all-encompassing descriptions of setting. The moon, the stars, the wind through the trees, the crickets, the blah blah blah. Keep in mind that these sections of description slow the pace of your story, so be strategic with them. If it’s true to the character to notice the colours of the setting sun and reminisce about some childhood memory, that’s fine, but be strategic with the pacing. In the middle of a chase scene is not the place for that kind of narrative. Also, drip-drip-drip. It’s hard to justify giving more than a couple lines to this kind of description. If it’s a paragraph, two paragraphs, half a page or more, be very objective about whether the reader needs all that information in that spot.

What is the norm for the genre you’re writing in? Some genres make more room for these types of descriptive passages than others.

Use Description To Show More About Your Characters

Yes, it’s good to be specific when possible because it helps the reader picture the scene better. However, one pitfall to watch out for is giving the character knowledge they don’t actually possess. I can open the hood of my vehicle and find where to add wiper fluid, where to check the oil and add oil… and that’s about it. I’m sure those parts have proper names but I don’t know them. You wouldn’t have to tell a reader your character is a mechanic if they can open the hood and actually name all the parts and know their function, or recognize a problem in a particular part by a sound.

I can walk into a garden (near where I live) and name many of the plants growing in any season. My husband notices flower colours. I couldn’t tell you one designer hand bag from another, but I know what expensive looks like.

Use this filter to give the reader information about your character. This is part of show don’t tell. If I’m reading about a character who can walk into a new-to-them garden and name many of the plants, I assume they know a lot about gardening. The writer wouldn’t have to tell me that. But if your character knows everything about everything, I can’t discern anything about their character.

Additionally, does this garden-loving character get upset that the Irises are planted too deep (and now won’t flower), or do they take a moment to recall the Latin name for the plant? These small details give insight into the character, but are just a drip, drip, drip of information. The reader may not catch every single hint, but they’ll catch enough to get to know your character. It’s just a phrase, not even a whole sentence, of this kind of description filtered through what’s important to the character, that really brings a character and a story to life for readers.

Ask Your Beta Readers

In the end, knowing what to keep and what to cut comes down to how well you’re communicating ideas that you feel are important/vital to the story you want to tell and the characters you’ve created. Take the time to interview your beta readers. Pick out a particular scene, ask them how it made them feel? What did they love? Where were they tempted to skim? Know what effect you were going for in that scene and blatantly ask if you pulled that off. Ask more than one beta reader.

This is the kind of feedback that will help you learn where to be clearer, where you can lean closer to what might feel like melodrama to you, or where to cut back because the point is being muddied or the passage skimmed because there’s too many details. Ask people who love your genre, but will be honest with you. Beta readers who are afraid to hurt your feelings are all that helpful, ultimately — not if you’re looking to improve your writing.

Are you a writer who writes very sparse on a first draft and has to edit in description, or are you a writer who loves to add description and has to later go back and edit much of it out? How do YOU decide what to keep?

Been told you should learn Deep Point Of View? Had an editor or critique partner tell you to “go deeper” with the emotions in your fiction? Looking for a community of writers seeking to create emotional connections with readers? Check out the Free Resource Hub and then join the Going Deeper With Emotions In Fiction Facebook group.

How To Write With Immediacy In Fiction

December 12, 2019 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 3 Comments

We’re continuing in our FAQ series on Deep POV. The question that came in was: How do you write with immediacy?

There are a few foundational rules with deep point of view and writing with immediacy and removing distance are two of them. If you don’t write with immediacy you add perceived distance between the reader and the story, which is exactly what deep pov tries to eliminate. As I considered this question, I realized that I haven’t written much about this here or in my book, so let’s break this down.

Simply put, immediacy is writing as though everything in the story is happening right now.

Is Past Or Present Tense More Immediate?

Some writers get hung up on writing in past or present tense when asked about immediacy. Are you writing He is… or He was…? With deep point of view, there isn’t a right or wrong answer here. You can write in deep pov with immediacy equally well in past or present tense.

Is First Or Third Person Better?

Again – wrong question. I see many blogs out there saying first person is more intimate than third person, but I disagree. Written equally well, a reader can immerse themselves just as well in a first or third person story. Some readers will have a preference, many writers have a preference, one or the other is more popular in some genres.

I would like to clarify that writing in first person doesn’t automatically make your writing deep point of view (or more immediate). I’ve written about first or third person here. This is a distraction in the discussion about writing with immediacy or deep point of view.

What Is Writing With Immediacy?

Writing with immediacy is capturing the story as the character moves through a scene. Think of it like strapping a GoPro to your point of view character (POVC).

If story is a car, omniscient POV puts the reader in the back seat away from the action. A limited POV puts the reader in the shotgun seat beside the driver. Deep point of view puts the reader in the POVC’s lap in the driver’s seat. They see/hear/know/learn/feel everything the POVC does, but that’s ALL they know. The entire story is filtered through the POVC as though they are living the story in real time. It’s a first-person shooter style of storytelling.

Avoid The Narrator Voice

The narrator voice slips in particularly if you’re more familiar with the omniscient point of view style (or, I’ve found this happens among writers who, as readers, detest feeling tension when reading themselves). This is a stylistic choice that makes sure the reader knows everything is OK before the conflict really heats up. I can’t give you a template or a list of words to do a search for. It all depends on the effect the phrase creates.

Some examples might be:

Later, he would realize this had all been a dream. (and then the dream sequence begins)
If only she’d known how Brad would react, she’d have kept her mouth shut. (and then she says the thing she later regrets saying)

This idea of hindsight or looking back before the event comes off as author intrusion in deep point of view and it adds distance. Now, this doesn’t mean your character can’t second guess themselves, but it’s expressed after they’ve done something. It can also work in a self-fulfilling prophecy sense. This is a bad idea or I’m going to regret this… and then they step into the hard thing as an act of courage or whatever. That’s different than this all-knowing narrator slipping into the story foretelling the future.

Writing in this way, especially in deep point of view, undercuts the tension for readers. By reassuring readers that the character will be safe no matter what’s about to happen, the reader is chucked into the backseat of the story car surrounded with bubble wrap.

Immediacy With Emotions

Writing emotions with immediacy is an often-overlooked aspect of writing in deep point of view. I wrote about the four layers of emotional storytelling here. We usually start with the first layer, the primary emotions. These are our instinctive emotional responses – the gut reaction, the spontaneous reaction, the survival instinct, etc. Often, these emotions are quick and visceral – meaning they have a physical component to them, not a thinking component.

You show this through physiological responses, physical reactions, etc. These are not emotions we think about before we decide if we’re feeling them or not. For example, we each feel fear uniquely. Show what fear feels like to that character. What terrifies one person, another won’t even pause over. Primary emotions require immediate action and prepare your body to act.

She scrolled through Facebook with her thumb. A shadow fell across the floor in front of her. A man punched the up button on the elevator and then stood nearly shoulder to shoulder with her. She inched away. What’s his deal? She looked up at his face, his hair parted with precision and the angles of his face sharp and chiseled.

He looked down on her and winked. Her belly clenched and she glanced around the lobby. Empty. She flicked her thumb and pulled up the emergency screen on her phone. Her thumb hesitated. He wore a nice suit, a real-leather-looking case in his hand that matched his shoes, and a gold watch. But the tightness in her belly spread up to her chest, cinching and squeezing. Her heart beat faster. The elevator dinged and she flinched. The doors slid open.

This is all primary emotions, right. Now, those emotions are going to force the character to do something, because this isn’t a comfortable feeling. She takes in a lot of information trying to decide if she’s safe or not. In deep point of view, we give the reader what evidence we have at hand and let them decide what emotion the character is feeling. This way, the reader knows WHY the character makes the decision they do. Make the reader lean in to understand, to engage with the emotions in the scene.

Primary emotions are immediate, raw, and unfiltered.

Perspective Is Determined Through Immediacy

In the example above, all of the information given to the reader is filtered through the character’s perspective. Her perspective is informed by what’s important to her RIGHT NOW.

There are some scenes where a character’s emotions dictate their plans for the future. Much of the time, what our characters take in, filter, judge, assess, etc. is put through a lens of what’s important to them right now. A teen boy can overlook quite a few things when he is hungry. All the sensory data intake is focused on finding food – smell, sight, past experience, taste, etc.

Think of the example above of the woman at the elevator, how would it change the character’s primary emotions if she’d been sexually assaulted previously? How would her thinking response change if she was on her way to work, to a job she couldn’t afford to lose, and she was a little late? How would her primary emotions react if she’d just read on her phone that the police were investigating a string of recent assaults in that neighborhood? Or she’d just had a friend who was assaulted?

Do you see how immediacy can shape a character’s perception of everything around them and shape their responses? It’s all interconnected.

Have a question about writing with immediacy? This is the third post in the deep POV FAQ series, have a question you’d like to see answered – post it below!

4 Exercises To “Go Deeper” With Deep Point Of View

September 22, 2019 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 3 Comments

Hearing “go deeper” from crit partners and editors? Here are my 4 favorite tricks for digging deeper emotionally into a scene.

Deep point of view is a powerful writing technique, but it’s a strategy and like any technique or strategy you need to know what effect you want to create so you understand where and when to break the rules. What you have to decide for yourself (once you know the “rules”) is where and when you’re going to employ or break those rules in any given scene to create a specific effect for readers. There does need to be consistency, but there’s a lot of flexibility here.

Deep point of view applied too rigidly causes writing on the nose, navel gazing, slow pacing, and other problems.

In my Method Acting for Writers Masterclass (and moreso in my Deep Dive Author Club Membership) I help point out places where the writer could “go deeper” with their writing. It’s been my observation that these writers instinctively know what the scene needed, but hold back because they fear being melodramatic or of baring too much of themselves emotionally. Step into the uncomfortable and messy bits!

My students are always asking me how I know where to take the writing deeper. Part of it is simply having some emotional distance from the story. It’s easier to pick it out in a story I haven’t written lol. That aside, here are some things I look for when critiquing student work to help them go deeper.

What does your character want RIGHT NOW?

This is easy to miss and can absolutely swing a scene from blah to bang! Identify what your character desperately needs in the scene you’re working on. What they want will prioritize and filter everything they see, what they think, and how they interpret the body language of others.

A teenage boy gets home from school at 4PM and hasn’t had lunch yet. He’ll blow into the house and not notice if the walls have been painted or if anyone else is home, his goal is to get to the fridge to see what he can eat. He’ll notice if there are grocery bags on the counter. His nose will be attuned to any cooking smells. He opens the fridge and immediately searches the space where he last saw a leftover slice of pizza.

A husband returns home to his wife after a late-night meetup with his lover. What his wife notices or takes in will be a reflection of her priorities, experiences, etc. If she’s neck-deep in work, maybe she’ll give him a kiss on the cheek and apologize that she’ll be up late again. She won’t notice the lipstick on his collar or the perfume on his shirt.

If she’s spent the day wrangling preschoolers and is exhausted and feeling frumpy, she might just sag with relief when he says he’s going for a shower and then bed after being out late because please-don’t-want-sex-tonight. She’ll overlook the red flags, maybe even justify or dismiss clues because she trusts him and her priority at that moment is some peace and quiet.

In either situation, she’s not stupid for missing the clues and it isn’t that she hasn’t registered or taken in the red flags, but her conclusions are filtered through her priorities. It’s human nature to miss what you’re not looking for. If she was suspicious, or less distracted, or angry that he was late, she’d put more importance on or be more attuned to his body language or behavior.

Identify what your character wants in any scene and filter all the details they notice, even the words they use to describe what they notice, through that focus or priority.

Create An Emotional Arc With Every Scene

Identify the emotion your character feels at the beginning of a scene. Each scene has an emotional beginning, middle and end. With plot, you want to structure your scenes in such a way that the character begins with a goal (that is the next step to solving their story goal) and by the end of the scene either they’ve gotten what they wanted but no longer want it, or they fail to get what they want. The emotional arc works the same way. The failure in the scene should be reflected in the emotional arc for the character as well.

Each failure should have an emotional consequence.

This arc doesn’t need to be dramatic or life-altering. It’s a slow change over time. You want to surprise your readers with the emotional arc when possible. Whatever emotion the character started the scene with, make sure they feel an opposite or conflicting emotion at the end of the chapter. It doesn’t have to be blatant like love and indifference. Don’t fulfil your character’s expectations. If the character goes into a scene happy but knows they’ll be betrayed by the end, there’s no surprise for the reader. The reader already knows what’s going to happen because the character does. Go back to the beginning of the scene and change up the emotional starting point.

Think of the second book in the Narnia series Prince Caspian. The Pevensies are transported back to Narnia and they have expected to be elated and overjoyed to have returned to what feels familiar, but instead, they arrive and are confused. That expected elation and joy feels a bit flat when they realize they haven’t returned to the Narnia they left.

Avoid Cliches With Metaphors And Similes

Cliches are boring for readers, they know what’s coming. Sometimes you can make that work for you, sometimes it undermines your story. So, how do you avoid clichés with your characters? First, make sure the character is telling the story – you’re not. In deep point of view, the goal is for the writer to disappear as much as possible so that the reader is living out the story WITH the main character.

Strap a Go-pro to your character and write what they see, pause at, are surprised by – as they work their way through the story. When you can do that, the next step is to infuse your character’s internal and spoken dialogue with phrases and comparisons that are unique. This is the easiest way to avoid cliché (because sometimes we write clichés and don’t even realize it).

To describe someone who’s angry, a farmer might say they’re mad as a hornet in a Coke can. A businessman might describe a meeting was as much fun as the middle seat on an international flight. What’s common to that character based on their experience and background? Choose comparisons that hint at where they’ve come from, or what’s important to them, when thinking or speaking.

Find The Key Emotional Point In Every Chapter

Your POV character is solving a problem – that’s your story. Every chapter/scene is the POV character’s plan (the next step they’ve come up with) on how to resolve or solve this problem they have. Obviously, they can’t solve their story problem in the first chapter, and there have to be obstacles between the character and whatever goal they have in.

In each scene, look at the goal the character has for that scene. List three or five possible emotions your character could be feeling. Stretch yourself here. Get curious. Why would they feel each of those emotions? What are the consequences of those emotions? What would be the personal fallout of each of those emotions? What kind of person do they think would feel that way? What judgement do they make about themselves based on how they feel about what they’re doing?

Whichever one you pick, make that emotion unique to that character in that moment.

There are many shades of fear, right. Why would that character be afraid in that moment? A character afraid of losing their job will feel differently than a character afraid of losing face by approaching a pretty girl. Answer the WHY for readers so they understand (and can empathize with and cheer for) your character’s motivations.

Will Deep Point Of View Work For You?

May 28, 2019 by Lisa Hall-Wilson 4 Comments

Will deep point of view work for you? Deep point of view is going to change your writing and even change how you read fiction, but it’s not a panacea to bestseller status. It’s just not. Deep point of view is an intermediate fiction technique that requires you to have a good foundation in basic writing skills to make it work for you.

Deep point of view is lipstick on a pig if you don’t understand story structure, character arc, tension, conflict, scenes and sequels, hooks, avoiding adverbs, passive voice, point of view, and maybe a few others that aren’t coming to my mind at the moment. If you are just starting out, focus on learning these things first. I promise you, it will save you hours and hours of editing and disappointment.

Why? Because these basic things will be all people point out to you when you’re starting out. They will see these beginning mistakes and shrug. This is a good writer, but they’re not ready to be published yet.

Been there.

However, if you’re past all those things and you’ve been writing for a bit then you’re probably ready for deep point of view. You’ve probably heard about deep point of view already and maybe wondered what it’s all about. This technique is particularly popular among any of the romance genre writers, but is growing in popularity across all popular fiction categories including fantasy, thrillers, crime, sci-fi, historicals, and others.

What Genres Does Deep Point Of View Work For?

Deep point of view brings the reader in super close to the emotional heart of a story. While action is conveyed through deep point of view effectively, the power of deep point of view is how a character feels (hence the prevalence of it being used in romance genres).

So whether your character has escaped her kidnapper, is the target of a serial killer, is parsing out whether that hot guy is worth the trouble he’s causing, is hunting for a missing child, is alone on a piece of driftwood after the Titanic has sunk, or facing down a dragon — how the character feels and how the events of the story impact their heart is where deep point of view really grabs readers by the throat and won’t let go.

What this means practically is that your story might be well-suited to using deep point of view throughout the whole novel, or is better used strategically for key scenes. It can be boiled down to a very simplistic view of character driven vs plot driven. However, every story is unique and the emotional tension might be a key aspect of a plot driven story. Only you can answer this question, and the answer might vary from one novel to another.

In a thriller, if the story is written from the victim’s POV, deep point of view could be very effective for the entire novel because his terror and self-doubt and rage are what you want the reader to connect with (the story is character driven). If the POV is the detective hunting the killer, then the concrete details of the investigation (plot driven) are the main plot drivers so using deep point of view for key scenes – like the aftermath of the discovery of a new victim, the night off when the detective chooses to drink herself into oblivion to avoid the emotions flooding her senses – could be very impactful for readers. These are trends I’ve observed, but it is overly simplistic. I think deep point of view can work for any kind of novel.

Can I Use Deep Point Of View With First Or Third Person?

Not all first person stories are written in deep point of view. I used to think that writing in first person nessicitated using deep point of view, but that’s not the case. How deep you want to delve into the emotional heart of a character and how close the reader feels to being IN the story, is the pertinent question to ask.

Deep point of view can work in either first person or third person. I’ve seen deep point of view used for one POV character and not another. I think the main point is to be consistent. If you begin writing a character in deep pov then keep that going. If you’re only using deep pov for key scenes, then keep doing that – for the whole novel.

3 Keys To Success With Deep Point Of View

Be Realistic And Authentic

Between the work from students of my Method Acting Class, submissions in my 5 Day Deep Point Of View Challenge on Facebook, and comments from readers of my Method Acting For Writers book, I’ve come to see that some writers don’t care about being realistic or authentic with emotions.

From time to time, most writers realize they’ve written a character who is being irrational, lacks focus or goals, or doesn’t face the consequences of their behavior — and we revise. We want to do better. But I’ve also encountered many writers who don’t care. They have an end goal in mind – a happily ever after or whatever, and they don’t care if the journey to get there feels real or authentic to readers. This is THEIR story and they can do what they like.

The problem with that attitude is that if these flaws are evident in your character in a shallower point of view, deep pov will only point a spotlight on them. Will there be readers who don’t care if a story is well-written or authentic? Yeah.

I’m not content to write those kinds of stories. I encourage all my students to strive for more than that too. I want to write the kind of story that impacts readers, makes them feel, is a story they want to revisit over and over — not just be an afternoon’s fling and never thought of again.

Commit To Excelling At Craft And Writing The Best You Can Write

If you want to write in deep point of view, commit to learning the strategy. Half-assing it will not create the effect you’re hoping for. Deep point of view is about so much more than avoiding distance words or telling.

Many of us are tempted to skim over details for a few common reasons. We don’t know the character well enough to know what they feel, why they feel that way, or what the impact of that emotion is on their character or actions. Sometimes we’re writing about an emotion or event that hits a little too close to home and we’d just rather skim over the details and get back to the story. If that’s the case, change the story event. You’re the author. You’re allowed to change things like that and still get your character to feel a particular way. Sometimes you have to put the story aside for a time until you’ve found some healing and perspective for yourself first.

Be mindful of your own mental health though. We’ve all read stories of actors who took method acting a step or two too far and paid some heavy mental health consequences as a result. Be kind to yourself. Take a break when needed. Talk with a friend, spouse, or therapist. Hey – athletes don’t hestitate to go to physio, a chiropractor, or massage therapist if it will help their performance. If your trade is writing emotions with authenticity and realism, then talking to someone who’s an expert on those things is a business expense and those experts are part of your support team.

Be Strategic

Know what effect you want to create in any given scene, where you want the character to go/feel/do as a result of any scene, and use the best tool for the job. This is hard if you don’t know what tools you have at hand or how to use them.

There are troves of blogs out there excusing telling without explaining how to use it strategically. There are blogs that only repeat the basic foundational steps for writing in deep point of view – they offer the top drawer tools in a tool box and neglect to mention all the bottom of the box tools you also need or have at hand. Sure, you can put on base boards with a hammer and nails, but a pro is going to use a nail gun. Learn the pro tools for a better overall finished effect.